As I come up to the light on my fixed gear Panasonic bicylce, the sport utility vehicle in front of me cuts to the side, nearly blocking my passing. I move to squeeze through the small space that remains, but the nimrod at the helm of the behemoth pulls an unsignalled right turn and goes right in front of me as I start to accelerate through the green light. I slow down, then speed ahead, wondering why on earth they let the morons loose for a day. Then I realize it is New Jersey, and the roads here are filled with morons, EVERY day. Without letup.
Now that the government has rendered the use of hand-held cell phones forbidden on the street, one can assume drivers will be less likely to run one over. But there is doubt about the ability of the law to be enforced. Many sport utility drivers use cell phones -- but many sport utilities also have at least partially tinted windows and are high off the ground. Will a cop at sedan level in his squad car be able to see who is yakking up a storm and who is just a bad driver? Moreover, the very effectiveness of the law is questionable. The act of talking on a cell phone is not the problem, it is but a symptom. Why don't people use turn signals? It could be because their hands are full, or they were born without thumbs, or their religious affiliation veiws turn signal usage as sinful. But the most likely explanation is that they just do not care!
Even if it were possible to ticket every DWB -- driving while blabbing -- the people going blah-blah aren't really the problem. It is the people who are going blah-blah and driving in a way which could result in massive death and destruction. I sh*t you not; the other day I was behind a vehicle downtown whose driver was doing 20 in a 45 mph zone, stopping for no reason, and veering into traffic coming the other way. She was -- you guessed it -- in an SUV and talking on a cell phone.
If the problem is that these people do not care, ticketing them for one manifestation of that problem -- erratic driving involving cellular telephone distraction -- will not solve it. They will be back in their massive battle-tank vehicles, holding not a cell phone, but a cup of java, a newspaper, makeup or hair brushes, candy bars, or a ham sandwich. I have observed people eating whilst driving, reading, and applying cosmetics. It is not uncommon to see women in cars sitting at a light after it has turned green, still fiddling with their hair. The cars behind them may miss the light, causing compounded delays and possibly making them late to work -- but they do not care. They want their hair straight. Just like the cell phone occupied, SUV driver who is on the wrong side of the street may kill someone -- including herself -- but doesn't care.
The harm is not necessarily direct. Even if all they do is stop up traffic, such people contribute to accidents. The drivers behind them, who have legitimate gripes with the inconsiderate and illegal behavior of these cretins, will invariably try to pass them, tailgate, or beep their horns. While beeping the horn is harmless, trying to pass such a vehicle can be dangerous. The U.S. government, especially in the state of New Jersey, has paid much lip service to road safety. They have made a bugbear of "agressive driving" -- attempting to criminalize the emotions of drivers. Signs on the hiway urge motorists to report "agressive" drivers. However, what of the cause of much of this agression -- namely the devil-may-care attitude of those idiots in their Hummers who have a cell phone in one hand and a copy of the New York Times in the other, and are seemingly steering by a rather uneffective telepathy? If the state is going to go after the result -- anxious and "agressive" drivers -- it should go after the inconsiderate and dangerous drivers who cause the agressive atmosphere in the first place. I do not mean "inconsiderate" in terms of rudeness, although these maniacs are rude. By inconsiderate, I mean they do not consider the danger they inflict on, and present, to others. And if you feel threatened by that swerving, seemingly maniacal Ford Expedition in your Toyota, imagine what it must seem like to a dude on a bike.
Because of his open position, good view of the road, and ability to slip through traffic, the cyclist sees many more road mishaps than the motorist -- and some unique to his form of transport. Vehicles will pull out in front of you, pretending not to see you. If you pull out into the lane and go around them, they will usually get the point. But some will cut you off, or try. They do not care that they could kill you, or ruin an expensive bike.
The SUV driver in particular seems to suffer from egosis fragilus -- fragile ego syndrome. This is not true of all sport ute drivers, of course -- some actually use their vehicles for hauling stuff, oh gosh, like they were intended for! -- but many more seem to own them as ego-boosters, massive armored shells to substitute for some deficiency in size elsewhere in the picture. Example: On a ride through one NJ town, I was nearly run into a sewer grate on my bike by a Ford truck on jacked up monster wheels. I shouted to the moron to be more careful: "Watch it, Bub!" The driver then slowed, pulled along side me and began shouting profanity as if he was in the middle of a bad drug trip. Had I been able to take thre license plate, I would have reported the driver, for he was obviously A: not sober, B: emotionally disturbed, or C: under the influence of some narcotic. You have to have some serious issues with your little grey cells to feel threatened in your huge SUV by some guy on a bicycle pointing out your illegal and reckless ways. This brings back the point; they don't want to hear it. They know they put lives at risk every time they get in their car -- and they don't care. And they aren't big enough to admit it when someone yells at them to watch out before they kill someone. So they yell back. The result is what some call road rage.
So what to do? The lawmakers figure ticketing yapping drivers is enough. Maybe this is about par for the government mind; after all, the same crowd thinks all it'll take to stop another September 11 is to make us all take our shoes off at the airport. But the fact is there are some people who do not belong in automobiles.
If you ride a bike enough, you will realize how widespread the misuse of our roadways is -- and how little is done about it. It's enough to make you wanna call your legislator. Just make sure you pull over first. The cops are watching.
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