Hi, I'm Optimus Michael B. I rule, I have a website, I play the drums, I have a gas mask. What the hell are you doing here anyway? Oh, you must have clicked a link, or stumbled on it, you fucking clumsy moron. Stop tripping around everywhere, especially on my site. It's very fragile, you should be more careful, and dedicate more time to dying. Did I mention how much I rule? Between mars and jupiter Theres a gap for another planet, now way back yeah. Maybe a mad man just blew the shit out of it. You know what I use to spike my hair? Knox gelatin. You know how many gallons of fake blood were used in the filming of A Nightmare on Elm Street? 500 gallons. Llame a cualguier lugar en Mexico! If you have problems, do not return this phone card to the store, instead, pull out a gun and blow your head off. WOOH! Sup bitch? Still reading? What have you learned here? It better not be anything about me, because that is pretty much what I started with the idea of for this site. It was to make it provide you with no more knowledge than you came in. At least, no more knowledge you'll remember that long. But now I'm just rambling. I like scrabble. Or Literati! It reminds me of that one guy, his name starts with an L...Oh, right. Paul. Now let me tell you a little story about Paul. Back in fourth grade we were to wear uniforms. A blue shirt and khaki pants, but this kid, this kid wore a black shirt. He wore that black shirt on the daily. If you were to ask where Paul was, all you would have to do is look for the kid with the black shirt, whose father played the organs, organs of the DEAD! In the church that is. Speaking of Organs, a game I played back in fourth grade was Oregon trail. But nevermind that, now. This one time this third grader strangled my old friend David, the name of that kid I don't remember, but more to the point, we were in computer class after recess, and I got on his file in this story program and on one page I made it say, "So what are you going to do today? Strangle David!" Then on the next page I made it say DON'T STRANGLE DAVID! It ruled. The teacher was like, "Who dun this?!" And I was like, That shit was me, and it's hifuckinglarious! Followed by an uproarious laughter and applause in approval of me. But let's flash forward, and forget anything I said about Oregon Trail. Who the hell is still reading this? I mean seriously! Actually, if you are still reading this, I tip my hat to you. I tip my hat to you because I want a fucking donation from you for me taking the time to make it for you to read! Come on, I'm not made of money. I am made of a rubber band, a screw, and a spring. This site is going nowhere, fast. In which case, it is just standing around, but it's mind(subject in the case of this) is going fast, and nowhere to be found. I'm not sure, I think I'm in a band, but who knows? Let's look through this misplaced sixth grade year book. I'll name off the bitches, and cool people. People that have the same year book and follow along! Bitch, Bitch, Bitch, Bitch, Bitch, Bitch, Bitch, Cool, Bitch, Bitch, Alright, Cool, Bitch, Bitch, Bitch, Bitch, Bitch, Bitch, Bitch, Bitch, Don't mind this T.J character, Bitch, Never understood this person, Bitch, WHAT AFUCKING BITCH!, Bitch, Bitch, Bitch, Bitch, Bitch, alright, cool, Bitch, cool, Bitch, Most awesome kid in the fucking book, Bitch, Bitch, Bitch, Bitch, Bitch, Bitch, Bitch, Bitch, Bitch, Bitch, Bitch, Cool, Bitch, alright, cool, cool, Bitch, Bitch, WHO IS THIS JEFF CARROLL PERSON?! HE'S RIGHT NEXT TO MICHAEL, WHO IS COOL!, Bitch, Bitch, Uhhh, Bitch, Bitch, Bitch, Bitch, moron, Bitch, Bitch, Bitch, Uhh I got lost on the person I was on a couple people back. Let's start up again on Saffat, who is cool. Cool, Bitch, Bitch, Bitch, Bitch, Bitch, Bitch, Bitch, Bitch, Bitch, Bitch, Bitch, alright, Bitch, alright, nice, Bitch, Bitch, Bitch, Bitch, cool, Bitch, Bitch, Bitch, Bitch, Okay I quit, this is taking to long and ruining the moment. You know what you don't see often? A brown wedding dress. You know, for someone who has had anal sex, but not vaginal. You know what I mean? I'm sure at least ten people have had that problem.