It has been brought to my attention that there are three instances in which I have insulted cats. (Sasquatch eating a kitten, Hello Kitty getting shot, Hello Kitty exploding) Rather than apologizing I have decided to make yet another page about how stupid kittens are.
Kittens are stupid. Why does everyone like kittens so much? Is it because they are cute and helpless? Or is it because they lick their bodies as a standard step in personal hygiene? Whatever the reason, a whole lot of people like kittens and I'm not sure why. They sure are stupid.
Scruffy sure is ugly. I bet you wouldn't want to watch scruffy lick himself would you. Not so cute when it's missing a chunk out of it's ear now is it. Scruffy also has glowing eyes. That means he hates you. You are hated by the most repulsive ball of fur I have ever seen. Be proud.
In fact, every cat has glowing eyes. Have you ever noticed? It's kind of spooky. If you look at them just right it's like they are giant balls of pure evil. It means they hate you. All cats hate people. Cats are trying to destroy the planet. Did you know that? They are.
Every cat on the planet is actually a hyper intelligent pan-dimensional being trying desperately to destroy all of mankind. Here is an example:
And just to spite you:
I hate cats, but they hate everyone.
