Once again I feel it necessary to address the unwashed masses, lest you come to believe I do not think about my subjects. You are in luck today, as I am feeling generous. I am going to give some of you a chance to save yourselves a from a fiery death on the Sun's surface. This is specifically addressed towards those of you who have no idea what you are doing , yet bumble along blindly until something goes wrong. Then, you blame others even though it was your own damn fault for being too stupid to read directions. This group includes about 99% of the people using AOL, (future sun dwellers all) and then a quite a few remaining morons scattered about the world. I would suggest that if you wish to become anything more than a smoldering cinder with my laughter as your only eulogy, you will pay close attention. If you fall into the above group, gather your computer, your phone, your drivers license, and anything else you could possibility use to contact an intelligent human being, put them in a pile, and set them ablaze. You are henceforth forbidden to interact with anyone intelligent until you can prove yourself worthy of becoming a productive member of my new society. You will be given a chance to prove this yearly to the representatives I shall choose to interact with you. This system will operate along the same lines as the census.

Two more minor items of interest. I have had some pathetic fools complain that the link system on this website is to difficult to utilize. I have done this on purpose, as a minor test of intelligence. If such a minor puzzle as my link system is too daunting for your simple mind, you do not deserve to bask in the brilliance this site has to offer. (Hence the limited access of the main page)

Those of you with sufficient intellect to plumb the depths of this website are welcome to peruse the Trusted Lieutenants section, as I have added the first of many new updates to it.

That is all. You are dismissed for now.