Although newcomer RPS’s acquisition of the Micro Machines rights is not final, once Mattel get to play this game there is no doubt they will willingly give them away, possibly even for free. The street racing genre may be getting crowded these days, but don’t write this one off as just another clone. Yeah baby, there’s some real fresh juice here. First off, you get to choose from a mind-blowing 3 characters. There’s Wooga, the dark, brooding, smoking, long-eared cat. Next up, we’ve got Highway Man. He’s king of the road, you’d better not mess with him, or he’ll pound your skull and disappear without a trace. The final racer, and the one most effort seems to have been applied to, is Gingie. He’s the original smack-talkin’ gingerbread man. He may look cute and edible, but if you eat him, don’t think he won’t hack you apart from the inside, and then re-cook your bloody remains into some sort of gingerbread zombie.
The driving part of the game is faster than a cheetah in a jet plane. On steroids. I mean, both of them are on steroids. The jet plane’s taken so many steroids that it’s grown pulsating muscles on its wings and a second cockpit below the original one. It’s even got rotor blades now. But the production studio still surprise with a speed boost option, which is like putting a leech made of pure lightning into a blender and then putting it in your car’s engine. The game, which looks totally awesome, even boasts the kick-ass feature of destructible scenery. The developers don’t confirm that this is the case, but rumors say that you’ll be able to use this to your advantage, possibly toppling whole high-rises on your rivals. There’s even evidence of an additional boxing ring mode that keeps the fast pace of the rest of the game, with the gingerbread hero ducking and diving between blows like a mixture of Cassius Clay and Muhammad Ali. No, not a mixture, more like a compound! A COMPOUND, GODAMMIT!
It’s real safe to say that this game is gonna kick royal ass, and leave its competitors crying for their mommas on the sidewalk, while they try to stop the flow of blood from all their ruptured arteries with a single band aid. This reporter thinks it’s even safe to say that this will definitely be the best game that has ever been made or ever will be, and anyone trying to compete had better skip a generation of consoles, not only to compete in graphical terms, but also to give themselves time to devise a new digital fighting style to combat the incredible awesomeness of this game. But calling it a game isn’t doing it justice. This is more a lifestyle. Place the preview copy of this game next to a popular candy bar such as a 3 Musketeers and the candy bar will turn back into a cocoa plant, and fly at the speed of sound back to the rainforest where it was harvested, leaving a crater the size of New Jersey. H – O – T!
