We all know someone like that: they exploit design flaws in games to try and win without using skill. It often results in pain for them, too. So why do people play games like bellends? The clues are in what they do. If they don’t use skill to win, chances are they’re absolutely shit at games. Or it could be that they are deliberately trying to annoy whoever they’re playing against and provoke violence – because they’re masochistic and really should be a gimp instead of a gamer.
Fighting games suffer badly because of these gay-mers. There are loads of annoying things you can do in a beat-em-up that result in getting beat-en-up. Repeating a particular move (usually a fast one) is a favourite tactic. It makes you want to bite through the pad when you get beaten by someone doing continuous low kicks. And why did they beat you? Maybe because you didn’t think they were enough of a cock to employ such a strategy. And that’s what they call it: “strategy”. Or “tactics”. Whatever name you give it, it provokes murderous thoughts.
Online games are riddled with these scumbags, too, first-person shooters in particular. And all the things they do have names, which shows that it isn’t just a few people doing it. There is spawnkilling: standing behind a spawn point and shooting someone in the back as soon as they’re brought back to life. Then there’s teamkilling. Pretty self-explanatory, really – killing your team-mates. Why anyone would want to do that is beyond me. (Apparently, this is a big problem on Halo on the PC.) And there’s good old camping, when someone sits in a hard to reach place with a sniper rifle and never moves out of that spot.
You can’t even escape it when playing in a group of friends (as I said, we all know someone like that). On multiplayer shooters (Halo, for example, again) people like this always grab the toughest vehicle they can get their filthy hands on and don’t get out of it. It’s not particularly fun to do, it doesn’t prove that you’re good at the game, and above all it’s not fair. Foul play happens in sports games, too. Now, tactics ARE a part of sport, but “tactics” aren’t. Timewasting on corners and throw-ins belongs in the children’s playground, not the virtual football stadium.
So, what have we learnt here? These kinds of people have no sense of honour. They don’t play fair. They like physical pain. They are immature. They are gay-mers. Hey, I like that term. Think I’ll use it more often.
