Well, while I do not frequent the web-pages of your illustrious “posse” i thought I’d write a brief/long review (depending on my ability to resist the allure of the smell of crumpets coming from the kitchen) on Metroid Prime. No doubt it will be unpopular, but quite frankly you Nintendo zealots can suck on my wireless controller! However, I digress.
Metroid Prime is somewhat of an oddity on the Gamecube, what with it being a game aimed at people over the age of 10! *shock horror* It is, allegedly, “as good as ‘Legend Of Zelda: The Wind Waker” (Wanker if you’re feeling sophomoric) yet within half an hour of playing this game I seem to have noticed a pattern in the gameplay, it goes something like this:-
“Look a giant bug!” - bang bang bang bang bang
“Man/cyborg eating spider!” - bang bang bang bang bang
“Shoot the five switches quick!” “The fate of this bland environment depends upon it!” - bang bang bang bang bang
“Heads up, giant plant(!)” - bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang (few extra shots, clearly giant plants have more life, duuuh)
With the exception of occasionally rolling up into a ball, this is basically the game in a nutshell. If you’re feeling particularly rebellious you can fire a laser cannon or something too! Ooooooo, variety!
I know what you’re thinking, but I did give this game a fair chance, but eventually the sheer monotony wore holes into my overused trigger fingers. Gripping storyline too! Aliens taking over the universe! All they were missing was a few Russian communists and jingoistic American soldiers (“take ‘em out chief!”) and it would be every easily-pleased shoot-em-up gamer’s dream!
So in conclusion, 9/10, 91%, gold awards and other such accolades are really unjustified and I urge you to spend your money on some GOOD over-priced Gamecube games, like Super Monkey Ball and Pikmin 2. Read Gamecentral on channel 4, teletext, page 375-9 too while you’re at it. Aaaah, shameless plugging, gotta love it. My grammer wasn’t bad either.
