These are my favorite quotes from "Will and Grace" ...enjoy!
Sam: The last time I saw you, you were THIS big... but you were on a hill and I was far away.
Grace: And I was at Bloomingdale's this morning waiting on line to buy wrinkle cream, and this Jennifer-Love-Michelle-Sarah-Felicity looking thing bumps into me and says, "Excuse me, ma'am."
Jack: For your information, most people who meet me do not know that I am gay.
Will: Jack, blind and deaf people know you're gay. Dead people know you're gay.
Jack: Grace, when you first met me, did you know I was gay?
Grace: My dog knew.
Grace: Hmmm. Well, you've come on a good night. Jack's mother is going to be joining us, and she doesn't know Jack's gay.
Karen: How could she not know? What is she, headless?
Karen: Good Lord. I can't believe I'm at a public pool. Why doesn't somebody just pee directly on me?
Grace: Will, my love for you is like this scar, (points at elbow) ugly, but permanent.
Will: No, no...Psychic Sue said I was going to spend the rest of my life with a guy named Jack.
Jack: Jack who?
Will: Jack you!
Jack: Jack me?
Will: No thanks!
Will: Good-bye Notorious F.A.G
Karen: It's the oldest story in the book. Boy meets girl. Boy wants girl to do dominatrix film. Girls says, "Naked?" Boy says, "Yeah." Girl says, "No way!" Boy says, "Okay how about you just wear this rubber dress and beat this old guy with a scrub brush?" Girl says, "How hard?"
Grace: [sobbing] I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone! And all the people are pigs! And I'm the pretty one, but everyone thinks I'm ugly because they're all pigs and they think pigs are pretty!
Will: Grace, do you want to sleep with me?
Grace: I'm sorry, I don't sleep with gay men.
Will: Oh, see, that's the problem. I do.
Jack: I can't believe I'm 30. Do you know how much that is in gay years?
Jack: I bitch-slapped the law, and the law won!
Karen is showing her breasts to a woman]
Grace: Karen, what are you doing?
Karen: She started it!
Grace: Karen, she's breast feeding!
Karen: Oh...That would explain the little bald man.
Karen: Grace Alden! I'm ashamed...
Grace: Adler! My last name is Adler!
Karen: Oh...That's pretty.
watching slides in her bedroom, depressed]
Grace: This was my puppy, BoBo. He got run over by a truck. Lucky bastard.
Describing his ideal man.]
Jack: I don't care if he's rich or poor, fat or thin, as long as he's rich and thin!
[after seeing Karen's mother]
Rosario: Santa Maria, it has a mother!
Rosario: [to Karen] Up yours, Count Drunkula!
Rosario: Listen lady, in my county I was a schoolteacher!
Karen: Oh yeah? Well in this country, you wash my bras!
Jack: So, K, how's it going with the divorce? Do we know what we're getting yet?
Karen: Well, we'll find out next week after the hearing, but I'm not worried. All we have to do is show that Stan cheated on me - which the filthy pig did - no hard feelings - may he rot in hell - I love him to pieces - the fat turd. And I get half of everything.
Karen: The only other person I've apologized to is my mother and that was court ordered.
Grace: Oh my god! Jack got turned on by a woman?! Well, he couldn't be straight, so, what, now he's a lesbian?
Dr. Leo Markus: Grace, I have to go to Guatamala to help out some doctors down there.
Grace: You're going back to Africa?
Dr. Leo Markus: Yes! And while I'm there I'm gonna buy you an atlas!
Grace: [to Jack] Today I'm handing out lollipops and ass-whoopins and right now, I'm all out of lollipops!
THESE ARE SOME OTHER MOVIE QUOTES THAT I FIND QUite AMUSING...
Quotes from "Analyze This"
Dr. Ben Sobol: Let me get this straight: you flew all the way down to Miami and kidnapped me from my hotel room in the middle of the night just because you couldn't get an erection?
Boss Paul Vitti: Don't that prove I'm motivated?
Dr. Ben Sobol: You know, you can take a pill for that.
Boss Paul Vitti: Nah, you start with the pills, the next thing you know you're putting in hydraulics. A hard-on should be achieved legitimately or it shouldn't be achieved at all.
Jimmy: You think those whales piss in that water?
Jelly: No, I think they use the men's room next to the Burger King.
Boss Paul Vitti: Hey, I got news for you, you little two-bit prick, son-of-a-bitch, rat-bastard you did nothing for me! Whatever you did the other day didn't take! I'm still fucked up! You did fucking NOTHING for me!
Guard: What kind of sandwich ain't too fattening?
Jelly: A half a sandwich.
Boss Paul Vitti: [to Dr. Sobel] If I turn fag, you die.
Quotes from "My Cousin Vinny"
Vinny: Hey Stan, you're in Ala-Fuckin-Bama. You come from New York. You killed a good old boy. There is no way this is not going to trial.
Judge Chamberlain Haller: I don't like your attitude.
Vinny: So what else is new?
Judge Chamberlain Haller: I'm holding you in contempt of court.
Vinny: [To Bill] Now there's a fucking surprise.
Judge Chamberlain Haller: What did you say? What did you just say?!
Vinny: Huh? What did I say?
American Pie 1 and 2
While looking at a picture of Stifler's mom]
Milf guy 1: Dude that chick's a MILF!
Milf guy 2: What to hell is that?
Milf guy 1: M-I-L-F Mom I'd like to fuck!
Milf guy 2: Yeah dude! Yeah!
Flute Player: He's a sweetheart.
Michelle: He's my bitch.
during drive to lake]
Stifler: Oh, yeah! The Stifmeister's coming back to Grand Harbor! Deck the halls! Bye-bye, Great Falls! Wipe my ass and lick my balls! It's Stifler time, baby! Whoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo!
Jim: I'm not retarded, I'm a very special boy.
Jim: Ah, yes. You would be referring to the flute fetish band geek, who made me her bitch, and ditched me after prom."
Stifler: Holy shit dude! I found a dildo! Dildo! Dildo! Dildo! Big blue rubber dicks for everyone! The people demand rubber dicks!
Jim: What are you doing?
Stifler: Looking for more lesbian artifacts!
[hands Jim the dildo]
Jim: Where did you get this?
Stifler: Finch's ass!
Stifler: I'm in a lesbian stronghold!
Sherman: I am the Sherminator, a sophisticated Sex-Robot sent through time to change the future for one lucky lady.
Nadia: Am I a lucky lady?
Sherman: Nadia, you've been targeted for Shermination!
Stifler: [answers the phone after awkward situation with Jim and Finch] Stiffler's palace of love...STRAIGHT love.
Jim: That counted!
Stifler: That totally counted!
Danielle: That's the way to kiss you're mother!
Stifler: [to Finch] DON'T YOU SAY ANYTHING!
"Girl Interupted"
Susanna: [narrating] Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
Lisa: We are very rare and we are mostly men.
Janet: Lisa thinks she's hot shit cause she's a sociopath.
Cynthia: I'm a sociopath.
Lisa: no your a dyke
Cynthia: Hey John, call me a cab.
John: Okay, you're a cab.
Lisa: Lady, back off!
Mrs. Gilcrest: Was I talking to you?
Lisa: No, you were spitting on me, so mellow fuckin' out!
Mrs. Gilcrest: Don't you tell me what to do.
Lisa: Look, she gave your husband a rim job. Big fuckin' deal! I'm sure he was begging for it, and I heard it was like a pencil anyway.
Mrs. Gilcrest: Why you - how dare you!
Lisa: Some advice, okay? Just don't point your fuckin' finger at crazy people!
Tony: Do you see purple people? My friend saw purple people and one day some men from the state came and took him away. He didn't like that. So time went by and he told 'em he didn't see purple people no more.
Susanna: He got better.
Tony: Nah, he still sees 'em.
Lisa: So, have you had your first Melvin yet?
Susanna: Who's that?
Lisa: Bald guy with a little pecker and a fat wife. You're thera-rapist, sweet pea. Or, ah, are they givin' you shocks, huh? But god forbid letting you out. Then you get to see the great wonderful Dr. Dyke.
M.G.: She means Dr. Wick.
Susanna: Oh, I've been in his office but I haven't met him yet.
M.G.: He's a she. Dr. Wick's a girl.
Lisa: That's right M.G. Wick's a chick.
