Josh Almes, like Ellen, says a lot of interesting things to me. A lot of things he says in Spanish and I don't understand, but it's still funny. Instead of putting all of his quotes in my profile, I decided to make a website. Enjoy!
armadillo3488 (10:55:17 PM): but what if his penis was really a midget that ran away when it heard the large boom
armadillo3488 (10:55:53 PM): you have two penisless men
armadillo3488 (10:57:25 PM): my penis fell off during the explosion so you aint makin babies while i'm alive kim beck
Haha, well, this might not be funny unless you read the whole conversation, but I thought it was hilarious
armadillo3488 (11:00:03 PM): would they arrest the father?
KiBe 06 (11:00:03 PM): Well, then there would be no mother
armadillo3488 (11:00:06 PM): for murder
KiBe 06 (11:00:16 PM): Hahaha, yes.
KiBe 06 (11:00:18 PM): No.
armadillo3488 (11:00:23 PM): please
KiBe 06 (11:00:23 PM): They'd arrest his sperm
armadillo3488 (11:00:31 PM): those microscopic bastards
Once again, probably not funny to anyone else.
Probably my favorite Joshism.
...I think Josh really wanted his poop back. From who? Yo no se.. maybe the toilet??
Before you take this the wrong way and think Josh and I do bad things together, we don't. He was implying that he was my poop. Long story.
armadillo3488 (9:53:57 PM): seven nation army is totally a rip off of smoke on the water
Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (9:54:04 PM): really?
armadillo3488 (9:54:15 PM): yeah
armadillo3488 (9:54:33 PM): it goes all "dooooo do Do do do dooooo doo"
armadillo3488 (9:54:43 PM): o wait
armadillo3488 (9:55:00 PM): smoke on the water is "doo doo dooooo doo do duh doo doo"
Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (9:55:14 PM): lol
armadillo3488 (9:55:25 PM): did u understand that?
Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (9:55:28 PM): no
Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (9:55:29 PM): not really
Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (5:16:41 PM): I think you killed my kitty
armadillo3488 (5:17:06 PM): i killed a lot of kitty's
Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (5:17:13 PM): :-(
Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (5:17:15 PM): KITTY KILLER
Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (5:17:22 PM): God.. always thinking of yourself
Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (5:17:32 PM): Maybe you should think of the kitties for once in your life.
armadillo3488 (5:17:51 PM): kittens . . . masturbation . . .
armadillo3488 (5:17:58 PM): that's an easy one kim
Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (5:18:01 PM): Just have sex.
Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (5:18:04 PM): then everyone wins
armadillo3488 (5:18:42 PM): no if you have sex you kill a baby
Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (5:18:52 PM): But you might MAKE a baby
Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (5:18:55 PM): so it will even out
Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (5:18:59 PM): Plus, babies poop
Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (5:19:03 PM): and smell bad
armadillo3488 (5:19:31 PM): u smell bad u dutch whore
Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (5:19:41 PM): I know... why don't you just kill me then
armadillo3488 (5:19:42 PM): there are two things i can't stand in this world
Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (5:19:52 PM): kitties and dutch whores?
armadillo3488 (5:19:57 PM): 1. people who are intolerant of other cultures
armadillo3488 (5:20:12 PM): 2. the dutch
Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (5:20:14 PM): Hahaha
Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (5:20:22 PM): are irish people okay?
armadillo3488 (5:20:42 PM): they're too drunk to hate
Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (5:20:47 PM): good
Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (5:20:51 PM): because im part irish too
armadillo3488 (5:20:54 PM): they kill themselves everyday
Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (9:45:25 PM): did it die?!
armadillo3488 (9:46:01 PM): the penguin?
armadillo3488 (9:46:01 PM): most likely
armadillo3488 (9:46:01 PM): KIM ARE YOU SERIOUS IT'S A FRIGGIN PENGUIN
armadillo3488 (9:46:06 PM): it's not like they dropped a cow underwater
armadillo3488 (9:46:17 PM): it was an AQUATIC bird
Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (9:46:21 PM): lol.
Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (9:46:24 PM): Oh yeah
Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (9:46:25 PM): I forgot
...I am really dumb. Sorry Josh...
i won't take time and stall
better catch her 'fore she falls
her ankle just aint right. yall
this woman she's got dutch in her
we just can't get enough of her
even though she's got this racial issue
she told me she don't need no tissue
so instead of hatin the dutch way of life
lets give kim beck a hand for
society's knife
of DUTCH HATIN STRIFE
this girl she uses her words
to help others, even woodchucks and birds
but lots it don't help the stupid ones
but f#$% them day aint no fun
i'd rather be friends with kimmy jo B.
than with those other catz
who keep takin my cheese!!!
Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (10:21:30 PM): Hahahahahaha
Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (10:21:35 PM): That was very nice, Josh
armadillo3488 (10:21:42 PM): happy easter kim
Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (10:21:48 PM): Wooo!!!
Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (10:21:58 PM): Im glad you didnt add a line about me killing kittens
armadillo3488 (10:22:05 PM): aw dang
armadillo3488 (10:22:13 PM): i knew i was 'gettin somethin
Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (10:22:17 PM): :-)
armadillo3488 (10:24:00 PM): Kim is a kitty killer in the worst possible way
ive tried and tried and tried to tell her
that there's no way she can do that all day
Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (10:00:26 PM): Goodnite Josh.. Wiffleball champion of the world
Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (10:00:28 PM): !!!
armadillo3488 (10:00:34 PM): mine was better
Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (10:00:38 PM): I know
Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (10:00:41 PM): I was under pressure
armadillo3488 (10:00:57 PM): :-D
Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (10:01:01 PM): Haha
Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (10:01:06 PM): Im glad that made you happy
armadillo3488 (10:01:20 PM): thank flonase
Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (10:01:26 PM): I use flonase..
