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Ellenisms

As I'm sure everyone knows, Ellen is one of my closest friends. I don't want to brag, but I put up with a lot. It takes a lot of work to comprehend the things she says some times. And I know, everyone who knows Ellen is probably thinking, "Ellen, be confusing? NO. Ellen is too smart and not blonde." But just to prove, I have included several conversations that we have had. (Well, she has had, and I have tried to comprehend.) Add these to the many things she says that are so random and stupid, and you have everyone's favorite Ellen!

KiBe 06 (6:21:17 PM): What time do you want me to come over tomorrow?

klutzy1629 (6:22:02 PM): yeah

klutzy1629 (6:30:17 PM): so how was your day kim?

klutzy1629 (6:30:20 PM): i mean ellen

KiBe 06 (6:30:21 PM): it was boring

KiBe 06 (6:30:23 PM): yours?

klutzy1629 (6:32:02 PM): same here oh wait my mom made me plow my drive way and after i finished plowing my half of a mile drive way mother nature decided to screw me over and said ha! im going to make this girl ellens day a living hell and it snowed harder and now my drive way has more snow on it then before i started to plow and i have to get up tomorrow morning and plow again

KiBe 06 (6:32:22 PM): aww :-(

klutzy1629 (6:32:36 PM): put that on your web page that was a better piece of my writing

klutzy1629 (6:32:52 PM): i used a lot of figurative language

KiBe 06 (6:32:59 PM): im going to put that

KiBe 06 (6:33:04 PM): Ill make a page of Ellenisms

klutzy1629 (6:33:05 PM): haha

klutzy1629 (6:33:09 PM): sweet

klutzy1629 (6:34:04 PM): yeah so thats how my day has gone

klutzy1629 (6:34:10 PM): oh wait it gets even better

klutzy1629 (6:35:33 PM): my mom said that she would shovle the bottom of the drive way so while im pushing this 500 pound machine up and down my drive way some one we know offered to plow the bottom part of my drive way so my mother didnt have to do anything

klutzy1629 (6:35:41 PM): add that to the ellenisms

This one doesn't really count as an Ellenism.. but I don't care

Ellen and Josh: *laugh laugh giggle*

Ellen: HAHA

Mr. Allaman: Kim! That's an extra two minutes for laughing! And Ellen.. I guess you have to stand with her too because she can't stand by herself.

"You are a whore!" That is my quote, but Ellen said it to a girl during a basketball game by accident, because she was so used to hearing it from me. Probably one of the proudest nights of my life.

"Kim, he keeps popping out! ...Stop popping out of the hole!" Ellen, talking about her baby. (It's a balloon and her baritone bell, for all of you pervs)

Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (8:36:05 PM): Did you have a bad day today?

klutzy1629 (8:36:10 PM): yeah

Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (8:36:13 PM): :-(

klutzy1629 (8:36:17 PM): :-D

Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (8:36:18 PM): Did the balloon cheer you up?

klutzy1629 (8:36:23 PM): yeah

Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (8:36:25 PM): And fyi, I added a couple more Ellenisms today

klutzy1629 (8:37:33 PM): well until he started being me to me after school (im really sorry about this kim but it had to be done) so he was being mean to me and showed him the balloon and then i said "Tony this is what i think of our friendship"......POP!!!!

klutzy1629 (8:38:08 PM): thats an ellenism..ithink

klutzy1629 (8:44:43 PM): are you going to the guys bball game tomorrow??

Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (8:44:49 PM): Yeah!

klutzy1629 (8:45:03 PM): im not

klutzy1629 (8:45:17 PM): im not going to the guys game

Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (8:45:24 PM): why not?

klutzy1629 (8:45:29 PM): hahahahahaha just kidding im really going hahahahaha

"Hey Kim.. did you hear about the kid who ruptured his spleen??"

"My goldfish died"

klutzy1629 (8:54:01 PM): haha we should send those message things to everyone and it will say "if you dont talk to tony for the rest of the week and send this to as many people as possible by midnight, all of your wildest dreams will come true" VOTE FOR PEDRO!!

klutzy1629 (9:09:50 PM): hahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

klutzy1629 (9:09:58 PM): hahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

klutzy1629 (9:10:05 PM): hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

klutzy1629 (9:10:14 PM): ok

klutzy1629 (9:10:15 PM): im done

Ellen and I, watching SNL

Ellen: Who IS that guy?! (said with disgust)

Me: Ellen, that's Lindsay Lohan.

Ellen Myers (3:57:37 PM): i was leaning back in my computer chair with my head hanging back so my hair was against the back of the chair and then i fell backwards completley with my legs in the air and my hair stuck undernetath the chair and i couldnt pull my hair out from underneathat without ripping from my scalp so as i was laying there with all the blood rushing to my head my brother stood there and laugh and then i was laughing so hard i started crying and now i cant stop crying.....i dont think i have laughed that hard in a long time i laughed even harder then when we watch snl and i thought lindsy lohan was a man

Yes, everyone.. this is Ellen, my best friend. The smartest girl ever!

Ellen Myers (3:22:12 PM): that would be hairlarious

Ellen Myers (3:22:20 PM): oops

Ellen Myers (3:22:33 PM): my bad

Ellen Myers (7:30:01 PM): dude your a freak i cant believe you actually got a dell

Ellen Myers (7:30:43 PM): that should be my slogan when i invent a new computer that you can hold on the tip of you finger and it does everything for you

klutzy1629 (10:08:53 PM): have you updated the ellenisms lately

klutzy1629 (10:08:56 PM): ?

Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (10:09:12 PM): Nope

klutzy1629 (10:09:16 PM): klutzy1629: i apoligized

klutzy1629: im so lame

klutzy1629: haha no im not

klutzy1629 (10:09:28 PM): cause i think that should be one<.P

Ellen Myers (9:24:52 PM): i almost died tonight

Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (9:24:56 PM): porque?

Ellen Myers (9:24:58 PM): in the middle of the game

Ellen Myers (9:25:02 PM): idk

Ellen Myers (9:25:16 PM): well i hit a brick wall

Ellen Myers (9:26:10 PM): number 52 is a brick wall and she will kill you

Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (9:26:17 PM): Hahahaha

Ellen Myers (3:21:29 PM): kim i am very offended by your info

Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (3:21:32 PM): Why?

Ellen Myers (3:21:53 PM): idk

Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (3:21:55 PM): ..?

Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (3:22:01 PM): Because it says "Tony"?

Ellen Myers (3:22:33 PM): :-) he really made me mad today he was being an asshole during english

Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (3:22:42 PM): What did he do?

Ellen Myers (3:25:39 PM): uh he was typing in appropriate things on the computer so when he went to the bathroom i shut down his computer

Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (3:25:49 PM): lol

Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (3:27:58 PM): You know he does this stuff because he knows you will get angry, right?

Ellen Myers (3:28:26 PM): yeah thats why i shut down his computer w.out saving his english paper

Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (3:28:39 PM): Ellen..!

Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (3:28:42 PM): Did he get mad?

Ellen Myers (3:28:51 PM): ooopps my bad

swimmer3335: what the hell are you doing

klutzy1629: my internet keeps on disconnecting

klutzy1629: i hate wireless

klutzy1629: who did she say it was

swimmer3335: o

swimmer3335: she said cathrine and heather

klutzy1629: haha

swimmer3335: y do you laugh

klutzy1629: heather

swimmer3335: yeah

klutzy1629: you and heather went out for like a week

swimmer3335: fuck you

klutzy1629: and then she dumped you

swimmer3335: um no i dumped her

klutzy1629: i thought she dumped you

swimmer3335: nope

klutzy1629: oh ok

swimmer3335: yeap

klutzy1629: srry then

klutzy1629: when you said that they left pic of tubas this time that should have been a big hint

swimmer3335: y

klutzy1629: uh lets think tubas

swimmer3335: ellen i dont know anything about

klutzy1629: a fair in ohio??

swimmer3335: them

swimmer3335: what

klutzy1629: a fair in ohio

klutzy1629: you should know about it

swimmer3335: i am confused

klutzy1629: where are you going this weekend???

swimmer3335: no where i am having a party in the putz

klutzy1629: bri said you were going to a fair in ohio

swimmer3335: ask her now

klutzy1629: then what are you doin this weekend

klutzy1629: im so confused

swimmer3335: no first you answer my question

swimmer3335: what about the tubas

klutzy1629: who do you know that plays the tuba??

swimmer3335: zack

klutzy1629: no

klutzy1629: the other one

swimmer3335: hank

klutzy1629: .........

klutzy1629: or some one he know

klutzy1629: sswimmer3335: john clark

klutzy1629: no

klutzy1629: someone hank knows

swimmer3335: idk

klutzy1629: well thats the person who is involved with the pics

swimmer3335: do i know this person

klutzy1629: yeah but you wouldn't expect them to do something like this

klutzy1629: sorta

swimmer3335: are you good friends with them

swimmer3335: is it kim

klutzy1629: no

klutzy1629: hanks grade

swimmer3335: idk really know any of them

klutzy1629: see

klutzy1629: i told you

klutzy1629: you wouldn't really know the person

klutzy1629: now answer my question

swimmer3335: no you didnt answer my ?

klutzy1629: what was your question??

swimmer3335: what does it have to do hank

klutzy1629: they are trying to give you hints and they are friends with hank

swimmer3335: yeah but what about the tom cruise thin

swimmer3335: g

klutzy1629: i dont know what that was about

swimmer3335: are they male or female

klutzy1629: that i cant tell you

klutzy1629: no answer my question

swimmer3335: actully you can tell me you just wont

klutzy1629: i answered yours

klutzy1629: i know

swimmer3335: i am haveing some guys over

klutzy1629: ok

klutzy1629: when??

swimmer3335: on saturday

klutzy1629: ok

swimmer3335: yeah

klutzy1629: yep

swimmer3335: it is cathrin isnt it

klutzy1629: yeah but there is someone else

swimmer3335: is it heather

klutzy1629: maybe

swimmer3335: that means yes

klutzy1629: maybe

swimmer3335: and so does that

swimmer3335: hey i am going out to the putz i will bbl bye

klutzy1629: ok w/e bye

swimmer3335 is away at 7:48:01 PM.

klutzy1629: i dont like your info

Hahaha, Ellen is a good liar like me, hooray!!!

Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (8:30:44 PM): I have a question...

klutzy1629 (8:31:34 PM): ok

klutzy1629 (8:31:46 PM): ask awat

klutzy1629 (8:31:50 PM): oooppss

klutzy1629 (8:31:52 PM): away

klutzy1629 (8:31:57 PM): hehe i types away

Ellen Myers (4:55:40 PM): so kim if you lose your cub dont climb up a telephone pole cause you will get shot with a tranq and then get electrocuted

Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (4:56:00 PM): Haha, I'll have to remember that!

Ellen Myers (5:11:48 PM): SHIT SHIT SHITOOIPOE! the last one is in dutch you should know that already since its your homeland

Ellen Myers (5:18:06 PM): alright well i g2g i have to go shake a tower

Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (5:18:13 PM): bye

Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (5:18:17 PM): shake that tower hard, baby

Ellen Myers (5:18:36 PM): hahahahaha hahahahahhahahahahahahaahahahahahaha ok bye!

Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (5:18:39 PM): lol

Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (5:18:39 PM): :-)

Ellen Myers (5:18:40 PM): :-D

Ellen Myers (5:18:48 PM): im such an idiot

Ki Mb Ec K5 18 (5:18:51 PM): I like it

Well, that's all I have for now.. I'll be adding more as Ellen says dumb things. If anyone has anything to add, make sure you tell me about it!