Wisdom and insight make you a better person
Mood:  down
You know what's great? Never being over something. Or someone. Even if it's been close to a year that you've been without that person. But hey, 365 days just fly by when you want what you can't have. Especially if you can convince yourself that you're fine. It's so easy to believe it. "Hey, I'm cool. I'm moving on. That whole mess doesn't bother me anymore. Hey, look at this girl over here. She's cute, I'll talk to her." Don't worry though. No matter how happy you think you are, you're always just one minor event away from becoming a raging emotional freak. And then you realize how life is a full circle, and that no matter how hard you try, you'll always end up right back where you were.

You know what else is freakin terrific? Spending 3 years with a person, then having them not talk you. Well perhaps that isn't a complete truth. After all, there's always the occasional "Hi" or mumble in my general direction when we see each other, but that's about it. This is what best friends do, though. I can't tell you how many times I've told people, "Hey man, I still like you. You've become my best friend. So, naturally, I'm gonna start ignoring you now. But I still care." Friendship, ain't it grand?

One more thing that's just spiffy as all hell. Realizing you are a inconsequential waste of space. Nothing like being easy to forget. It's awesome, cause then you don't even have to try to make friends. What's the point, everyone forgets about you anyway. But why would they even remember? It's not like your anything special. You get up, go to work, come home... that's about it. Ever now and then you could try to take an interest in something, but that won't last long, and then you'll be right back to where you started from. This is such a fun circle. And as for personality, well, you can be funny, but that's about it. Don't try talking to people and being serious, that's not your thing. Fuck this entry. Fuck this life. I want to be done with both.

the only thing keeping me from being a writer is the writer's block
i have nothing to say really. well actually i have plenty, but no desire to. that's what i've been like lately though: very unmotivated. what's the point of doing anything, you just end up right where you were anyway. i don't really believe that, but it's a nice notion to play around with every now and again. eh, fuck it, at least i still have my looks.

did that sound a little forced? hollow, maybe? perhaps the shield is loosing it's touch. how long can you keep laughing when it's not funny anymore? this is depressing, i'm gonna stop now.

And I'm back
Wow, sure didn't take long for me to get bored of this thing. Perhaps it should have more bells and whistles. And nudity.

Hardcore nudity.

Hardcore nudity makes everything more fun, even preschool.

Especially preschool.

Anyway, my books finally came in. Three Kingdoms, a classic Chinese novel in 4 volumes. So far, it's pretty good. Kind of hard to follow with the names though. Everyone has 3 names: surname, given name, and style. Most characters are only referred to by their sur and given names, though. The problem is, there's like 10-15 words (Li, Zhang, He, Lu, Shao, etc.) and they just keep getting switched around to make new names. Stupid uncreative Chinese! God I hate other cultures!!! Everyone should be just like me, then things would be much better.

Spoken like a true American.

Did I mention I'm only wearing a towel right now? We're one knot slip away from that hardcore nudity I mentioned earlier. He He, alright.

Neil

Round 2
This journal is now almost a day old... not that that's really a big deal, but I just thought I'd mention it.

So I spent my day faking a limp at work, seeing as to how I called in the other day saying that I twisted my ankle. I think I did a good job; not only with the limping, but also with the occasional grimacing in pain. It probably helped that I spent about 5 minutes before I left for work smacking my ankle with a pair of scissors so that it was a little sore. That's called method acting.

You just can't beat the deet. Damn I love advertising.

Neil

Round 1
So it has finally happened.

What has happened, you ask?

Did the Earth spin out of cosmic alignment?
No, not that I know of.

Did Ozzy Osbourne and George Bush fight it out for the title of "hardest former junkie to understand"?
No, but that'd be a great thing to see.

Did a man drink not one but two glasses of human urine and live to tell the tale?
Yea, but that's old news.

What I'm talking about is the fact that I've actually started this online journal. (note: I say online journal because I refuse to use the word blog. God I hate that word. Why can't it just die, or at least get really really sick.) It's been a long time coming, but here it is. Everyone now has a chance to subject themselves to my assorted ramblings and bitchings.

Why now? After so long? Well I could say that it was a long, drawn out decision I finally made. I could say that my personal and financial advisors told me that now would be the time to start an online journal. I could say that this all stems from a need to create and to express myself...

But it's more like it's one in the morning, no one is online, and I'm bored off my ass.

That being said, I'm going to get back on my ass now... here we go... no wait, that's backwards.. dammit, which end of this thing is the front... ah, i see, i'll just... no, that's backwards again... there, got it. I feel better now. I'm gonna end this post now, cause I don't want it to get any weirder than it already is. So until next time...





Wait until next time.

Neil