1. Never spend more than 40 dollars on a date.

2. Dump a woman if you haven't had sex with her by the third date.

3. Always make sure alcohol will be consumed on a date (no coffee or lunch dates).

4. Never date single mothers or women with a lot of debt.

5. If women think you're a jerk, that's good, because nice guys don't get laid.

6. Put some Tabasco sauce in the condom after you're done using it, in case she tries to dig it out of the trash and impregnate herself with it.

7. Go directly from the bar to the bed (or back seat of the car). If she wants to stop and get food along the way, you're not getting any so just give her your number and go home.

8. Eat a hearty meal before you go out on a date with her. That way, when you take her out to dinner, you just eat a green salad and save money. No woman wants to eat more than you.

9. When you go to the ATM, look for a receipt with a large balance, then bring it to the bar/club and write your phone number on it and give it to a hot chick.

10. Do not enter a relationship unless she promises to use birth control and is willing to get an abortion in the event of pregnancy, and do not marry without a pre-nup.