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Lens Flair

lens flare n. unwanted light that reflects and scatters inside a camera, causing strange halo effects in photographs.

This is my life in pictures. Well, sort of.





I haven't any photos that capture the ethereal beauty of the light of heaven shining down upon my face, as happened once to my father and dog...

...because I am a fairly normal person, and as such I am not the object of many lens flares, divine or otherwise. I do, however, possess a certain amount of lens flair, which can account for many things.

Like most normal people, my day begins in the bathroom. There, I wipe the sleep from my eyes and attempt to make myself presentable.

My life is rarely boring, but, when it is, I have a nice little "bored face" for it...

...however, I prefer to break out of the every-day routine in any way I can. Sometimes this involves escaping from jail...

...but don't worry, I'm not naturally evil. In fact, I have been known to don a mask and cape and step before crowds of people to defend the world from numberless scum...

...with my superhuman strength, I've rescued terrified damsels from beneath unruly boulders ...

...and I've used my superspeed to install dishwashers in record time...

...of course, like all good superheroes, I can fly. How else do you think I got up to the roof to rake the bothersome pine needles from the shingles?

I find that I need to get away from all this hard work once in a while to gain a higher perspective on things...

...and getting there is half the fun!

When I have free time, I enjoy taking my time machine into the past...

...the best kayaking is in the receding water at the end of Noah's Flood...

...and there's nothing quite like sledding during the Ice Age!

At the end of a long and exciting day, it's time for a nap in the inflatable chair!




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This page last updated at 3:06 a.m., July 19, 2002
Copyright 2002, A.J.S. All Rights Reserved.