THE New And Improved Dirtionary
Purple Yogurt Flicker
Another name for the penis. Thanks Skwirut
The Space Launch
Before the load blows, grab the tits and jam your dick so far up into her she would swear she was blasting off into space and then as she screams start to pul out, and count down 3......2....1......then blow your load on her face and say "Excess fuel has been dumped"
The Red Scare
This one is for the ladies. Let the sad little boy fuck you on your period without telling them, then when there dick comes out red, scream "oh my god your dick is bleeding!!!" and watch him cry like a little girl. Thank Akiro, getting better.
The Shark
When you're going down on a girl, and you get so ansy, you bite her clit off. Thanks Akiro (you're not quite dirty YET)
Wankerstank
The condition when ones nutsack smells like a burst colostomy bag, thus rendering any unsuspecting fellators almost instantly unconcious. Thanks Corey
The Wankerstank Spank
After rendering the female unconcious (via Wankerstank), have a field day violating her in places no man should have gone before. Then when your done, sign your masterpiece by rubbing your sweaty stanky-ass ballsack across her lips and under her nose. Works almost as good as date-rape drugs, and is untraceable. Thanks Corey
Grundle/Taint
The area between your asshole and your dick/cunt. (taint comes from "t'aint your ass and it t'aint you dick")
The Purple People Eater
Simply dip your peepee in grape jelly before receiving a blowjob, thus making your woman out to be the dreaded "Purple People Eater" thanks Swampy
Firefighter
You pump a chick 'till you're about to cum, then you pull out and light her pubes on fire and see if you can put then out with your cum, a variation (called smokey the fire dog), where you light HER on fire with kerosine, and try to do the same. Thanks Swampy
The Puppet Master
Your'e doing a girl doggy style and just before u blow it you pull your wank out and shove your arm up her ass so far that u can almost make her mouth move with your hand. Thanks Swampy
The Beefy Queef
You've fucked a girl so hard for so long, so that youve built up so much air pressure in her twat that as soon as you pull out she lets rip such an explosive, fucking SMELLY queef, that your penis hides behind your leg and your balls ascend back into your abdomen. Corey, you're fucked up.
Cork SCREW
A sideways doggy style, Hannah fell asleep on Rocco's lap, and this is what it looked like. Thanks Hanna for putting yourself in that position, Rocco was happy.
Mr. Clit
When you're about to blow a load, you pull out bite off her nipples put them on top of her cunt, and blow your load in a smiley face. Thanks again Corey, you sick fuck.
Hellen Kellar
You need one woman, and three guys one comes in her mouth one in her eyes, and the other in her ears, so she cant see hear or talk, thanks Corey!
Bitch on a Spit
You and your friend each insert a penis into one of her ears, then drag her across the floor, thanks Corey!
Mongolian Blindfold
You take your testicles and place them over your bitches eyes so she cant see anything, then surprise her with a fat piece of shit shoved down her throat thanks Corey!
Wedding Cake
When you're so pissed off at a woman (or mad at their screaming) that you take a shit in your hand and smear it on her face. (like a wedding) thanks Corey!
Junk
A commonly used High School term used to describe the scrotum.
Junk Wars/Tag
A High School game, of tagging, grabbing, or slapping the male genitalia, girls can play, but can't be hit.
Junk Yard
A bunch of drunk guys who have fallen down in a pile, or close together.
Gum Job
What happens when you get your grandmother to suck your dick, without her dentures.
Pocket Pool
The only way to masturbate when people are looking
Jizz Mopper
What hoe does after she misses your load
Phantom Spitter
When you're fucking a girl up the ass and you pull out and spit on her back so she thinks you came. She turns around to look at you, and question if you're done, and then you blow it in her eye.
BVF (Bloody Vaginal Fart)
What happens when a girl on the rag queefs
Fishing for Brown Trout/Walking the Old Dirt Road/Semen Enema
When you try your dambdest to get your cock up through her large, and small intestine.
This is Where our made up one's end and consumption junction's begain
The Dirty Sanchez
When you're going at it doggy-style and just as you're about to spill your load, you plunge a finger into her poopshoot and reach around to her upper lip, where you proceed to paint on "The Dirty Sanchez."
The Wet Burrito
Similar to the Dirty Sanchez, only performed with your own ball sweat.
The Code of Silence
Anytime you fuck a girl that's so dirty or ugly that you rip off the used condom, gag her with it, and tell her that you'll kill her if she tells a soul what just happened between the two of you.
The Coyote
When you wake up the morning after sex with an absolute beast to find that she's sleeping on your arm and rather than have to talk to her or, god forbid, touch her again, you gnaw your own arm off and leave it there.
The Purple Mushroom
When your receiving a little oral pleasure from a girl and just before you shoot your load, you whip it out of her mouth and try to impale her cheek. The impression it leaves resembles a purple mushroom.
The Divot
A must for golfers! When you've got your hand below the belt on some girl with a fair amount of bush, you grab on to as much of it as you can, scream "Fore!" and rip every last pube out of her.
The Bronco
When you're taking a girl doggy-style and just at the moment of climax you reach around, grab her tits as tightly as you can, scream out another girl's name, and enjoy the sensation as she tries to buck you off.
The Rodeo
A variation of the Bronco where a bunch of your closest friends are hidden in a bedroom closet prior to the sexual encounter. At some type of a prompt, they all run out with a video camera and you try and see how long you can stay on as she tries to get away.
The Pearl Necklace
When you are enjoying a fine blowjob or titty-fucking session and you happen to leave a line of droplets resembling a string of pearls around her neck.
The New York Style Taco
Any time that you are so drunk that you go down on a girl and puke in her box.
The Stinky Pinky
When you're going at it from the back and you insert a pinky finger in
along side your member, reach around front, and plunge it so far into her nostril that it tilts her head back.
The Gobstopper
When you're receiving a hand job and just as you're about to come, the girl decides to squeeze your unit with all of her might and cap you off with her thumb.
The Stranger
When the tedium of your nightly jerk off becomes too much so you sit on your hand until it falls asleep, giving the sensation of someone else doing it.
The Donkey Punch
When you're attacking a girl from the back and at the moment of climax you pull out, plunge it into her cornhole, let out a mighty "Hee Haw!" and punch her in the back of the head. Note: In order to fully enjoy the Donkey Punch, you must knock her out as this results in a tightening of the asshole.
The Hot Lunch (aka Cleveland Steamer, aka Hot Carl)
When you're receiving a blow job from a position where you're crouched over her face on all fours and you drop a monster shit right onto her chest.
The Chili Dog
A variation of above where you proceed to titty-fuck her afterwards.
The Shocker
When you're fingering a girl and decide to give her a surprise so you insert a digit or two into her asshole.
The Beetle Clip
You insert your thumb into the snatch and forefinger into the poopshoot and try your damndest to make them touch each other.
The Six Pack
When performing the above and you attempt to carry the girl around (similar to the way you would a six pack).
The Golden Shower (aka Watersports)
Any shape or form of urinating on or in a girl.
The Bismarck
When you've got your dick buried to the hilt in some girl's throat and you pull out to sign her face, then belt her, and smear the blood and come together.
Tossing Salad (aka Rim Job)
A common prison practice that could also be termed "eating asshole."
The Cave
When you blow your load into a girl's mouth and proceed to kick her teeth in, making her mouth look like a cave.
The Bullwinkle
When you're entering your partner from the rear and you reach up front, wrench her nipples as hard as you can, put your hands up to the sides of your head like antlers, and wiggle your fingers and stick out your tongue while emitting a high pitched turkey gobble.
Felching
A homosexual activity in which one fag fucks another and proceeds to suck his own splooge out of his partner's asshole with a straw. This one's not even popular in prison.
The Dog in the Bathtub
The name given to attempting to drop your nuts into a girl's asshole. Aptly named as it's about the only thing harder than getting a dog into a bathtub.
The Dolphin
When you're giving it to a girl from behind and you pull out to stuff it in her butt when she turns her head around and whimpers, "Uh Uh, Uh Uh," sounding exactly like a dolphin.
The V-Plow
When you're muff diving and in order to look up at the girl you drag your whole face through here snatch, nose proudly leading the way, parting that nasty labia.
The Crimson Tide
When you're going down on some girl and, to your surprise, the lunar alignment dictates that her monthly flow has just to begun.
The Free Willy
When you've worked up such a throbber that when some girl unzips your pants to give you a hummer, you spring forth and poke her eye out harpoon style.
The Mudslide
After convincing some girl to give you a little ass munching action, you proceed to unleash a massive flow of diarrhea and sit there and laugh as it runs down her face and body.
The Fortune Cookie
After you're done banging some chick, you slip the condom off as you pull out, leaving it in there for the next customer.
The Eiffel Tower
When you and a friend decide to work a girl over together. You get her down on all fours with one of you in her mouth and the other going at it doggy style. From this position you give one another a mighty, two-handed high five, making the entire structure resemble the Eiffel tower.
The Angry Dragon
On the first round of the night, work up an extremely large load during a blow job. Just before you're about to explode, grab the back of her head and ram your unit as far down her throat as possible, causing her to gag on your pint of fluid. The result? She spews it out of her nose, making her resemble an angry dragon.
The Flying Camel
A personal favorite. As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her from your knees, you carefully balance yourself without using your arms to prop yourself up. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long, shrieking howl, much like a camel in distress. Strictly a class move.
The Fishhook
A variation of the shocker in which you pull back towards the pussy after you stick your finger up her anus.
The Ram
Again, you're attacking from behind, when you start ramming her head against the wall in a rhythmic motion. The force of the wall against her head should allow for deeper penetration. Very handy for those lulls in penile sensitivity.
The Fountain of You
While sitting on her face and having her eat your asshole, jerk off like a madman, build up as much pressure as possible before releasing, and spew like a geyser all over her neck, tits, and stomach (Better in her bed).
The Pink Glove
This frequently happens during sex when a girl is not wet enough. When you pull out to give her the money, the inside of her twat sticks to your hog. This is referred to as the pink glove.
The Fish Eye
Fucking her from behind, you shove your finger in her ass (or his if you are in prison) whereupon she turns around in a one-eyed winking motion to see what the hell is going on back there.
The Fur Ball
You're chomping away at some trollop who has a mane between her legs the size of Lionel Richie's afro, when a mammoth fur ball gets lodged in your throat and causes you to beat the piss out of her.
Tea Bagging
When she takes your whole scrotum into her mouth and holds it there like a tea bag in a cup of hot water.
The Hummer
While sucking on your rod, she emits a low humming noise. The vibrations from her throat make it all too easy to bring her concert to a quick end.
Snow Balling
Occurs when some chick takes your load in her mouth and has the audacity come up and kiss you while it's still in there.
The Camel Clutch
When she's lying on her stomach with you giving it to her from behind and you decide to emulate the Iron Sheik through his signature move, grabbing her underneath the chin and pulling straight back with both hands.
The Rumpledforeskin
When some girl makes you stop fucking her because she somehow realizes that you don't remember her name, causing you to go limp (like the fairy tale).
The Skull Fuck
The act of removing a person's eye (unless you really luck out and find someone who's already lost one) and fucking the gaping whole left in its place.
One in the Fridge, One in the Freezer
Another one that requires a partner, this simply refers to you and a buddy putting one in her pussy and another in her butt, and simultaneously trying to reach her uterus and large intestine.
The Repunzel
When no amount of suggestion, persuasion, or begging will get a girl to go down on you and you're forced to resort to simply pulling her head down there by the hair.
The Boston Cooler
Any form of oral stimulation in which you cleverly conceal ice cubes in you mouth to surprise your partner.
Alot of the bottom ones were taken from the dirtionary located at comsumtionjunction.com
