Goldwing: I'm too old for uncompromising sportbikes like the Concours.
Norton: I know the absorption rate of every brand of cat litter.
H-D Low Rider: I already had the tattoo.
H-D V-Rod: I'm a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon. I also do tattoo removal.
Ducati 996: I have lots of money.
MV Agusta d'Oro: I have an obscene amount of money.
H-D Sportster: I-I-I d-d-didn't h-h-have q-q-q-quite en-n-n-n-nough m-m-m-money.
Munch Mammut: I have more money than sense.
Suzuki Bandit: I have more sense than money.
1965 Triumph T120 Bonneville: I love John Bloor. And he's the Antichrist.
Brough Superior: My other ride is a Sopwith Camel.
Virago 1100: I listen exclusively to Melissa Etheridge, Ani DiFranco, and k.d. lang.
Yamaha R1: To be old and wise you must first be young and stupid. Oh, wait, I'm dead.
GSXR1000: My girlfriend's thong is DOT-approved.
BMW boxer: Damn, it's 20° and snowing. I'm going to have to put the liner in the Aerostich.
BMW R1150GS: I'll be writing a book about this trip.
Buell: I wheelied all the way here 'cuz the front wheel fell off.
V-Max: It's a crime that Arnold Schwarzeneggar has never won an Oscar.
1986 Yamaha 700 Fazer: I was ahead of the curve.
750 Nighthawk: My favorite food is egg salad on white bread. With grape Nehi.
Ural: I was attracted to its intriguing combination of German styling and Russian reliability.
Hayabusa: No way was I doing 175, officer! I was WFO! It musta been at least 186!
Shovelhead: Kiss my ass.
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