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My testimony
My testimony. I was raised in a non-Christian home. I had no Christian
Influence, nothing at all.  At age 6 or 7 my cousin took me with her to church. I wasn't sure what to believe about God. I ended up going to church with her every Sunday I visited her but I still didn't understand what to think about God.  
 
I remember telling people that I was Christian just to fit in, but I knew that I wasn't because I never asked God to live in my heart.
 
At age 12 I started lying; stealing money from my mom's purse, from
stores, anything I wanted I took.  I rebelled greatly against my parents. I thought that this was all right to do because my cousin whom I was very close to did things like stealing, drugs, lie, have sex.She said that she was Christian so I thought that it was an okay thing to do.
 
I kept on this way until I was about fifteen. I got scared, I was just about to steal a ring from a store, and kept thinking, I'm going to get caught; I know I'm going to. So Ii put the ring back. I think God really spoke to me there.
 
When I reached middle school I didn't have many friends, because I had been moved around so many times.  My band teacher had a major influence on me.  She brought me to church and to youth group.  She loved me for who I was.  I didn't realize that at that time.  I stayed at that church for only about half a year, then moved to a different church with Ashley.  
 
I gained more and more Christian friends there and for once in my life I was happy.  Melenie helped me as much as she could with the issues I had with my dad, but then she gave up on me. I was hurt again. My dad verbally abused me. That isn't the only abuse I have suffered through. My brother sexually abused me; it took me several years to get over that.
 
I moved again to a different church, this time I went there because my voice teacher invited me to go with her. So I did.  I joined their youth group and had a lot of fun but I still didn't believe in God.   
 
I went down to Washington State with them to Creation Fest.  The first year that I went I got sick and didn't have a very good time but I met friends there and it was good.  The next year that I went was amazing for me. I went over to a prayer tent, and I had people praying for me and I felt like I was supposed to get baptized, so I did.I still didnít know anything about God then I didnít know what it was like to be Christian.  
 
About a year later I went to Trinity Church. They really believed in tongues and in very spiritual things. I went there because my cousin who was clean of all her problems: having sex, doing drugs lying.  My cousin and I got really close, for a time we were inseparable.  That changed when I met the Thorton family, (where my cousin was staying) I started getting jealous and mean to her because I was jealous of what she had and what I didnít. I started hanging out with the family more then I did my cousin.  
 
Well I went on a trip with the youth group at Trinity.  We went all the way to Kelowna. I met an awesome person, which helped me so much with understanding and of God.She is one of the first people that encouraged me. 
 
Again I switched churches, but this time I went back to where my band
Teacher was.  Yvonne (band teacher/ Youth leader) was there for me as
She could be.  She cared for me a lot even though sometimes she was very strict with me.  But finally she also gave up on me like Donnalee did
(My cousinís family)    I got along well with the summer worker there, and we bonded just like that. She has been helping with all my problems. She said that she would be there as much as she could for me, but she too left me. I was hurt so badly hurt by all the people who have given up on me. I was scared to trust anyone, or even let anyone close to me.  Every time someone came near me I pushed them away.  
 
Most of them did go away but I was in a chat room over a year ago and I met Patty, she was always there for me when I needed her and it helped me so much. She taught me that I shouldnít push people away and I even tried to push her away, of course it didnít work. I also met His Girl, she also has helped me so much and she doesnít let me push her away no matter HOW HARD I TRY, I canít get rid of her.  I dedicated my life to Christ in July 2001. It hasnít been easy but Iím working on being more like him.
 
ďFor I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord,
 plans to prosper not to harm you. 
Plans to give you a hope and a future: Jeremiah 29:11
 
SarahBear