Author's Note: You may notice that this fragment has absolutely no continuity with the previous one. In fact, it occurs earlier in time. Be prepared to expect that with this series. These stories all do occur in the same futureverse, though.

2023…

Buffy lay back on the couch, yawned, and watched as Mr. Wilkins grabbed Tabitha roughly by the shoulders and pulled her into a passionate kiss. Her interest continued to dwindle as the couple fell back onto the office couch, groping at each other like rabbits in heat.

“Honestly,” Buffy rolled her eyes, “what do you see in these shows anyway?”

The only response she got was a slight mumble.

Buffy sighed and looked down at her stomach where her mate had made his pillow.

“It’s not fair,” she informed him, toying gently with his soft, peroxide blond curls. “You make me watch this lame show with you and then fall asleep, leaving me to suffer on my own…”

He nestled his head snugger into her flat stomach muscles and clutched at her hip with one hand, in his sleep enjoying the feel of her body vibrating when she spoke.

She graced him with a small smile before turning her attention back to the television. Mr. Wilkins and Tabitha were still crawling all over each other and moaning each other’s names unconvincingly.

“She is so faking it,” she told her sleeping lover. “I mean, look at them! It’s not even remotely realistic! And how old is he, anyway? Fifty? Not that relationships with age gaps can’t work…” she added as an afterthought. “But still, ugh! Look at him! He’s hideous. All she wants from him is the deed to her mother’s house, anyway. This whole show is sick. I’m changing the channel.” She began flipping through the stations like mad.

It was a testament to how deeply asleep he was that he didn’t protest.

“Soap, soap, infomercial, sleazy talk show, wrestling, more infomercials, soccer game, soap, cheesy game show, soap – oh my god! ‘As the World Turns’?! That show is still on?! My mother watched that when she was a kid! That show’s got to be, like, eighty by now, don’t you think?”

No response.

“Hmm…” she hit the muting button and turned her attention to the much more interesting matter of the man in her lap. “You’re really out of it, aren’t you?” she teased. “I could do all sorts of things…” She began fiddling with his slicked back hair. “All sorts of nasty things to you while you’re asleep…”

She used the gel to her advantage, spiking his hair all straight up. She giggled slightly at how much the look reminder her of pictures she’d seen of him back in the 1980s before twisting his hair all together at one point in front.

“Ta-da!” she said proudly. “A unicorn horn!”

He still didn’t seem to be waking up. Buffy giggled and split the horn in two, giving him the equivalent of devil horns.

“Ooh! Very appropriate on you,” she teased, “my sexy little devil.”

One of her hands moved to stroke his razor-sharp cheekbone, and he murmured softly, leaning slightly into her touch. His fingers began twining the soft fabric of her boxers in between them, toying with them gently.

Ah, those boxers… What a battle they had caused!

Buffy still couldn’t help but laugh at the memory of when she’d first made him get them. He’d protested vehemently against wearing any such thing. She’d made the all too reasonable argument that the only reason she wanted him to get a pair was so that she could steal them from him. Grudgingly, he’d agreed.

The real problem had started when she insisted that he wear them before her. He’d flat out refused at first. She’d carefully explained that if they didn’t smell and feel like him, then there was no point in her wearing them. He’d made the point that she really didn’t need to wear anything, and things had deteriorated for a while… However, their activities had allowed her to give him a sneak preview of just how grateful she would be if he wore them.

So he had. And pretty soon he’d decided that they were comfortable. She still suspected he had done it just to annoy her. He still had an unfortunate tendency to do that to her once in a while…well, maybe it wasn’t unfortunate since she found it so sexy…but still! He’d refused to fork them over.

A brief struggle had ensued, and she’d finally managed to liberate them. That was just two days ago, and she was still parading them around like a trophy. He seemed in no hurry to reclaim them. In fact, he quite obviously enjoyed watching her wear them.

In any case, they’d both come to the conclusion that their activities for the past two weeks were far better than the assignment they’d just finished.

Buffy wiggled slightly when his fingers began to ease their way under the fabric to get at her bare thigh.

“OK, I sooo know you’re awake now, Spikey,” she patted his cheek affectionately. “So get up and entertain me!”

He let out an annoyed growl and looked up at her with sleepy eyes. “Was havin’ a nice nap, luv,” he grumbled good-naturedly.

“Oh, bad me for waking you up,” she said coyly, twisting a lock of her long, blond hair around one finger.

He growled deep in his throat and lunged at her…

And she burst out laughing. Really, with the hair and all, it was just too much!

“What?” he asked, bewildered.

“Sorry!” she exclaimed. “It’s just…I…” She broke back out into hysterics.

He huffed. “My advances didn’t used to make to laugh,” he sat back and sulked.

“Hair!” she finally managed to cry out.

“Hair?” he felt his head, and his eyes widened comically when he found out what she’d done. “Why, you little minx!” he scolded her, combing his hair back into place with his fingers.

“Mmm-hmm,” she nodded in agreement.

“And you’ve changed the channel, too,” he protested.

“You were asleep, and do you have any idea how boring it is to watch that show without you insulting it with me?” she defended herself.

“Sorry about that, kitten,” he chuckled, laying his head down between her breasts and turning to look at the TV. “Guess you wore me out is all.”

“Maybe I’ll have to trade you in for a newer model,” she teased.

“Humph,” he sulked.

“Or not,” she conceded. “I’ve kind of grown fond of the old model…”

She lifted his head up, and their lips met briefly before they both turned back to the muted screen.

“They need to invent ultra-muting or something,” Spike commented, his vampiric hearing still able to pick out every sound emitting from the television.

“It’s annoying all right,” Buffy agreed, yawning, “but then again,” she raised a speculative eyebrow at the TV, “we wouldn’t want to miss this jingle, now would we?”

“Heaven forbid,” he agreed. “Turn it back,” he insisted. “ ‘Passions’ll be on soon.”

“That show is just too weird. I can’t believe it’s still on,” Buffy rolled her eyes while complying with his wishes.

“’s a bloody brilliant show,” he insisted, his fingers now toying with the fabric of her shirt. “Slayer…” he said in sudden realization, “is that my favorite black T-shirt you’re wearing?”

“What, this?” Buffy fluttered her eyelashes innocently. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“A thief and a liar,” he muttered under his breath.

“No wonder you love me so much,” she joked.

“Hmm, no wonder,” he agreed as the opening credits rolled and they prepared to waste another hour of eternity…

Be kind: review. Pretty please?