Disclaimer: Don't own 'em. Same as last time. And the time before that. And the time before that. And the... You get the picture.

Summary: Set after the S7 episode 'Showtime'. The Slayers in Training sneak a closer look at the enemy and find something other than what they expected... A humorous ficlet. *COMPLETED, March 2003* PG13

Author's Note: Woah, I actually wrote a S7 fic! The world's coming to an end! (Just kidding.) This takes place right after the episode 'Showtime', so Buffy's just gotten Spike back. I tried to keep all the SiTs as in character as possible but, hey, some of them have only had a couple of lines, so I could later turn out to have been off. Let me know how you thought I did, though, and enjoy some lighthearted goofiness...

Behind Enemy Lines
by Kantayra

“We are so gonna get in trouble,” Rona shook her head in disbelief, watching Kennedy peer cautiously up and down the hallway.

“C’mon, ‘s not like they’re gonna do anything if they catch us,” Molly drawled, snapping her gum as she did so. “’Sides, gettin’ caught’s half the fun, innit?”

“Well, we’re going to get caught if you can’t keep it down!” Vi insisted in a hushed whisper.

Molly merely rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to Kennedy. “The coast clear then?” she asked.

Kennedy nodded and slunk back down the hall, sidling herself up against the Forbidden Door that led to Buffy’s room. “They’re all still cleaning the weapons,” she agreed. “We’re clear.” Her hand reached out to turn the knob…

“You sure this is a good idea?” Rona’s hand caught hers in mid-twist, halting her movements. “I mean, if it’s…y’know…in there…” She gulped slightly.

“Buffy wouldn’t ‘ve brought it in the house if it wasn’t safe,” Molly reasoned.

“Then why did she order us to keep out?” Chloe demanded.

Kennedy shrugged. “I thought I overheard Giles tell Anya that it’s hurt.”

“So, we’re gonna corner an injured vamp?” Rona demanded sarcastically. “And this doesn’t sound like a bad idea to you.”

“Buffy said this one wasn’t dangerous,” Kennedy insisted. “It’s supposed to be, like, good or something.”

“And, c’mon!” Molly exclaimed. “Aren’t you just a wee bit curious? See what all the fuss ‘s about?”

Rona bit her lip for a second before nodding and letting Kennedy’s hand go. “If it kills us, I’m gonna tell you all ‘told ya so’,” she informed them slightly nervously.

The five potential slayers each took a deep breath as Kennedy’s hand once more rested on the doorknob. They shared a five-way, anxious look before Kennedy twisted the Forbidden Doorknob and the door swung open with a slight creak.

They all froze in place, flinching at the thought that someone in the house might’ve heard the door’s opening. For a minute no one moved, and then Kennedy quickly ushered them all in, closing the door softly behind her.

She took a deep, relaxing breath when the door was safely shut behind her and gave her four partners in crime a sheepish little smile.

However, none of them were paying attention to her.

That’s a vampire?” Chloe asked breathlessly, her eyes practically bugging out of her head as she started at the bed.

“Woah baby,” Rona looked equally dumbstruck. “I mean, I was thinking ugly – like Ubervamp.”

“Rather fit, innit?” Molly licked her lips in anticipation.

“‘It’ is most definitely a ‘he’,” Rona corrected her, fighting the impulse to drool.

This entire time Kennedy’s view had been blocked by her four gaping companions. She finally managed to brush past Molly to get to the foot of the bed and saw for the first time what had the three young women stunned speechless.

Spike lay back among the pillows, the white silk sheet slung low over his hips, exposing his bare chest for their hungry gazes. Reddened lines still marred the pale ivory of his skin, but they only seemed to enhance the pure sculptured beauty of his body. His form was slim and well-defined, the smooth plains of his chest giving way to the tightest six-pack of abs that any of them had ever seen. The pale arms thrown casually against the pillows spoke of primal, muscular power.

His face was sharp with angular cheekbones, yet he also had full, luscious lips, and long dark lashes fluttered against his soft eyelids. Any hardness of expression was gentled by slumber, making him look to be a perfect angel.

Well, except for the scar on his eyebrow and the tousled peroxide blond curls. Although, at the moment, those curls didn’t seem quite so badass, but rather like they were just begging to have fingers run through them.

As they watched breathlessly, he stirred slightly in his sleep, one hand wrapping under the pillow to pull it up against him.

“Wow…” Kennedy finally breathed out. “That is definitely a man…”

She got an odd look from Molly at that.

“What?” she demanded. “Lesbian doesn’t equal blind.”

“Hell, that body’ll drive any girl straight,” Rona still stared, mesmerized at the vampire before her.

“Din’t think they got quite this nice,” Molly gulped, trying to keep her mouth from watering. “I mean, what with the fangs an’ all… But, damn, is he a gorgeous hunka meat or what?”

Vi, Chloe, and Rona all blushed, having barely managed to refrain from making similar comments themselves.

“Guess that solves the mystery of why Buffy wanted him back so bad,” Rona decided.

Vi and Chloe just nodded dumbly.

“Don’t know what her problem is.” Molly had regained her nerve now and was approaching the bed cautiously. “I had a man like that in my bed, I sure wouldn’t be cleanin’ weapons.”

“The sacrifices a slayer has to make,” Kennedy joked slightly. She frowned when Molly reached out for the bed, though. “What’re you doing?” she demanded.

“Testin’ out a rumor,” Molly replied matter-of-factly. “Vamps ‘re s’posed to be cold, right?”

Rona looked nervously at the slumbering vampire, remembering that he was a dangerous predator for the first time since her mind had been overloaded by the sight of his chest. “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she warned. “You’re gonna wake him up.”

“Nonsense,” Molly scoffed, leaning forward over the side of the bed and cautiously brushing her fingers against the hand nearest to her. She paused for a minute, making sure that he was still asleep, before she firmly rested her hand over his.

The other four potential slayers breathed out a sigh of relief when he didn’t stir.

“Well?” Rona demanded curiously. “What’s he feel like?”

Molly stroked the back of his hand lightly. “Not ‘xactly cold,” she said thoughtfully. “Just, y’know, not hot either. Kinda room temperature, I guess.” Her brow furrowed as she stared down at him, pondering her next idea.

“I guess that makes sense,” Vi said thoughtfully. “I mean, he’d be the same temperature as his surroundings…”

Molly nodded. “Hey, Kennedy?” she asked. “What’d they say his name was? Rod? Stick?”

Chloe and Vi couldn’t help but blush at the juxtaposition of those names with the half-naked man before them.

“Spike.” Kennedy rolled her eyes.

Molly gave her an unashamed grin. “Close enough,” she decided, her hand drifting down to the sheet that was bunched about his waist.

“What are you doing?!” Vi squealed.

“Checkin’ out if the name fits,” Molly said matter-of-factly.

Molly!” Kennedy reprimanded her. “You can’t at least try to restrain yourself? I mean, I know he’s a vamp, but…jeez! Have a little respect.”

“Bein’ a vamp’s got nothin’ to do with it,” Molly insisted cheerfully enough. “Stole a quick look-see at Xander last night.”

Vi blushed an even deeper red at that, and Rona gave her a suspicious look. If she didn’t know better, she’d think that Vi had a bit of a crush on the carpenter.

“Really?” Kennedy asked. “What’d you see?”

“Nothing much,” Molly pouted. “Anya caught me and demanded to know what I was doing.” Taking advantage of the brief distraction, she lifted the sheet slightly and took a peek under it.

Despite their better judgments, the other four girls all craned their necks, trying to see what Molly was looking at. She dropped the sheet before they could, however.

“So, uh…” Rona began nervously after Molly had been quiet for far too long. “The name fit?”

“He’s wearing jeans,” Molly lamented. She perked up almost instantly, however. “He’ll be trainin’ us though, right?” she asked.

“Right…” Kennedy began hesitantly.

“Plenty ‘f opportunities to find out when we get in close quarters then,” Molly decided with an irrepressible grin.

Kennedy rolled her eyes. “Desperate much?” she inquired, the strange Scooby-speech already slipping into her words.

“There’s nowhere near enough men ‘round here,” Molly declared. “Caught myself checkin’ out Giles yesterday.”

“Ew!” Vi protested. “He’s old.”

“Bet this one’s older,” Kennedy countered reasonably, gesturing to the sleeping vampire.

“Yeah, but he’s…” Chloe trailed off, embarrassed.

Hot,” Rona provided for her.

The inevitable conclusion of their persistent ogling – namely, uncontrollable snickers – immediately followed. They all covered their mouths with their hands as a juvenile fit of the giggles overtook them. Vi even fell to the ground, laughing between clenched teeth.

However, they all froze when a moan sounded from the bed. With trepidation, they turned back to the sleeping vampire and all breathed a sigh of relief when they saw that he’d just buried his head deeper into the pillow.

“So,” Molly began in a stage whisper, “you think Buffy’s bonin’ him?”

“She’d have to be crazy not to,” Rona decided.

“You saw how she was,” Kennedy couldn’t help but joined the amused gossip. “All ‘I have to kill Ubervamp and save Spike!’ And, then, the second Ubervamp’s gone, bam! ‘You all go to Xander’s for tonight; I’ve got business to take care of’…” She emphasized ‘business’ in the naughtiest way she could manage.

The other girls giggled.

“And, I mean, putting him in her bed of all places…” Vi added, gesturing to the room around them.

“Oh, yeah,” Rona agreed. “She’s got it bad.”

Molly let out a disappointed little sigh. “Another man taken,” she lamented. “Damn. Don’t s’pose there’s any chance he doesn’t feel the same way?”

As she said it, however, Spike stirred once more in his sleep. He rolled over onto his side, clutching the spare pillow to him as he curled his body around it. His unconscious mind recognized the soft scent of shampoo and vanilla, and he murmured softly against it. “Buffy…”

The slayers in training stood stunned for a second before they burst out into giggles once more.

“Guess that answers your question then,” Kennedy informed a disappointed Molly.

“Ah, well,” Molly sighed. “Maybe we’ll pick up another man soon.”

“You are so in need of a boyfriend,” Kennedy informed her.

Molly shrugged. “I’m all for it. Point one out to me.” A sly smile crossed her face. “Besides…I’m not the one hangin’ about a certain red-head all the time…”

Kennedy’s cheeks flushed at the implications of that statement. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she insisted primly.

“Yeah, right, pull the other one,” Molly retorted.

“Uh…guys?” Vi finally managed to get a word in despite Molly and Kennedy’s wordplay.

“Yeah?” Kennedy looked at her curiously.

Rona put a finger to her lips. “Shh, listen,” she instructed.

In the following silence, Molly and Kennedy finally heard what had the other girls so preoccupied. Ever since Spike had curled up against Buffy’s pillow, a deep vibrating trill had filled the room.

“Is he…?” Chloe wasn’t quite sure she could believe her ears.

“He’s purring!” Rona exclaimed. “Damn, I gotta get me one o’ these…”

“How are we supposed to slay anything that cute?” Vi mock-lamented.

Molly licked her lips and stared down at the sleeping, purring vampire on the bed. “He’s just a big, cuddly kitty-cat, innit he?”

“Make that big, fanged vampire.”

The five potential slayers all spun around comically to face the newcomer at the door. In unison, they all gulped.

Buffy desperately tried to refrain from smiling as she stepped into her room. But the way the potentials were all frozen in fear made it really hard for her to keep up her strict demeanor…although well worth it. Vi and Chloe both gulped when she crossed her arms in front of her chest in a no-nonsense manner.

“I don’t care how ‘cute’ he is,” she said sternly. “He’s a vampire and therefore dangerous. If you let your enemy’s appearance throw you off, you’re gonna get yourselves killed.”

The five all managed to hang their heads in various stages of shame.

“And I told you not to come here,” Buffy continued her lecture. “He could’ve been dangerous, and I wouldn’t have been able to save you in time.”

“We didn’t think you’d let him in if he was dangerous,” Kennedy said apologetically, taking on her usual role as group leader.

“Vampires are always dangerous,” Buffy insisted, gesturing to the open door and ushering them all out. “I don’t care how much fighting experience you’ve had,” she said sharply when she noticed Molly open her mouth to speak. “If Spike wanted to, he could snap all your necks in seconds. You’re not slayers yet,” she reminded them.

“It won’t happen again,” Kennedy promised, properly chastised.

“Good,” Buffy nodded. “Now, if you don’t mind…” A sly smile lit up her face. “…I think I’ve earned some quality snuggling time with the ‘big, cuddly kitty-cat’.” She shut the door firmly in their astonished faces, giggling at her joke.

The five potential slayers stared at the door in disbelief for a second.

“She was kidding, right?” Molly spoke up after a second.

Kennedy nodded slowly. “I think so…” she said hesitantly.

“Damn,” Rona shook her head. “Guess there’re some perks to being the slayer after all…”

Fun and random. Just couldn't resist the urge to use the only characters on the show with the common sense to ogle Spike. ~_^

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