Shar’i procedures when a wife rebels
Question:
What should a husband do if his wife rebels against him?
Praise be to Allaah.
Ibn Qudaamah said: If a man fears rebellious behaviour on the part of his wife, because she shows signs of rebellion by not responding to his requests for intimacy, or she responds but does so reluctantly, then he should warn her and advise her to fear Allaah; he should remind her of what Allaah has enjoined upon her of duties and obedience, the sin involved in what she is doing and the rights of spending and clothing that she will lose, and the fact that he is permitted to hit her and forsake her in bed, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“As to those women on whose part you see ill‑conduct, admonish them (first)”[al-Nisaa’ 4:34]
If she persists and shows signs of rebellion and refuses to share his bed, then he may forsake her in bed as much as he wishes, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“(next) refuse to share their beds”[al-Nisaa’ 4:34]
If she still persists, then he may hit her in a manner that does not cause harm, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“(and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful)”
[al-Nisaa’ 4:34]
The phrase (interpretation of the meaning):
“If you fear a breach between them twain (the man and his wife)”
[al-Nisaa’ 4:35]
means, if it is known to have reached this stage, then the judge should send an arbitrator from his family and an arbitrator from hers, both of whom should be trustworthy, to decide either to reconcile and keep them together or to separate and divorce, and whatever they do will be binding upon them. That means that if the spouses reach the point of separation or enmity, the judge should appoint two free, Muslim arbitrators of good character, preferably from their families, with their approval and appointed by them, so that they can investigate the case and do what they think is best to reconcile them or to let them divorce by talaaq or khula’. Then whatever they do will be binding upon them. The basis for this is the aayah (interpretation of the meaning]
“If you fear a breach between them twain (the man and his wife), appoint (two) arbitrators, one from his family and the other from hers; if they both wish for peace, Allaah will cause their reconciliation”
[al-Nisaa’ 4:35]
al-‘Iddah fi Sharh al-‘Umdah by Ibn Quddaamah al-Maqdisi, p. 481 (www.islam-qa.com)
Conditions for plural marriage
Question:
on what conditions is it allowed for a muslim to marry more than one wife?
Praise be to Allaah.
Marrying more than one wife is a matter which is recommended, subject to certain conditions: that the man be financially and physically able for it, and that he be able to treat his wives justly.
Plural marriage brings a lot of benefits, including protecting the chastity of the women whom he marries, bringing people closer together, and producing a lot of children. This is what the Prophet [an error occurred while processing this directive] (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) referred to when he said: “Marry the one who is loving and fertile”. And it serves a lot of other purposes. But for a man to marry more than one wife by way of boasting and taking that as a challenge to prove himself, this is a form of extravagance and extravagance is forbidden. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“and waste not by extravagance. Verily, He likes not al-musrifoon (those who waste by extravagance)”[al-An’aam 6:141]
Fataawa al-Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, from Kitaab Fataawa Islamiyyah, vol. 3, p. 205. (www.islam-qa.com)
A woman refusing to have intercourse with her husband
Question:
If wife deos not allow his husband to have intercourse than what will
happen to women.
1.Women will be divorced.
2.Man should give her divorce.
3.Man should marriage someone else.
4.Others.
Praise be to Allaah.
If a woman refuses her husband’s request to come to bed with no Islamically-sound reason (such as sickness, or his being drunk, for example), what happens is as described below:
Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘If a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses [and does not come], and he spends the night angry with her, the angels will curse her until morning.’”
(Reported by al-Bukhaari, 4794; the additional phrase quoted in square brackets is from Abu Dawood, al-Sunan, Kitaab al-Nikaah, Bab haqq al-zawj ‘ala’l-mar’ah).In the phrase “if a man calls his wife to his bed,” the word “bed” is obviously a metaphor for intercourse. Metaphors are used in the Qur’aan and Sunnah to refer to things about which people usually feel shy. Does this apply only to the nighttime, or does it include daytime too? The answer may be found in a hadeeth narrated by Muslim: “By the One in Whose hand is my soul, there is no man who calls his wife to his bed and she refuses, but the One Who is above the heavens [i.e. Allaah] will be angry with her, until he (her husband) is pleased with her.” Ibn Khuzaymah and Ibn Hibbaan report a hadeeth narrated by Jaabir: “There are three whose prayers will not be accepted and none of whose good deeds will ascend to heaven: a runaway slave, until he returns to his master; a drunken man until he becomes sober; and a woman with whom her husband is angry, until he is pleased with her.” These are general terms, which include both night and day.
The phrase “and he spends the night angry with her” refers to the cause of the angels’ curse, because this confirms that she is a sinner, which is a different matter than if he accepts her excuse and is not angry with her, or lets the matter drop. Is she to blame if he keeps her away from his bed? The answer is: no, unless she is the one who started the separation and he is keeping away from her because of it, and she did not apologize but prolonged the separation. But if he is the one who started it, and is thus treating her unfairly, then she is not to blame. In one report, instead of the words “the angels curse her until morning,” the wording is “… until she returns” – and this is a useful variant.
This hadeeth tells us that denying a spouse’s rights – whether physical or financial – is something that will inevitably bring about the wrath of Allaah, unless Allaah grants His mercy to the sinner.
We also learn that the angels will pray against a sinner so long as he or she persists in the sin.
The hadeeth also directs a wife to help her husband and seek his satisfaction, because a man is less patient than a woman when it comes to doing without intercourse. The most disturbing thing for a man is his sexual impulse, so Islam urges women to help their husbands in this regard.
(Adapted and abbreviated from the commentary by al-Haafiz Ibn Hijr – may Allaah have mercy on him – on this hadeeth in Fath al-Baari).Whether the husband wants to discipline his wife, or forgive her, or take another wife, or divorce her, this is all up to him to choose. Let the woman beware of incurring her husband’s wrath because this will lead to Allaah’s being angry with her.
We ask Allaah to rectify this situation. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.
Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)
Ban on muslim women marrying kafir (unbeliever)
Question:
Can a non-muslim man marry a muslim woman?
It is absolutely not permissible under any circumstances in Islamic law (shari'a) of Allah, the most esteemed and exhalted, for a non-Muslim to marry a Muslim woman, as per what He has said regarding the marriage of a kafir (unbeliever) to a Muslim woman and vice versa: (interpretation of the meaning).
They are not lawful (wives) for the unbelievers, nor are the unbelievers lawful (husbands) for them... (Al-Mumtahina:10)
And Allah the most esteemed and exhalted has also said (interpretation of the meaning):
Nor marry (your girls) to unbelievers until they believe... (Al-Baqara:221)
i.e., it is not ever permissable for someone to marry his Muslim daughter or sister or any Muslim woman for whom he is a guardian to a kafir.
Islam must be exhalted and cannot be subjugated, so how could a Muslim woman be put under the care of a kafir man, when the man is normally naturally in a stronger position? In such a situation he could cause her to corrupt the practice of her religion or force her into subdual by causing her to live a life of oppression with him. He could also prevent her from practicing some of her religious rites. These are among the reasons for the aforementioned ban expressed in the previous ayaat. wallahu a'lam (and Allah is the most knowledgable).
Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)
Muslim women marrying non-Muslim men in the hope that they may become Muslim
What is the ruling on a Muslim woman
marrying a non-Muslim man, especially when she hopes that he will become Muslim after
marriage? Many Muslim women claim that they cannot find suitable Muslim men, and that they
are faced with the threat of having to commit sin or live in extremely straitened
circumstances.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
It is forbidden for Muslim women to marry non-Muslim men, according to the Qur’aan, the Sunnah and the consensus of the scholars (ijmaa’) (see question # 689) . If such a marriage takes place, it is invalid, it does not have any impact upon inheritances according to sharee’ah, and any children born from this union are illegitimate. Hoping that the husband may become Muslim does not alter this ruling in the slightest.
Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)
Married to a man who neglects the prayer: what should she do?
Asalama calaykum warahmatullah
I am marreid to a man who is TARIKU salaat
I mean he neglects the salaat. when I marreid him i was like him, Alhamdulillah ALLAH has
guided me, now I am a practising muslimah. but the problem is him, every salaat he is
preying is like I am forcing him, I treid every thing but nothing is working, same people
said you have to leave him but it isn't easy I have three childern with him, and he is
good father and husband. The problem between us is the DEEN. Please what shoul I do.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
We put the following question to Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen:
I am married to a man who neglects his prayer. Allaah has guided me and I insisted that he should pray, so he started to pray as if he was forced to do so. He has clearly told me, “I am only praying because of you.” Is it permissible for me to stay with him or not?
The shaykh – may Allaah preserve him – answered as follows:
If the marriage contract was made at the time when he was not praying, then it is not valid, and if this is the case then she has to keep away from him. If he becomes Muslim, the contract is renewed, and if he does not become Muslim, then Allaah will send her a Muslim man who is better than him.
Question:
If she got married to him when she too was not praying, and he was not praying, does this make the marriage null and void?
Answer:
If they were following a certain religion, then the marriage remains valid, but if they were not following any religion and were murtadd (apostates), then many of the scholars say that the marriage of apostates is not valid, because they are not following any religion, neither Islam nor the religion from which they apostatized.
Question:
If the husband who is praying clearly tells his wife that he is praying only for her sake, is that sufficient to count him as a murtadd (apostate), or should she go by what she sees, which is that he is praying?
Answer:
It seems to me that he is praying to Allaah to please her. This does not means that his whole prayer, the standing, bowing, prostrating and du’aa’, is directed towards her. He is praying to Allaah to please her, and that does not make him a mushrik. And Allaah knows best.
Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)
Why is it forbidden for a woman to have multiple husbands at one time?
Why are women not allowed to have 3 or 4 husbands but men can have 3 or 4 wives?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
This is connected primarily to faith in Allaah. All religions are agreed that it is not permissible for a woman to have intercourse with anyone except her husband. Among these religions are those which are undoubtedly of heavenly origin, such as Islam and the original versions of Judaism and Christianity. Belief in Allaah dictates submission to His rulings and laws, for Allaah is All-Wise and All-Knowing, He knows what is in the best interests of mankind. So we may understand the wisdom behind the ruling of sharee’ah, or we may not be able to grasp it.
With regard to the permissibility of multiple spouses for men and its prohibition for women, there are several issues which are obvious to every intelligent person. Allaah has made woman like a vessel, but man is not like that. If a woman becomes pregnant (when she has had intercourse with a number of men at one time), the father can never be known. People’s lines of descent and lineage will be mixed up, families will be destroyed and children will be lost. Women will be burdened with so many children that they will be unable to bring them up and spend on their maintenance. Maybe women would find themselves forced to sterilize themselves, which would lead to the extinction of the human race. Moreover it is medically proven now that one of the major causes of the serious diseases which have become widespread, such as AIDS etc., is women having intercourse with more than one man, and the mixing of seminal fluids in the woman’s womb causes these lethal diseases. Hence Allaah has prescribed a waiting period (‘iddah) for a woman who has been divorced or whose husband has died, until enough time has passed for her womb and passages to be cleansed of any traces of her former husband, and the monthly period also has a role to play in this matter. Perhaps these brief pointers will dispense with the need for a lengthy discussion. If the purpose of the question is research for a university or other assignment, he may refer to the books which have been written on the topic of plural marriage (polygyny) and the wisdom behind it. And Allaah is the Source of strength.
Shaykh Sa’d al-Humayd (www.islam-qa.com)
a fiance to be alone with his fiancee
I live in the US alone my parents back in my country resently one muslim brother proposed me marriage, but the problem is thet he also doesn't have anyone in the US So, he sais that we should know each other before marriage or engagement, and he insists on talking to me.
I heared that wile seeing each other the third person from the family should be there, or at least the third person should be there. Is that true?
And what if I talk to him alone, would it be considering zina?
Answer: