DISOBEYING THE PARENTS IS A GRAVE MATTER

by Summayyah bint Joan

Mughairah bin Shu'bah relates that the Prophet, (PBUH) once said, "Be sure that Allah has forbidden you to disobey your mothers, to be miserly and greedy, and infanticide (burying the new born daughters alive.) And He dislikes you to be talkative and too inquisitive and to waste your belongings."

It also implies that we should take extreme care of the sentiments, habits, temperament and likes and dislikes of mothers. We should not even imagine being rude and disobedient to her. By serving and obeying our mothers we can be sure of earning the favor of Almighty Allah.

The extent of sufferings resulting from disobedience to mothers can be seen from the following hadeeth:

Once, when the Prophet(PBUH) was talking to his companions a man came and addressed him, "O Messenger of Allah ! A young man is breathing his last. People are asking him to recite Shahadah but he is unable to do so." The Prophet(PBUH) asked, "Did this man offer salah (during his life)?" The answer was yes. Then he accompanied the man to the house of the dying young man along with others present at the time. The man was at the end of his life's journey. The Messenger of Allah advised him to offer the Shahadah. The m an replied that he was unable to do so as the words would not come out of his mouth. He (PBUH) then called for the mother of the dying man whom he had disobeyed persistently. When his aged mother approached the scene, the Prophet (PBUH) asked, 'Respected lady, is he your son?" She replied yes. He then asked her a question, "O respected lady, if we threaten to throw your son into a raging fire, would you recommend him to be forgiven?" The lady replied that she would definitely do so at that time. The Prophet(PBUH) then said to her, "If so, declare, making Allah and me your witnesses, that you are mow pleased with him." The old woman readily declared, "O Allah, you and your Messenger be my witness that I am pleased with this beloved son of mine."

Just after that, the Prophet (PBUH) turned to the dying man and asked him to recite, "There is no god but Allah, He is the One and has no partners and I witness that Muhammad is His Servant and Messenger." By the virtue of the forgiveness of his mother, he found the words flowing out of his mouth and he recited the Shahadah. Seeing this, the Prophet (PBUH) praised Almighty Allah and thanked Him saying, "Thanks to Almighty Allah that He saved this man from the fearful fire of Hell through me." (Tabarani and Ahmad). Acknowledging the great favor of the parents is central to our success in being right with them, as they are the cause of our existence. It will enable us to see ihsan towards the parents as a sign of a healthy, natural disposition.

Unfortunately, sometimes this disposition gets distorted and people start viewing their own existence with resentment. Consequently, they blame their parents for bringing them into this world or that they may not be living at the ease and joy they think they deserve. Human beings existence is due to Allah and to Him alone, for He wills who will be one's parents, where one will be born, the time of birth and what sustenance will he receive. Our parents have done us a great favor, our Creator has told us not to even show them signs of discontent if they did something we did not like or were wrong about anything. But to pay back their favor by being loving, kind and dutiful to them is the absolute minimum that all us have to do.

So let us Muslims not adapt the attitudes of the popular culture in which we find ourselves, where mothers are nothing more than serving girls and fathers nothing more than errand boys. We must combat what the television and society say about how parents should be treated, by sharing with our children what Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, and His Messenger, sallallaahu alayhe wa sallam, have said about the rights of parents. and most importantly, we must teach them by setting the best example; by treating our parents with the love, respect, honor and tenderness they deserve. Children imitate what they see, by us being good to our parents, we can hope that our children imitate what they see, by us being good to our parents, we can hope that our children will in turn be good to us.