The Funniest Compilation of Mexican Jokes Ever!
There were three guys, an American, a Canadian, and a Mexican. They had been travelling for days and were very, hungry. They came across a farm that had hundreds of fruits. While they were eating, the farmer came out and caught them.
The farmer said, "Since I'm in a good mood today, I won't kill you... If you stuff 100 of your favorite fruit up your a** without laughing.
The American was up first. He chose cherries as his favorite fruit. He got up to 78 and burst out laghing. So the farmer shot him with a shotgun.
The Canadian was next and chose grapes. He got up to 92 but started laughing so the farmer killed him too.
When the Canadian and the American arrived up in heaven, an angel asked them why they laughed.
They both replied, "We saw the Mexican with watermelons."
A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says "Sorry, you know the law, you've got to go back across the border right now." The mexican man pleads with them, "No, noooo Senior, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!" The Border Patrol Agent thinks to himself, I'm going to make it hard for him and says "Ok, I'll let you stay if you can use 3 english words in a sentence". The Mexican man of course agrees. The Border Patrol Agent tells him, "The 3 words are: Green, Pink and Yellow. Now use them in 1 sentence." The Mexican man thinks really hard for about 2 minutes, then says, "Hmmm, Ok. The phone, it went Green, Green, Green, I Pink it up and sez Yellow?"
Why do Mexicans re-fry their beans? Have you seen a Mexican do anything right the first time?
Why do Mexicans eat Tomales for Christmas? So they have something to unwrap
An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says " We're having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump, at least one of you can survive" The four open the door and look out below. The Englishman takes a deep breath and hollers "God Save The Queen" and jumps. The Frenchman gets really inspired and hollers "Viva La France" and he also jumps. This really pumps up the Texan so he hollers "Remember the Alamo" and he grabs the Mexican and throws him out of the plane.
Two guys are bungee-jumping one day. The first guy says to the second. "You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico." The second guy thinks this is a great idea, so the two pool their money and buy everything they'll need - a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc. They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work. The first guy jumps. He bounces at the end of the cord, but when he comes back up, the second guy notices that he has a few cuts and scratches. Unfortunately, the second guy isn't able catch him, he falls again, bounces and comes back up again. This time, he is bruised and bleeding. Again, the second guy misses him. The first guy falls again and bounces back up. This time, he comes back pretty messed up - he's got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious. Luckily, the second guy finally catches him this time and says, "What happened? Was the cord too long?" The first guy says, "No, the cord was fine, but what the heck is a 'pinata'?"
Why doesnt mexico have a olympic team? Because everyone that can run, jump, and swim is already across the border!
There is an American, a German, and a Mexican.
There was a German, an American, and a Mexican.
HOW MANY COPS DOES IT TAKE TO ARREST A MEXICAN? 4, 1 TO HOLD THE MEXICAN, AND 3 TO HOLD THE ORANGES.
WHY DONT YOU THROW A ROCK AT A MEXICAN ON A BIKE? BECAUSE ITS PROBABLY YOUR BIKE.
WHAT DO YOU CALL 5 WHITE GUYS PUSHING A CAR DOWN THE ROAD? WHITE POWER. " 5 BLACK GUYS PUSHING A CAR DOWN THE ROAD? BLACK POWER. " 5 MEXICANS-GRAND THEFT AUTO. WHY IS THE AVERAGE AGE OF THE MEXICAN ARMY 40? BECAUSE THEY TAKE 'EM RIGHT OUT OF HIGHSCHOOL
WHY DO MEXICAN CARS HAVE SUCH SMALL STEERING WHEELS? SO THEY CAN DRIVE WITH HANDCUFFS ON
WHAT DO YOU CALL A TACO WITH A FOODSTAMP INSIDE IT? A MEXICAN FORTUNE COOKIE.
WHAT DO YOU CALL A MEXICAN WITHOUT A LAWNMOWER? UNEMPLOYED.
WHAT DO YOU CALL A BUILDING FULL OF MEXICANS? JAIL.
Why do Mexicans Drive Lowriders? So they can cruise and pick lettuce at the same time.
Why do Mexicans put hydralics on their low-riders?
Why do mexicans stink?
What's the most confusing day in Mexico?
Why do mexicans wear sombreros?
Q: Did you
hear about the 2 Mexicans on 'That's Incredible'?
Q: Have you heard
about the new African-Mexican restaurant?
Q. What do you get
when you cross a Mexican and an Octopus?
Q: If a bunch of white
guys running down a hill is an avalanche, and a bunch of black guys running
down a hill is a mudslide, what do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down
Q: What do a Mexican
and a cue ball have in common?
Q: What's the slowest
thing in the world?
Q: How did the Mexican
woman loose 20 pounds in one day?
Q: Why did the
Mexicans fight so hard to take the Alamo?
Q: Why do seagulls fly
upside down in Mexico?
: Did you hear they
came out with a new Selena doll?
Q: How did the Mexican
midget commit suicide?
Q: What's the
difference between Scotch tape and Mexican tape?
Lie Detector Test
Igor, a Russian,
Helmut, a German, and Juan, a Mexican were walking down the street one day.
As they approached a busy intersections, they noticed a machine set up near
the busy intersection. On the side of the machine, read the following
The sheriff arrived at
the scene of the horrible accident just as his deputy was climbing down from
the controls of a
A guy goes
into a Texas bar all dejected, and orders a drink. The barkeep says, "Here,
you look down. It's on the house if you'll tell me your story."
Do You Know the Criminal
This site was last updated 11/12/02