A Visit From Krypto Charcters: The Factory Workers Russell Mack Jim Lou Frank The Alien Being Krypto Stage Setting: An open area in a factory. Script (The antagonistic workers enter and approach Russell who at first has his back to them.) Mack (boisteriously): Hey dork! (Russell slowly turns) Yea, I'm talkin to you, moron. (Swaggering) It's bad enough that you Christians are hypocrits, but you're all a buncha lying cheats too. This radio preacher was milkin' my Grandma for years, and when she died -- what did I get from her? Practically nothin. Can ya believe it, me being her own flesh and blood? She was always complaining about how I was wastin my money on cigarettes and booze. Well, what about her? Giving all this money to some bleeding hearts she never even met. It just ain't right I'm telling ya! There should be a law against that! Russell: Mack, can't you see there are people in need all around. Maybe your Grandmother was genuinely concerned, and this was her way of helping. One responsibility that God has given to the church is to give, so that others can be blessed and won to Christ. Mack: Ahhh, you're as crazy as she was. Everybody knows those radio preachers use all that money they get to buy mansions and fleets of expensive cars. Hey, I am family. I should be given first consideration over the church and God. Russell: I'm sure she cared about you, Mack. But if your Grandmother was a true born-again Christian, her first consideration would be to God, because every Christian belongs to Him. Mack: When are you going to wise up, Russell? The old woman was duped with all that pie-in-the-sky talk. I'm telling ya, all preachers are nothin but a bunch a con-men in three piece suits! Aren't they, boys? (A chorus of snide remarks. An eerie whistling sound is heard. All Characters look in direction where Krypto will enter. The sound ends with a crash and sound of broken glass. Krypto enters brushing debris off "it's" uniform. Krypto notices the factory workers and approaches them.) Krypto (nasal sounding): Excuse me, but I seem to have landed upon one of your earth roving vehicles. (The men are in shock from the sight of this strange looking creature) Oh dear, I must have said it wrong. Ahhh, I remember. The insignia on the vehicle said Viper. (To men) Excuse me, I just landed outside of this building and destroyed one of your Vipers. (Pleased to say it right) Lou (lunges): You destroyed my Viper! I'll kill you, man! Mack (holding back Lou): Hey! Hey! Are you crazy! Lou: Let me at him. I'll kill him! Mack: That's an alien being. There's no telling what it can do. Lou: You know how much I paid for that car? Mack: I know, be cool! Let me talk to him first. Okay? (Lou nods, then steps back. Mack swaggers closer to Krypto.) Mack: You know you got my friend riled up. Krypto: Riled ... up? Mack: Yea, riled ... upset? (Krypto is puzzled. Mack looks back to buddies and gives a "look at stupid here" expression.) What's the matter, don't you know when someone's mad at you? Krypto: Mad? Mack: Yea, mad, as in angry -- Sheee. Krypto: Ohhhh, I think I understand now. This human was displaying hostilities towards me. Mack: Yea, whatja think? Krypto: I was confused because his actions were quite simular to the mating dance of the "Orange Feathered Twidledee", and it's considered quite rude to interrupt. Mack: Are you as dumb as you look? You just destroyed a sixty thousand dollar car! Krypto: I can assure you that it was an accident. (Speaks out to audience) The parking around here is just terrible. Mack: Never mind that. Tell me who you are and where do you come from? Krypto: I thought you would never ask. My name is Krypto. I come from Alpha Sentaurio which is located in the Gamma-Alpha-Beta System. Jim: That's that fraternity house on Clark Street. Mack: Jim, just when I was beginning to think that maybe, just maybe, you might be getting alittle smarts up there, (Referring to JIM'S head) you go and say something totally stupid! (Referring to KRYPTO) You can see that it ain't human. Jim (shrugs): Maybe it's a freshman. (Mack gestures like he's going to give JIM the back of his hand.) Mack: A freshman.... Krypto: My home planet is in a distant galaxy. Mack: Yea, so whata ya doing here? Krypto: I have been commissioned to study your planet, particularly you humans. Can I assume that you five are a sampling of normal human types? Mack: Yea sure, we're just a bunch of regular guys here. Jim: Except for the "reverend". Lou: Yea, he's a fanatical freak. Frank: A real oddball. Krypto: Oddball? Mack: Yea, he's weird alright. (Notices that Krypto is confused.) As in different. Krypto (with great interest): This one is different? Why that's wonderful! I was hoping to study some aberrational mutations. In what way is this one inferior to you four? Mack: Well ... he has strange ideas about things. Frank: And he doesn't like to do things that we like to do. Lou: Yea. Mack: Right! Krypto: Now, let me see if I fully understand. You four are normal, or as you say, regular guys. While this human here is abnormal, or as you say weird. Lou: You can say that again. Krypto: I will repeat. You are all normal, while this one is weird? Mack (gruffly): That's right, he's weird. (To fellows) He's not the only one.... (While Mack's head is turned Krypto moves very close to him. When Mack turns back he is startled.) Krypto (with index finger to his mouth): Shhh, let us try not to alarm him. Mack: What? Krypto: Can he understand us? Mack: Who? Krypto: The weird one. Mack: Yea, sure. Krypto: (comically waves hand and smiles): Helloooooo. Russell: Hi. Krypto: Hmm. He responds correctly to the universal greeting gesture. I'm afraid I'll have to subject you all to a Spectral Ray Analysis. (KRYPTO points an odd looking hand-held instrument toward the others.) Frank: Look out he has a laser! Krypto: No, this is not a weapon. My spectral analyzer merely takes physio-phychological, cosmic, and atmospheric measurements, (Out to the audience) as well as updates on the latest ballgame scores back home. (To factory guys) Here, allow me demonstrate. (Beep. All the factory guys freeze at once, holding blank expressions on each face. Krypto examines instrument which is now pointing at Mack.) Krypto: Why is your liver functioning so poorly? Mack (speaking with no emotion): Because I drink a lot of alcohol. Krypto: Why? Mack: So I can have a good time. Krypto: But you are killing yourself. Mack: Having a good time is more important to me than having good health. Krypto (examines instrument): Mmmm, a good time, lets see. Your memory cells tell me that last night you had a fight with your best friend at a wedding reception because you tried to seduce his girl, then later you tossed your cookies in your bed. Mack (lifeless): Yes ... last night I had a real good time. (Krypto becomes increasingly more perplexed. Moves to Lou.) Krypto: And you, are also killing yourself. Lou: I drink a lot, and I also take drugs. Krypto: For what purpose? Lou: So that I can have a better time than Mack. Krypto (studies instrument): This is most interesting. I can see now that there is a deeper underlying motive for this behavior. My analyzer almost did not detect it. You have lied to yourself for so long that you are almost convinced that what you say is true. Am I correct? (Lou slowly shakes head affirmatively. Krypto analyzes Jim.) Krypto: Your pleasure seeking, is also a form of escape. Tell me, what do you feel? Jim (cheerful): I feel fine. Krypto (another adjustment): What do you really feel? Jim (somber): I am empty ... lonely ... and afraid. Krypto: Fear! Yes, that's it! All of this deceit, is contrived to conceal your hidden fears. (Krypto analyzes Frank) Krypto: Tell me, from the most secret place in your mind: What is it you fear most? Frank: I ... I fear ... death.... Krypto: Interesting. (Krypto analyzes Russell) Krypto: They were truthful about one thing, this one is different. I'm getting so many positive readings here. (Clinically) He does have inner conflicts, but there is a peace. (Getting more excited with findings) What is this source of strength? There is great joy. Marvelous! And the fear of death is not seen on my scanner, but rather a strong hope! (With wonder) You are different. You are a whole man. Russell: I used to be like the others, a deceiver, and being deceived. But when I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior, and asked Him to forgive me for my sins, then God changed me, and made me into what I am now, a new man. Krypto (awestruck): Amazing! This is more important than I have ever dreamed. You say that you know God personally? Russell: Yes. Krypto (toward the audience): Wow. (Krypto steps back and points scanner at group of men. When scanner beeps, all men respond at once as if they awoke from a dream.) Lou: Hey, what are you trying to pull here! Mack: You have no right to look into our minds! Russell: Nothing is ever really hidden. Mack: Shut up Russell! Listen you little creep, I have a good mind to rip your antennas off. Krypto (amused): You have a good mind. Oh, you humans are proned to making such good jokes. Like the one about Russell being weird, that is a good one, you really had me going there for a minute. Mack: Well, he is weird, and so are you, creep. Krypto (to the audience): And Alpha Sentauro doesn't have fifty-one moons. Mack (getting very angry): Listen, you little squirt, I don't like being laughed at! You tell me right now what's so funny before I break your scrawny little neck! Krypto: Your jokes are amusing, but you cannot fool my spectral analyzer. With you four there is no inner joy or peace, and all these negative readings are the results of ill effects to your minds and bodies. Russell, perhaps may not be what you would define as a regular guy, but with him my analyzer readings were very positive. So you see, Russell is not weird, it's really you who are weird. Mack: That's it! I'm going to beat your brains--- (Mack lunges at Krypto who casually raises analyzer freezing Mack, Jim, Lou, and Frank.) Krypto: Well, I must depart now, or as you humans would say, (Out to audience) "chow baby, it's been real." My survey has been most enlightening. Please walk with me back to my ship, Russell, and tell me in detail the events that transpired to cause such a wonderful change in your life. You mentioned someone named Jesus, who is he? Russell: Jesus is God's own Son who came down from Heaven to live as a man. After he died, he was raised from the dead, where he now sits upon heavens throne. He has provided the only way of salvation for man. Anyone who believes in Him will not die, but live forever with Him. (Krypto halts and looks at Russell with great interest.) Krypto: You say God came here to Earth to live. Why, this is the most fantastic thing I've ever heard. How truly fortunate you humans really are! And anyone can have the peace and joy that you have experienced? Russell: Yes, anyone. (Looks at other men) What about them? (Krypto points Analyzer at the factory workers and they immediately mime conversation.) Krypto: Would it be silly for me to ask why those bozos don't have Jesus? They are so full of hopelessness and turmoil. (The factory guys are now heard.) Mack: So when I came to, it was morning, and there I was lying in the garbage dumpster behind Joe's Bar with a rotten tomato smashed on my head, the juice was dripping down my face! (Laughs) Lou: Nothing like tomato juice for a hangover first thing in the morning! Jim: Dude, you really tied one on! (Factory guys go back to miming conversation.) Russell: Why don't they accept Jesus and share my joy? It's not a silly question, Krypto. (Pause, looks at others) In fact, I ask that question many times myself. (Freeze)