Your Number's Up



Characters:

Guy, a teen-aged boy

Girl, a teen-aged girl

Mediator, a concerned friend


Stage Setting:

The action takes place on the street.

Script

(Guy and Girl in the middle of an arguement. The Mediator enters.)

Guy: Well, if that's the way you feel about it, your highness....

Girl: Your highness? You should talk! You're the one who's always insisting that we do things your
way.

Mediator: Hold it, hold it, are you two fighting again?

Guy: We wouldn't be fighting if she would be a little more reasonable.

Girl: Go ahead and leave without me. I don't need this kind of aggravation.

Guy: That's fine with me!

Mediator (interceding): Come on now you two, you're suppose to be friends. 

Guy: Friends -- are suppose to be reasonable, not unreasonable.

Girl: It shouldn't be so unreasonable to expect a guy to respect a girl's feelings.

Mediator: She's right. We should all respect one anothers feelings. Look, I think I may have a remedy to
this problem. I read about it in McCall's last week. 

Guy: McCall's? What's a McCall?

Girl: It's a magazine. 

Mediator: It had a really good article written by a leading psychologist, about resolving conflicts. He says
that it's unhealthy to deal with conflicts directly. Using a passive technique works much better.

Girl: How does it work?

Mediator: Well, when you find yourself heading for a disgreement, instead of using harsh, negative words,
you should express your emotions in a non-threatening way by assigning a numerical value
between one and ten.

Guy: Huh?

Girl: I don't get it.

Mediator: Well, let's say you just started a disagreement and you feel very strongly in favor of something.
In this case, you would simply assign a high value to your feeling, say an eight or a nine. If you
strongly oppose the idea, then you would give it a low value, such as a two, or a three.

Guy: I can see it now. All we'll do from now aon is talk in numbers.

Mediator: No you won't. This technique will help diffuse the situation so that you two will be able to open
up to a more constructive conversations.

Guy: I don't know about this.

Girl: Well, you won't know until you try.

Guy (resigning): All right. 

Girl: Okay then, what about the movie?

Guy: What about it?

Girl (exasperated): How do you feel about it?

Guy: You know how I feel about it.

Mediator: Give a numerical value.

Guy: Alright ... (Thinks) Aaaah, It depends.

Girl: It depends doesn't count. (To Mediator) Doesn't it?

Mediator: No, you must give it a numerical value.

Guy: Well, it does depend. If you want me to go see the movie that you want to see then it's a definite
two. If you're talking about going to see the movie that I want to see, then I'll give it a solid nine.
If you still insist on seeing your crummy two point movie but are willing to eat at the restaurant
where I want to go, then I may be persuaded to bump my original two number up to a four.

Girl: A four! -- Only a four!

Guy: Well, maybe a five, if you pay the bill -- but that's as high as I go! 

Girl: You are so selfish!

Guy: What's so selfish about expressing my numbers in an open and meaningful way, besides you
know how much I hate syrupy romance movies.

Girl: How about a seven, or at least a six and a half. 

Guy: Nope. Five is as high as I'll go, and all bets are off if Tammy comes along -- and that's final.

Girl: I have to watch my sister tonight.

Guy: Then you go with your sister, and I'll go by myself, and we'll both have a zero time. 

Girl: Well my score will be higher than yours because I won't be alone.

Guy: Well I'd rather be saving the world with Arnold Schwarzenegger, then trying to salvage an
evening with your goofy little sister.

Girl: That's enough! One more derogatory remark about my sister and I'll give you a five. (Brandishing
a fist)

Guy: I can't deal with this. I have to go or I'm going to be late for the show.

(The Guy exits.)

Girl: Some friend you are! 

Mediator: I'm so sorry. Can we talk later? -- I'll call.

Girl: Don't bother. I'm going with an unlisted number from now on -- thank you very much!

(Girl exits, Mediator draws a deep sigh)

Mediator (toward the audience): I'm afraid I just scored a minus two.

(Backout)