untittled

I want it gone, that old aching feeling.
The one in my heart, in my soul.
That tears me apart inside.
Every time I take a breath.
Every time I open my mouth to speak.
When I stand there and look around
and see other faces looking at me.
That tears me apart inside.
From the words they say.
It makes me think, makes me rethink.
What is true? What is real?
That tears me apart inside.
If they tell me these things
which make me feel this way...
Why do I still half believe them?
Because they are the ones
you're supposed to listen to!
And I do and yet everyone else
says they're wrong.
The ones who're "always right"
can't be wrong, can they?
That tears me apart inside, too.

August 22, 2002
~Josie Kusner