Suicidal Delimma


Acidy taste upon your lips
swaying back and forth
and sometimes no matter what you do
your soul starts to slip
but only your hands can save it gracefully
and show it that it belongs
reaching inside and pulling out
you search yourself 'till you have no doubt
troubles will come,
but don't let them stay
because before long
they will sink in
and cause you dismay
abruptly you ask-
what is it all about
let me show you how it feels,
if only you show me not to doubt
but you can't make that person feel something
that you don't know

I shout.

Delirious eyes and perfect hips
too strong to handle?
If not, you'll change your mind after a taste
of these soft tender lips
reaching inside and pulling out
raging against the machine
it's okay, you'll learn to live "inside-out"

You shout.

You die trying to stay alive
and cross the lines of life and death
when troubles are at your throat
Be strong,
and don't forget to rip up that suicide note
don't waste that lovely life
in the depths of your sorrow
if you kill yourself
you have to remember
there's no way you'll be able to see me this December.

(or see each and every setting sun and know it's almost time for dinner
or see the birds in the sky and watch as they fly by
always in a rush,
but seem to stop before they hit the dust
or when you said you cared and wanted to know
if she was going to treat you fair
or when you showed me your scars and
bestowed the stores that lie behind those scars
no matter how much so they seemed bizare
the one that gave you and made your heart have bars
yes, I remember
but tell me where you are this Decemember)

Somebody swore to be there
Somebody swore to care
looks like they've deserted you now
do you call this being fair?

But I'm dead now
this is only the echo of my voice
I hope when you dream in slumber
you live in fear and have no choice
I hope you feel my finger tips wrap around your throat
as you clutch and beg to breathe
and maybe if it hurts enough-
you'll clasp my sleeve
and beg to be let go
you might think I'm being evil, but it's only what I believe

You deserted me
and now the price is high
I gave you many opportunities
but you let them drift right by
I gave you so many chances
didn't I, didn't I?


-Sara Hamlin