Chorus:
Ivanova got run over by a Vorlon,
Walking home from our house Christmas Eve,
You can say there's no such thing as First Ones,
But as for me and Marcus, we believe.

She'd been drinking too much wodka,
And we begged her not to go,
But she forgot to sign her contract,
So she staggered out into the Zocalo.

When we found her Christmas morning,
At the scene of the attack,
There were flashburns on her forehead,
And incriminating Kosh marks on her back.

Chorus
Now, we're all so proud of Marcus,
He was never one to moon,
you can hear him in the rec room
Practicing Minbari pike with Aelit Neroon.

It's not Christmas without Susan,
All the PsyCorp's dressed in black,
And we just can't help but wonder,
Should we open up her gifts or send them back?

Chorus

Now the Flarn is on the table,
And the Grog shipped in from Down,
And the glossy purple candles
That would just have matched the silk in Susan's gown.

I warned all the alien ambassadors,
Better watch out for yourselves!
They should never give a license
To a man who drives a squid and wears a shell.

Chorus

Sing it, Marcus!

Marcus: Ivanova got run over by a Vorlon -- and when I catch up to him, I'll rip him a new -- whatever Vorlons have!

Chorus

Keepers Roasting on an Open Fire

Keepers roasting on an open fire
Sebastian ripping at your nose
Pak'Ma'Ra carols being sung by a Vree
And Cartasia dressed up in women's clothes

Garabaldi knows
A bagna and some nuclear bombs
Will help to make the Shadows bright
Tiny Lyta with her eyes all aglow
Will find it hard to teep tonight

She knows that Bester's on his way
He's bringing lots of mis-
And disinformation on his sleigh
And every Drazi's child is gonna spy
To see if shipping is destroyed
By Centauri

And so I'm offering this simple phrase
To kids from 1 to 142
Though it's been said, many times many ways
Zooty, zoot zoot to you

Drench Us All with Old Bravari

Drench us all with old Bravari
Naranek a Kosh, and Ulkesh too
Triluminate the Minabari
Take a piece of flarn, and age some spoo
Don we now our Ranger leather
Epsilon, Procyon, Ragesh II
Zip, then fasten all together
Last best hope for peace
And sing whoo hoo!

Have a Flarny, Narny Christmas

Have a Flarny, Narny Christmas
It's the best time of the year
Say 'Woo Hoo' to lots of spoo
And wave at little Vir

Have a Flarny, Narny Christmas
And as you walk down the street
Say 'Hail Booji' to friends you know
And everyone you meet.

Hacuna metata, the Bester piniata
Hung where you can see
Somebody hands you a pole
Smack him one two three!

Have a Flarny, Narny Christmas
And in case you didn't hear
Oh by Barney have a flarny, Narny Christmas
This year!