hello peoplez... the jokes i have here are pretty funny... er.. of course they're funny, why else would you call a joke a "joke"?? well anyway some of these pix and stuff belong to their respective owners so many thanx to them..
anyway, just have a laugh =)
(Tellytubies + Southpark)/2 = ?!?!? ... "UH-OH"!!!
heehee!!
ggrrrr!!! ahh, revenge... never overuse you mouse!! or
face the consequences... er, of being overused yourself!!! *LOL*
ACK!!! Pervert!!
The titanic is discovered!!
Coming to theatres soon...
er... Oops!!
BEWARE OF DOG!!!
Upon entering the little country
store, the stranger noticed
a
sign saying; DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG!
posted on the glass
door. Inside he noticed a harmless
old hound dog asleep on
the
floor besides the cash register.
He asked the store manager, "Is THAT
the dog folks are
supposed to beware of?"
"Yep, that's him," he replied.
The stranger couldn't help but be
amused. "That certainly
doesn't look like a dangerous dog to
me. Why in the world
would
you post that sign?"
"Because"; the owner replied, "before
I posted that sign,
people
kept tripping over him."
Definitions:
Absent Minded Person : One who stands in front of the mirror for hours trying to remember where he had seen the person before .
Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either" .
Opportunists : One who starts having a bath when he/she accindently falls in a river .
Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece .
ONJ getting married is big business:
If Olivia Newton-John married Wayne Newton, then divorced him to marry Elton John, she'd be Olivia Newton-John Newton John.
Ads:
Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
The cleaners: We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!
Calvin and Hobbes
C = Calvin, D = Dad: C: Why does the sun set?
D: It's because hot air rises. The sun's hot in the middle of the day, so it rises high in the sky. In the evening then, it cools down and sets.
C: Why does it go from east to west?
D: Solar wind.
C: Why does the sky turn red as the sun sets?
D: That's all the oxygen in the atmosphere catching fire.
C: Doesn't the sun crush the whole state when it lands?
D: Ha ha, of course not. Hold a quarter up. See, the sun's just about the same size.
C: Dad, how come old photographs are always black and white? Didn't they have color film back then?
D: Sure they did. In fact, those old photographs ARE in color. It's just the WORLD was black and white then.
C: But then why are old PAINTINGS in color?! If the world was black and white, wouldn't artists have painted it that way?
D: Not necessarily. A lot of great artists were insane.
The song "Yesterday":
"Yesterday" (the 'final' version) (sung to 'Yesterday' by the Beatles)
Yesterday,
all my finals seemed so far away.
Then I realized
they start today.
Oh, how I long
for yesterday.
Suddenly,
I no longer have the grade of "B".
Now it's looking closer to a "C".
Oh, finals came
so suddenly.
I can cram, although
I can blow it off today.
Come tomorrow morn,
I'll get on my knees and pray...
Yesterday,
This was such an easy tune to play.
Now my chops are all
but gone away,
My jury's a half-hour away.
What I have to show
I don't know,
the Prof. won't say.
I'll spell something wrong,
or I'll bomb.. ...
there goes my "A"...
Yesterday.
Thought of graduating come this May.
Now it looks as though
I'm here to stay,
oh, how I long for Yesterday.
