Daria Quotes

Here is a list of stupidity thanks to Brintney and 
Kevin, Witty thanks to Daria and Jane and funny 
quotes. If you feel I left out any quotes that are
 just not worth leaving out please email me. Thanx!

"Gee, that's interesting. I guess you can be intellectually gifted and still
  be morally bankrupt. " -Daria (Collage Board)

"Yeah. I'm tired of being at a school where the kids just think they're
 cooler than me. I want to go to one where they're smarter than me
 also." -Daria (Collage Board)

"Thank god for standardized tests. Otherwise you'd never know whom
  your real friends are. " -Daria (Collage Board)

"And the other thing is, who came up with the name tennis bracelet
anyway. It sounds like some kind of sweatband if you ask me. You know
what I'd name them? Wrist ornaments. It's like a tree ornament, only
for your wrist. Doesn't that sound festive? " -Quinn (Collage Board)

"Jane on a school team. That's pathetic. Hey, if she's the pathetic one
 why am I talking to myself? And more importantly why am I waiting for
 a reply?" -Daria (See Jane run)

"Alright you figured  me out. He's a senior and he carves words into his
 arm. Together we're hoping to buck the odds against teen marriages."
 -Daria

"Volunteers are desperately needed. Those who refuse to volunteer
   must voluntarily purchase a ticket for ten dollars or voluntarily face
                  suspension. Have a nice day." - Ms. Li

"White, if you'll just sign this waiver, of suing Lawndale High for you
   accidental death, we can start the fun! Let the sport begin! " -Ms. Li (

"Hey, I wanted to come, remember? Besides, I had to get out of the
              house. Trent discovered a new chord." -Jane
"I'm going to cut out your tongue, your tongue and fry it up on a stick."
- Jane

"Hey, it's almost time for dessert.  Could we discuss liposuction now?" - Daria (Too
Cute)

"But, if I baby-sat for you, then technically I'd be doing you a favor.  And that simply cannot
be." - Daria (Pinch Sitter)

"The whole thing's enough to turn your stomach.  Which I guess is good if you want to be a
model... eases the transition to bulimia." - Daria (This Year's Model)

"Well, I guess I'd like my whole family to do something together. Something that'll really
make them suffer." - Daria (Esteemers) 

"Don't worry, I don't have low self-esteem. It's a mistake. I have low esteem for everyone
else." - Daria (Esteems) 

"Anyway, I don't think your attitude's so bad.  You probably only need one fake boob." -
Jane (Too Cute) 

"I used to help with my sister Summer's kids... till they got old enough to run away." - Jane
(Pinch Sitter) 

"And the dish ran away with the spoon.  But Hawaii was the only state that would recognize
the marriage as legal." - Jane (Pinch Sitter) 

"Well, I, for one, am very excited about this.  I can feel myself getting into the modeling
spirit... may I be excused?  I'd like to go to the girls' room and vomit up breakfast." - Jane
(This Year's Model") 

"I always look for security guards leading away someone in handcuffs. Shoplifters are the
best judges of merchandise." - Jane (Malled) 

"She has no family. She ate them." - Jane (Cafe Disaffecto) 

"Can we get on with this? I have someplace to go. Television counts as a place." - Jane
(College Bored) 

"I like having low self-esteem. It makes me feel special." - Jane (Esteems) 

"I mean, I like being attractive and popular, it's, like, me okay?  So if Dr. Shar makes
everybody else attractive and popular, then I'll have to be even more attractive just to keep
up, and then if they, like, go back to her to catch up to me, then I'll have to go back and pretty
soon it'll be, like, one of those vicious things!  Where will it end, Daria?  Where will it
end?" - Quinn (Too Cute) 

"And her new lips, all the fat in the top slipped down to the bottom.  Now she looks like one
of those beer dogs on TV" - Quinn (Too Cute) 

"You can't expect me to choose a boyfriend right away, that would be like eating the first
pancake off the stove. You have to feed one to the dog." - Quinn (The Invitation) 

"They've been going out for awhile, and he's upset because other people keep asking her out,
and she's saying she can't help it if she's attractive and popular, and besides, nobody ever
said they were going steady. And if he does want to go steady, he's got to do a lot better than
movie, burger, backseat, movie, burger, backseat, because there are plenty of guys with
bigger backseats, waiting to take her someplace nice." - Quinn (Esteems) 

"Perky, a little bouncy, not too bouncy..." - Brittany (Malled) 

"Where are we going? The mall! What are we spending? Money! Money! Mall! Mall!
Money! Mall! Mall!" - Brittany (Malled) 

"Did I tell you that I did this really nice thing and invited Daria Morgendorffer? Even though
she never, ever, wears nail polish." - Brittany (The Invitation) 

"I love being the hostess. It's so easy to get home at the end of the night." - Brittany (The
Invitation) 

"We tell you over and over again that you're wonderful, and you just don't get it. What's
wrong with you?" - Helen (Esteems) 

"(pounds on table) Dammit, it's my turn to say dammed!" -- Daria (The Teachings of Don
Jake) 

"Stop staring at me, you squirrel pervert!" - Daria (Road Worrier) 

"Dad, these tired bones may be locked behind prison walls, but when I play this rusty old
harp my soul flies, free as a bird." - Daria (The Big House) 

"A weekend on the world's tallest pile of seagull droppings is starting to look good." -- Jane
(The Teachings of Don Jake) 

"But a voice in his head told him his work here on Earth wasn't finished. Some of his
students weren't wetting the bed yet." - Jane (The Big House) 

"The only thing worse than actually reading is watching somebody else read." - Quinn (The
Big House) 

"Although, the clothing would disguise any electrodes below the neck." - Jane (The Big
House) 

"Jake: Hey Daria, Why aren't you on the tennis team? Daria: Because it's classified as a sport." -Daria and Jake (Gifted)

"My goal is not to wake up at forty with a bitter realization that I wasted my life at a job I hate because I was forced to decide on a career in my teens. -Daria (Gifted)

"I've written lots of stuff, it's just not up to my standards. I didn't even know I had standards." -Daria (Write Where It Hurts)

"All her challenges are arranging her shoes according to the color of her date's eyes." -Daria on
 Quinn's challenges (Write Where It Hurts)

"You just take fictional people and make them do whatever you want. I'd make them crawl. CRAWL!
 CRAWL!" -Jane (Write Where It Hurts)

"Trying to brighten your ho hum life with a little allusion?" -Daria (Pierce Me)

"Oh no, the toilet is talking to me again." -Jane (Pierce Me)

"Talking toilet, you can call me Jane. -Jane (Pierce Me) 

"Marsha, Marsha, Marsha" -Daria (Pierce Me)

"That's it, Shakespeare, do you own damn homework!" -Daria (Quinn the Brain)

"I don't like kids. I didn't even like kids when I was a kid." -Daria (Pinch Sitter) 

"I'm sensing the potential for total humiliation of Quinn here. I'd never forgive myself if I missed it."
 -Daria (This Year's Model)

"I don't smile unless I have a reason." (from The Misery Chick) -Daria

"I can't shoot my own mother. Not with inflicting paint at least. -Daria(Daria Hunter) 

"That which does not kill us, makes us stronger." -Jane (The Invitation)

"I got a tattoo out of a magazine" (from Road Worrier) -Trent

"Smart is not a four-letter word. That would be smar." -Daria 
















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