There was a time when I was a little more lively and a little more brave and I decided to audition to be a contestant on the hit television game show "Uh Oh".
My dearest companion Jackie accompanied me, and we rocked the party. We did a little poetry, dazzled the judges with our athleticism, and wooed them off their feet. We each were asked to be contestants.
Unfortunately I am taller than Jackie so we couldn't be partners. But that is neither here nor there.
I was on the blue team, and I was to be the first contestant to run on stage once the lights were flashing and the camera's rolling. My instructions were simple: when I here my name, run around the bleachers of audience members (giving them high fives like an asshole), and don't stop running until you get to the stage.
What they didn't know is that I'm the worlds biggest klutz. That was their downfall.
The lights went off, the stobe lights on, and the dry ice was a flyin'! Once they called my name -with a corny alliteration attached- I did as I was told. Started running and didn't stop. But I didn't give any high fives. I have a little bit of pride.
So there I was running in the dark smoke, with a camera man crouched in front of me running backwards. What could I do? I wasn't allowed to stop....so I ran into him, knocked him on his ass, and sent the camera falling onto his face. Like a proper lady would.
Embarrassing story short, I ended up beat red while the camera was checked for damage and the camera man got an ice pack. Then we started again.
There was no more embarrassment after that. In fact, I think it was good karma, because my team won when we went into a tie breaker with Jackie's team. She called out the answer, and my partner hit the buzzer and repeated the answer. Jackie was angry.