Everyone remembers the cartoon show Scooby-Doo? As we've gotten older, it's become clear what Fred, Shaggy, Daphne, Velma, and Scooby were all about as theytravelled the country solving crimes in the Mystery Machine.
WHAT WE REMEMBER: Four teenagers and their trusted dog galavanting across the country in their purple and green
van solving mysteries
THE TRUTH: Four high-school dropouts and their dog riding around the country in their psychedelic love
machine, occasionally taking off criminals's masks, and earning their way by selling drugs.
Take Shaggy for example.He is the inspiration
for the current 'grunge' scene, with his sloppy styles
and facial hair. Shaggy obviously smokes marijuana. Why do you think he constantly has the muchies? Shaggy can make a six foot sandwich and swallow it whole.
And then there's Scooby. Dogs do not generally smoke joints and therefore Scooby gets his 'high' from
Scooby-Snacks, which are in fact Hash-Brownies. Whenever
Scooby, or Shaggy for that matter, eats a Scooby-Snack,
they go balistic! It just blows their mind and they do whatever
they are told, because they are so lit!
The other characters do not actively take part in the
stoner-fest that Shaggy and Scooby do, but they do condone
the selling of it because it helps support their jaunts
across the country (and the world -- they drove to China
once). These other characters do have their own peculiarities
however...
Fred and Daphne are always jetting off from the
group to go 'solve the case' by themselves. It's no
real mystery what these two are doing -- Daphne,
with her pretty pink legs, and Fred are constantly bumping
uglies in the back of the Mystery Machine. Fred is, by the way, pumped up on steroids.
One thing that remains a mystery though, is why he always
wore that stupid scarf around his neck.
Velma?One word-lesbian. But because the only other female cast member was involved with Fred, she resorted to beastiality.
Where do you think Scrappy-Doo came from? Scrappy, who
was a dog yet spoke perfect English, was obviously a
product of Velma and Scooby.
So these kids spent their teenage years driving around
the world, slangin' dope, shooting steroids, eating
hash brownies, and fucking their dog. Oh, if we had only
known these things when we watched this cartoon as children...
