Duncan ( aka White Chocolate ) is a 17 year old white boy from Thunder Bay. Over the last couple years he has managed to boggle the minds of friends, family and complete strangers with his ability to be a complete FUCKUP. The following are a few of his misadventures.....

The HYDRO pole

Duncan at age four, decided that nobody loved him and decided to run away from home. He climbed up a Hydro pole and an hour later the fire department had to come and get him.


Upon recieving a fake ID, Duncan went to the strip club.... After an hour and plenty of drinking he called his dad and told him where he was. Screaming in the phone that the strippers tits were huge, and his father should come and join him for a few drinks. The next night, Duncan put a loonie in his mouth and when the stripper came to grab it with her tits, her tit slapped him in the face and he swallowed the loonie. The next day his cramps were so bad that he ended up in the hospital. They told him that they couldn't do anything so he had to shit it out. He still has it.....the loonie that is!

Call Grrl

Duncan and his friends rented a hotel room and got drunk. His friends left Duncan at the hotel and went out and left $100 on the night stand. About a half hour later there was a knock on the door. Duncan being the only one in the room, answered the door. In walked "April" the 18 year old, long legged vixen that his friends called to tend to 17 year old Duncan's every desire. Duncan having a girlfriend, continuously told "April" that she could not touch his penis. She kept saying "Lie down.","Get comfortable"etc. While Duncan kept saying, "Do you want to watch T.V.?" They ended up talking all night about how she got started in the business. He gave her the money anyway.

Night of the Killer Cabbies

Duncan went to a party and drank much more than his limit of booze (which we've probablly all done, but anyway....) He was sittin' down on the couch when some fatty came up to him and started kissing him. Being unbelievablly loaded and thinking that this chic was a guy, he went to sack "him", but seeing as how it was a chic, he boxed her. Unfortunately she thought it was foreplay! Duncan called a cab and thought that his friend had given the cabbie $10 for the fare. Half way home he made a comment about his friend giving the cabbie money. The cabbie got pissed off cause Duncan had no money for him. The driver then radioed to the other cab drivers to meet him in a parking lot. Within a few minutes Duncan was surounded by 8 cabs in a circle with their high beams on and ready to kick his ass. Duncan ran, hopped a fence and blacked out. Now, his sister being awake when he got home, knows that someone in a car dropped him off. She also knows that he was only wearing boxer shorts and it took him a week to find the outfit he was wearing that night!!