I am in the process of giving Miss Suzanna her own directory. I had started with the section of Miss Suzanna's Adventures. Her pages have grown, as well as I have many stories, that we wrote together that the basics of design are not finished. I also have alot of research I did on feline medical, mainly paralysis and nerve damage. As well as the healing, and to improve her quality of life.

It is taking time to pull that together due to my own disabilities, and now my grieving over my Princess. Her body just wore out, she wouldn't have ever given up, but she was tired. The decision was made for us medically.

Below is the email I sent out. It has taken me several months to put this on her webpages. I know her Spirit is with me, I feel her at times. I miss her terribly, but since Manny came to live with us, he has helped. Especially Govy, who was grieving his Miss Suzanna, they were together for 15 years. In attempting to find a image for Manny, and start his web page brought me to this place of needing to tell the rest of the internet that she has gone to Rainbow Bridge.

She continues to live on in my heart and soul, as well as the courage she showed that made such an impression on so many people. She was/is an amazing, wise, & beautiful little soul that is proof that animals are teachers, spiritually and intelligently. If we only open ourselves up to see how they see the world. Their love is unconditional and pure forever. I have learned so much from Suzanna, and am eager for her return.

When she gazed up at me her eyes said to me.."I love you unconditionally, I adore you forever, You are my whole world." I never felt more loved in my life, than I did in those moments.

Many of these things that she taught me, I will be adding to her section. As well as continuing to remind people, when we accept an animal into our home, family, life we are responsible for their medical care, and all of their physical needs in life. This is to the end of their natural life. I learned one of the most difficult lessons ever. I owe it to Suzanna to continue to tell people to know who is putting a needle/ vaccination into your pet. She was paralyzed because of that.

The email I sent:

Date: Sat, May 21, 2005, 9:28pm

Miss Suzanna went to Rainbow Bridge this evening

My precious princess, my soulmate, the owner of my heart, Miss Suzanna went to Rainbow Bridge about 6pm tonight. My heart is broken, as I knew it would to be.

She had a roller coaster week. One victory about calming the nerves around her head and neck. But then Wednesday the partial blockage, removed, she slept next to me all nite long hardly moving a muscle as we were both exhausted from being up all nite Tuesday.

Thursday evening the same symptoms started again. I talked to the Vet on Friday actually relay of his Tech. Got her some Reglan to try and keep anything down. Even water wouldn't stay down. I was up with her all nite last nite (Friday).

She wanted to be in my bedroom, on her bed by the heater. And she wanted me with her. So I laid on the floor all nite with her. Massaging her legs and spine when her legs would start jerking. I told her how much I loved her, and if it was time for her to go, I would respect her wishes as I had always promised. But I wished and hoped she could stay longer. I would love her forever. I think I knew, because her eyes were dark, no sparkle at all.

At daylight I carried her with me to let Govy out. I stood on the porch holding her, so she could hear the birds saying good morning, and feel the morning breeze. Then I walked her around the backyard as she would normally do in the mornings.

Called the Vet's office at 8:30am. After discussing it all Dr. Mike, he said I should bring her in, she was probably dehydrated and would need to stay for IV's. They did bloodwork and IV's.

I finally got to talk to the Vet on duty about 4pm. She said Miss Suzanna had many bladder stones, they were making it so she couldn't pee and was getting toxic, thus why she was throwing up. They could have done surgery to remove the stones..... but about 2:30 she had a Grand Mal seizure. That and her age, being somewhat frail it was decided it would be too risky to do surgery. She would not comfortable (well she was very stoned on valium when I saw her) but the potential of repeat seizures, and she would have to be so medicated she would have trouble walking...... She was such a strong will kitty, and she overcame alot, she deserved to maintain her dignity, so it was just time to let her go.

I went back to the hospital and spent time with her. Touching her fur, soft as a bunny rabbits fur. Told her how much I loved her, and will miss her until she returns to me. As I always promised, I held her and stayed until she left her body.

When I can look at my stuff without crying constantly, I plan to put together all the documentation of Suzanna's journey after being paralyzed in hopes it will help other kitties. And Miss Suzanna deserves no less than for me to try and use her life to benefit others.

I was very blessed to have such a beautiful, intelligent, strong, and amazing little furry soul in my life for over 17 years. I have no clue how I will cope with each day knowing she won't be sashaying into the room with her loud MEOW demanding to know where I am. For now this is all I can write. My heart is hurting so bad.

She is forever my hero, my love, and soulmate.
And I'm still Miss Suzanna's Mom,
Katrina