Governor's Philosophies of Life

Hello! I'm the Governor. These are my philosophies for life. I may add more as it suits me. So sit back and have yourself a good time and enjoy some of my thoughts of life. {streach} It mustn't be hurried, unless it is {Yawn} fitting for the situation....{walk in a cirlce 3 times and plop down}
Cherrs
Governor

Current Philosophies

• When sleeping on the bed or couch, be sure to choose your area carefully...i.e. the very middle is prime choice.
  
  
• Determine quickly which guests hate cats. Sit on that lap during the evening. He won't dare push you off, and will even call you "nice kitty". If you can arrange to have cat food on your breathe so much the better.
  
  
  
  
• Avoid walking on the floor as much as possible. Walk across furniture, tables, jumping from one to another and if people are sitting there, remember this is your domain, just walk across their laps.
  
  
• This is the same for your daily road races through the house. All furniture is your domain.
  
  
• Always accompany guests to the bathroom, it isn't necessary for you to do anything. Just sit there and stare.
  
   
  
  
• Go running at top speed through the house, for no reason -never mind what gets knocked over in the process. Stop dead in your tracks, then slowly saunter back through the room. This confuses your humans. {Maybe this is why they call me "Thundarbutt"}
  
  
• Do not allow doors closed in any room. To get one open, stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws. Once the door is opened for you, it is not necessary to use it. You can change your mind. When you have ordered an outside door opened, stand half in and out, thinking about several things. This is most important when it is very cold or hot weather.
  
  
  
  
  
  
• When it comes to food, one day a special food or treat is delicious, the next day sniff at it then turn and walk away--with a insulted look. Expect to have another can opened. Or just sit by your dish and stare at them.
  
  
• Have your own special eccentrities, I personally am the puzzel spuatter. I can sleep for hours, but when I hear my humans working on the puzzel so neatly laid out on the table....I JUMP UP and go into ACTION! Plopping myself smack in the middle of the puzzel, being sure to allow that back paw to slide over the finished area, dislodging and knocking pieces on the floor. When the puzzel is almost finished be sure to be laying on those last 2 or 3 pieces.
  
  
  
  
• For sitting on laps or rubbing against trouser legs, select colors that contrast your own.
  
  
• If you have an upset stomache, get into a chair quickly. If you can't manage this, get to an Oriental rug, or anything of value laying around.
  
  
• Get enough sleep during the daytime so that you are fresh for playing at night between 2 and 4 a.m.
  
  
  
  
• If one person is busy and the other is idle, sit with the busy one. For book readers, get in close under the chin, unless you can lie across the book itself.   For people doing paperwork, sit on the paper being worked on. After being moved for the second time, push anything movable off the table, pens, pencils, stamps-one at a time.  
  
  
• For guests who say "I love kitties," Be ready with aloof disdain, claws applied to the stockings or a quick nip on the ankles.  
  
  
• Remember above all, YOU own the house, yard, etc., you are "allowing" your humans to reside with you. And when getting what you want, anything "obnoxious" will always get what you want!
  
  

Last update September 5, 1999