A woman may feel so trapped by an unplanned pregnancy that she thinks she doesn't have any other choice, except abortion. True, abortion has the quickest results, but there are other choices to be considered. They do not have the fastest results and they require more immediate effort on the mother's part than having an abortion.

Below are a selection of possible options:

1) The two parents of the child decide to raise the child together.

2) The mother does not have a choice of having a partner and decides to raise the child, seeking out resources to help her.

3) There are times a family member is able to step in and be the caretaker of the child until the mother is able.

4) There are options within adoption itself. There are closed adoptions (little to no communication between birthmother and adopting parents), and open adoptions (ranging from the birth mother having the option of selecting the adopting parents, to pictures being sent to birth mother at various ages, and so on.) In an open or closed adoption, the birthmother can decide how much personal/identifying information she chooses to share with the adopting parents.

Is the woman looking to make the decision that feels "right" deep inside of her or just take the fastest and easiest option? Often times the right thing to do is the hardest thing to do. Please read below for more on adoption.

There are 2 great links at bottom of page that offer many help resources to those experiencing an unplanned pregnancy.


Page Topics:
Adoption | Abortion (before or after) | Fetal Development
Unplanned Pregnancy Links (real help) | Post-Abortion Links











Adoption
As mentioned above, there are different ways to go about an adoption. The open adoption can range from the birth mother having the option of selecting the adopting parents, to pictures being sent to the birthmother at various ages, and so on. The closed adoption provides little or no communication between the adopting parents and the birthmother. Whether the adoption is open or closed, the birthmother is the one who decides how much information, or communication, will be shared.

A woman who chooses adoption will have a big responsibility for 9 months. Then, she will give the most wonderful present to a human being, life. And it will be hard for her to give the child to someone else; but that is the second most wonderful gift in the world, a child to a childless family. If you're interested in adoption, there are a couple of links at the bottom of the page that can assist you.


I thank God for a certain birthmother who was brave and saintly (although she never thought she could be either of those things.) When she found out she was pregnant, it would be an understatement to say it was an unplanned pregnancy. There was no way for her to keep the child. She decided to get an abortion. It would not be new to her; she had had abortions before.

This particular location she went to has a policy of always using ultrasounds to confirm the gestational age of the fetus before aborting it. A mistake was made somewhere along the line and the technician didn't know she was there for an abortion. She turned the screen toward the birthmother and said "See your baby?" Of course, she was devastated. What bothered her the most was the fact that she had been told by people at a clinic and by friends, that the fetus was just a ball of cells at that point in her pregnancy. What she saw on that ultrasound was not a ball of cells. But, according to the office, she was not too far along for an abortion.

She left the office right after the ultrasound and went home to think about what she would do. Keeping the baby was not an option for her so she started placing phonecalls and finding out how to go about finding a family for adoption. She chose an open adoption and so was able to select the future parents for her baby. Because she and the adoptive parents agreed, she is sent pictures and updates of her her/their child. The child has known she was adopted since about 3 years of age and is told stories about her birthmother and has the option of meeting with her when she is older if she chooses.

I am the aunt of this precious child the birthmother gave to our family. I got to know this birthmother well while she was pregnant and was chosen by her to be her birthing coach. The very first moment I saw my niece, I was so overwhelmed that I can't describe it to you in words. I loved her instantly. And it would be an understatement to say that her adoptive mother, my sister, loved her immediately. Through the pregnancy, she had been talking to her through the birthmother's stomach and they already had a bond. But no baby/now-child has ever been loved more by a family. She is our little sprite and none of us would be the same without her.

So to all the birthmothers out there, may God bless you for the gifts you give to these families and especially the gift of life you gave to your own. I don't have much pull with the Vatican, but in my eyes you are saints.


Page Topics:
There are Options | Abortion (before or after) | Fetal Development
Unplanned Pregnancy Links (real help) | Post-Abortion Links












Abortion
For those of you who have been affected negatively by a past abortion or are suffering because of it, I would like to share the experience of a very dear friend of mine: "Although I chose to believe the clinic when they told me I was pregnant with a "blob of cells", I felt somewhere deep in my heart that the abortion was not ethically or morally right. It's the kind of 'knowing' that can't be taught from a book, etc. Later, my friend showed me an ultrasound of her 6-week old fetus inside of her. I came home enraged; how could she and the doctor believe that that was a fetus at 6 weeks. Someone had made a mistake. It did not look like a blob of cells at all, but had clearly human form. It took quite some time before I became pregnant and then looked through some medical books on fetal development so I could follow the baby's development. I began to see truth I could not deny.

There are many different reasons we, as women, have chosen to have an abortion. But when I finally stopped trying to convince myself that having an abortion was a 'right' thing to do and allowed myself to view my responsibility around it, I finally started healing emotionally. Looking back, I could see that I was not truly trying to choose what was best, but trying to choose what was best for me. Ironically, once I "surrendered" & stopped viewing my choice so defensively, the guilt I had been carrying started to lift. Once I admitted to myself it wasn't the best choice, but it's the one I made at the time, I could finally give up the fight inside myself. Just admitting it wasn't a 'good' thing to do, didn't have to mean I was no good. Accepting the truth for what it was, and not what I wanted it to be, was scary at first, but it truly is what set me free."