Akudia : Life Of A Typical Malay - Sept 2000

Monday 25/9

> Another boring day at the site today, with no major works (concreting) the site seemed almost deserted.

> Did some M&E inspections at Block B - asked the gas sub-contractor guy to submit another inspection form, I must have dropped the form he submitted last Friday somewhere while checking some welding works.

> Drove to Pantai Dalam after lunch, my intention was to buy some Yassin/Surah tapes (I know I have quite a few but couldn't find any this morning - I believe the tapes are still there, somewhere in my car. One of these days I'm gonna have my car thoroughly cleaned, I'm such a rat pack, I stuff everything inside my car. And I mean everything)

For the 3rd consecutive days my car has been without music, pretty quiet I must say but I'm gonna keep it that way. No more music, no more MixFM, no more RFM, no more Radio 4, no more Light & Easy, no more Aztec Camera, no more Simple Minds, no more The Beautiful South, no more Crowded House, no more Bon Jovi, no more Bryan Adams, no more Chris de Burgh, no more ....

Jean Michel Jarre even.

On the way back to the office, (it was raining quite heavily) I saw one old woman with bags in both hands walking in the rain soaking wet. I was in two minds, whether or not to give her a lift, or just give her a brolly. At last I stopped the car and asked her to hop in, she refused at first, tapi sebab dia kesian kat aku pasal beria sangat agaknya, dia naik jugak. Hantar dia sampai rumah panjang Kerinchi. Aku fikir jugak, kalau perempuan tu muda, aku for sure tak berenti punya. Double standard jugak aku ni kan?

> Left for Subang Jaya at 5-15 pm, traffic was not heavy and it took me just under 20 mins to reach the office. Abang Wan was already in (since noon), he was a bit worried having open long position. Logged on to crbmarketcenter.com but the ticker for London LIFFE was not working and I could not "watch" the market. There were only a few news (slightly bullish) posted on bridge.com today; Indonesia to join ACPC scheme, says Indonesian President - (c'mon Gus Dur, wake up! it's already end of Sept, the retention will start in Oct! ...be real!....)

> To Shah Alam after Maghrib to collect my snail mails, there was this cute little wedding invitation (thank you me, myself & I)....arrgghhh... a day too late! Well, I'm going to keep the card, baunya, Ya Rabbi, wangi semerbak, sure tuan punya card tu cantik & hensem gila...heh...nama pun sedap, Nadiatul & Hanan, (Hanan orang Raub jugak?...heh....kok aku kenal?). Anyway, Selamat Pengantin Baru, semoga berkekalan ke anak cucu cicit dan seterusnya...

> New York CSCE traded within a tight range and closed higher by 1.05 points.

Tuesday 26/9

> Took the Architect to the site just before Site Meeting, his face turned white (slight exaggeration there, sorry) when I said, Let's take the passenger lift to Level 13 and from there on we use ladders to get to Level 17. Nice view from the top there but don't look down, it's scary.

No, I think I just go up to Level 9 to see some plastering works, aku gayatlah,

> Site Meeting started at 9-45 am and ended just 45 minutes later, the rest of the Consultant went to Sample Unit (Block B) but I just stayed at the office discussing some M&E progress report. We later went to Block B to take some photos of M&E piping works.

> Called Reliance Travel to enquire about flight tickets/dates, the only seat available was on oh shit! MAS (Malaysia Airline System), 28/10/2000 for RM 2375-00 (a few hundred Ringgits more for airport tax and visa application) and I quickly made a confirmation. Asked her to make visa application on behalf of me because I don't have the time.

And she gave me a long list of documents (requested by the US Embassy) to be attached together with my application:

- 2 passport-sized recent photos
- latest bank statement
- latest pay slip
- J form (income tax form)
- photocopy of bank passbook
- letter from the employer stating:
a> position held
b> length of service
c> salary
d> other silly things like the purpose of the trip, who'll pay for it and stuff like that.

Yeah, Americans can be that stupid sometimes...

I think I will have a problem producing a letter from the company simply because ..........well, I'll think of something.

> We were supposed to have another meeting (M & E Meeting) at 2-30 pm but it was cancelled. To Block A to inspect some plastering works instead, spent nearly 2 hours there.

> Reached Subang Jaya office at 6-00 pm, had to park at the basement carpark, roads leading to the office chockablocked with cars, Pasar Malam day. London LIFFE surged during morning session, told Abang Wan about my intention of going long coffee tonight. Took a nap later and when I woke up the prices were already on the higer ends I started to curse myself. And why didn't they wake me up?.......

> Left for KL at 3-00 am, instead of driving home I took a nice spin around Merdeka Square, Jalan Tuanku Abdul Rahman and Jalan Ampang. No, I wasn't cruising for....

Wednesday 27/9

> A little bit of inspection here and there - I noticed a few bulging beams (Level 12, Block B) and asked to contractor to do some rectification works. Checked some welding works (Block B) too, gas piping/conduits a bit too slow. Of all the Nominated Sub-Contractors (NSCs) working for this project, I find fire fighting contractors to be the easiest to handle, they have a very good Project Manager at the site, Chan.

> To KL during lunch hour, paid my car repayment at Hong Leong Finance, then to HSBC to enquire about getting latest bank statement because the branch I'm having an account with is in USJ. Then to Petaling (by commuter train) to pay for my road tax/insurance renewal. My road tax expires this Saturday and if I can't get it renewed I'll be in trouble.

> It rained cats and dogs from 2-30 until 4-15 pm, we just did our own things. I did some paperworks (for KDN meeting next week), Edwards played scrabble and read newspapers. By the way, I haven't seen Kamal, the other C-o-W for days now, wonder where he is....

....see you later (tonight) Foo Fighters...

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> Last Friday CSCE coffee was up by 0.20 point, Monday it climbed another 1.05 point and yesterday it surged by more than 3 points but tonight it erased all gains made the last three days. It opened weaker (London LIFFE was called to open USD 25-00 higher but instead it gapped up just about USD 15-00) and started to move south, triggering sell stops along the way. Local shortcovering helped pushed the prices higher but another wave of selling brought the price to its lowest value for the second time. Sentiment remains decidedly bearish amid growing stocks, beneficial rain in coffee areas and skeptism over retention scheme.

Thursday 28/9

So I love it when I venture to the end of my rope. Love it when I let go and start falling. That's a lovely feeling at first, that falling. There's the rush of fear, the total body high. And the closer to the bottom, the less I care.

But then you have to hit and bounce, hit and bounce, hit and lay there for a while, try to get up a couple of times, make it to your knees and look around. I don't like that part. I care then.

So the trick is to find a reason to start the trudge towards healthy. If I don't have a reason, I'm not gonna get up, because it's a tough hike back to where you were when you started falling. And there's all the accompanying soul-searching and fight for clarity.

God, I hate that.

I am in my most unflattering light at those moments. I'm not the most attractive personality in the best of times. I'm functional. I'm witty if I've had enough sleep. Sometimes in the past, I've shone, or so I was led to believe. I am none of those things now, and the clarity is not a soul-lightening experience.

I wish I'd get good at this life thing. You'd think I'd have figured it out by now.
Friday 29/9
> I cannot find my place in this world.

I don't find comfort in this like I used to. I used to like not being a part of some of the things I saw. A world filled with prejudice, and curroption, and and overall apathy about these things.

Then this morning I walked down the streets, so early in the morning that it was just waking up. With a chill still in the air, I watch the city wake up, the shop keepers lifting the gates to their shops, and the smell of coffee in the air.

Still to early for the tired gazes I knew would eventually come, I felt a pang in the midst of the streets waking up.

I could not find my place in this beautiful but tragic cycle.

> Another Friday.... time eludes me. I don't know what happens. At work, it's always one thing after another. Always something to be done, which is how I like it.. busy, but without too much concentration.

Today I liked watching things in the air. During lunch (after Friday Prayers) I sat in my car and watched a whole zillion flies fly around in strange patterns. It was fun making out the music and the wind in their medley. I don't know why this fascinates me today. Yesterday and Tuesday the color blue fascinated me.

Unfortunately, weekend's coming. Weekends suck. At first I am filled with joy and verve, and then the slump comes.. I have no one with whom I can share my glowiness, so I get *beep* depressed and irritable. I realize, despite my daily distractions and happiness in a healthy routine, that life does suck, even more absolutely than I am unwonderful, and well. Whatever.

> Some people at work are social, but not very perceptive. They like me because I work well, but dislike my mannerisms. I scare some of them away, which makes me feel bad that I am making myself so unapproachable. Some of them try to merge with me in the ether, and that scares me, and makes me feel bad that I am so unapproachable.

I guess I'm just a non-social kind of person. I think I have much to offer others. Some people seem to like me for who I am, and I seem to like them for who they are, yet there exists a gaping hole between us.

I suppose I will simply pull gum in strands out of my mouth, pretending like some kind of dork that I ain't getting any older.

Gum doesn't really fascinate me, but maybe it could.

.....see you later ghostbuster.....(cerita aku hantar pisang, tangerines and apples to uitm....)

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> At about 6-00 pm, instead of going to the Subang Jaya office, I drove home to Shah Alam to collect some mails and stuff. It rained but not too heavy, and since it was a bit early I went to Maybank to withdraw some money but all ATM machines were out of order. All? machines? On a Saturday night? Aku bukak wallet, tengok ada dekat 200 ringgit so aku pergi to PKNS Complex and bought a few kilos of tangerines, green apples, oranges and a few sikat of bananas.

To UiTM after that, there was a kind of Yassin recital going on and I waited for a few minutes, mula tu aku taruk jer buah-buah tu kat atas one table tapi sebab gelap aku naik kejap ke tingkat atas, aku agak-agak adalah dalam 50 orang students (2 groups, lelaki and perempuan) aku kata dalam hati, rezeki diaorang agaknya, aku rasa buah yang aku beli tu ngam-ngam cukup (atau mungking berlebih sebab aku beli banyak jugak). So aku bagi signal kat dua tiga orang budak perempuan kat situ suruh dia orang ambik, kasi satu pada boys yang kat depan tuh. Aku rasa dia orang agak ada mana-mana orang sponsor makan tu pasal masa aku tunjuk beg buah tu diaorang angguk lepas tu tunjuk kat aku suruh letak kat tepi. Lepas tu aku terus blah pergi office Subang Jaya.

> CSCE Coffee tumbled on opening on rumours Vietnam boycotting ACPC Meeting in London and India and Indonesia refusal to join retention scheme. It played sideaways until mid session when ACPC concluded their meeting and announced that all Asian countries to join the scheme, albeit at a later date. We thought the news was not too bullish so we just ignored it. Sudenly the prices surged and rallied by more than 6-00 points. It closed lower but way above 50-day moving average.
Saturday 30/9

> Dratssss.....my road tax and insurance are not ready, the girl in charge are taking a week leave and she did not leave the documents on her table. She did not tell me about this when I went to see her the other day. Dratttssss....I can't drive for a week at least! Because I'm a law-abiding citizen. This is much too much and I don't know how I can cope.

> Spent the whole afternoon surfing the net, Edwards left at 12 noon and it rained quite heavily so I was alone at the office with nothing much to do (except that Progress Report for next week meeting....then again I'm a smart guy, why waste my time doing it now when I can do it next week?...heh..)

> Left for KL after Asar, took a cab from Angkasapuri station. To The Actors Studio at Plaza Putra but it was closed. To HSBC Bank and withdrew some money, to Central Market and KotaRaya and ended up here at this internet cafe to update this journal. I have no plan for tonight, maybe I just go have dinner at Samarkhand Restaurant and spend 2 hours at the internet cafe next to the restaurant after that. Or maybe I just retire to bed early. I'm not sure yet.

Oklah, it's about Maghrib, I'm off to....

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