I was fuming mad when the Contractors kept submitting inspection forms for concreting to Level 17, Block B (zone B).
Edwards left at lunch hour but I stayed on until 2-00 pm, then drove to Angkasapuri station and took a cab to Plaza Putra. You look tense....you've been thinking a lot huh?, said the driver.Well, no....how do you know by the way? I asked him back. The way you look actually, you look so serious, so tensed....
I was like pleading with the cashier at The Actors Studio when he said there was no more tickets for today's show. Oh, c'mon....just squeeze one more chair and I'll be the happiest man alive.... He reluctantly issued me a ticket (RM 35-00) and asked me to be a bit early to arrange for the chair.
Had lunch at...heh...Alas Cafe again, I was in a hurry, mind you. Took a cab back to the site, all in all I only spent less than an hour in KL this afternoon. The rest of the afternoon was spent online, with ocassional chats with the Contractors staff. They thanked me for agreeing to have Level 17, Block B, concreted tomorrow. Balls.
Left at 5-30 pm, wanted to get changed at Masjid Kerinchi but the roads leading to the area were closed for a Pasar Malam (Night market) or something. I then drove off to the National Mosque, it poured the moment I stepped into the mosque. Took a shower and said my Asar, aku rasa happy saja petang ni, aku pakai baju Pierre Balmain, seluar Peirre Balmain, kasut Pierre Balmain, jam Pierre Balmain, underwear jer underwear crocodile..heh... Well, I just wanted to make myself feel good.
While waiting for Maghrib (Plaza Putra), I lepaked at the surau, bayar hutang baca Quran semalam. Had dinner at The Actors Studio Italian Cafe, had deep fried mushroom, mushroom soup and a bottle of mineral water. Ok, here's a joke....
Q: What do you call a mushroom that goes to a disco/comedy theatre play?
A: A fun guy (fungi)
The play, Charley's Auntie started at 8-30 pm, it was held at The Actors Studio Theatre Box instead of the usual main theatre hall, they were holding Chinese Theatre Dance called The Red Snake Lady or something at the same time. The play was hilarously entertaining, nothing too serious, but just pure comedy. Azean Irdawati was the main attraction but she only played a small part, her son Khaerael Benjyamin (hope I got that right) gave a splendid performance. But the one that really caught my attention was Amy. Maybe I'll see this play again next month, this time around I'll go with Dominic, he sure will enjoy it.
Note:My ICQ pager is still not working well, I didn't get any messages today, I know you guys are dying to ICQ me...heh....
Sunday 17/9
Just a quick one because I'm not feeling too good, my head is spinning and I need to have a nice sleep. I know it's still early (10-45pm) but I really need to take a break.- Reached the site at 9-45 am after having breakfast at Pantai Dalam, spent about an hour reading the 4 newspapers I bought before coming to the office. Was told by the Contractors that they needed a few hours to have the works completed for inspection. I said, fine, I'll have a quick nap and wake me up at one, will ya? So I locked my room and in no time at all I was in deep sleep.
- We were about to go for inspection when we saw the workers running helter-skelter towards the office. Arrgghhh! another police raid? No, it was false alarm, one of the Indonesians at the top floor thought it was a police truck coming to the site so he walky-talkied the guys below.
- After talking to a few sub-contractors we decided to have the works (concreting) postponed to tomorrow because it was already late (2-00 pm). Dammit! I wasted my Sunday just like that!
- Logged on to the 'net and spent about 30 minutes online, my ICQ is not working still. Drattsss!!!
- Drove to the National Mosque, parked my car there and walked to Central Market, then to KotaRaya. Then took a cab to Sungai Wang Plaza, had lunch at Restaurant Rasa Utara....hmmmm....this was the very restaurant where....(heh...if you are a bit curious go check my past entries, June or July 1999 I think. I don't want to talk about her anymore....play that Celine Dion's It's All Coming Back (To Me Now) song please?
- Took a cab back to the mosque and reached Subang Jaya at 7-00 pm, I was so damn sleepy during religious talk (kuliah) between Maghrib and Isyak I only managed to listen to just a few words......
On my way to the car I saw that guy again...(that Chinese convert - refer to my entry dated Sunday 16/4/2000)
Monday 18/9
> Hmmm....who was that guy who travelled incognito (and eating cornetto...heh) coming in here thru' anonymizer.com this morning? Trying to be smart hah? Ptuihh!!!....heh..> Spent my morning checking/inspecting C&S, M&E works, Level 17, Block B. It rained heavily the concrete they just poured looked like tahik lembu (cow dung). Lembu!
> At the mosque during Zohor I saw this written (in Jawi) on the board.
1. A'udhzubillah 5x
2. Bismillah 5x
3. Salawat 5x
I know you guys (Muslims) are going to practice that.
> Across the road from the main access leading to our site is Pantai Dalam/Kerinchi Muslim burial ground (for Muslims). I always park my car right infront of the grave (without blocking the main entrance) , for some reasons:
- it gives me the opportunity to give salam/al-fatihah to the deads (a few times a day depending on how often I get to the car) and it reminds me of death too.
> I'm taking my ICQ pager off the web indefinitely.
------see you later (tonight), thermometer-------
Tuesday 19/9
|
I'm some place very strange right now. There is no way I can
capture it. I'm fearful that the longer I go without writing
cryptically, the longer I will go without ever really speaking. My
voice is missing. And I with it. This makes me sad. I cannot even
write to myself. Without that, there is nothing. There is nothing. Nothing is there. Why does that sentence haunt me right now? A natural thought, something I have always taken as a given, one of those oh so obvious assumptions that can never make me tremble. Why then do I tremble right now? Why do I wish I could crawl in bed and just hide my face from the world, in shame, in recognition that.......... They said it would be good for me, to get away from abnormality, to try out different skills, to be in the real world for a while. Balls. It hasn't been too bad. I did find normality after all. That never would have happened. If i hadn't, I would have been writing. Without writing, without reading, without whining, I am empty, though. This is what haunts me, the trembling noise of nothingness that dissipates from my every fiber. This is my fear, and the longer I go, the more I fear it, the more I see it coming to fruition. It will become a reality. And I its reality. I'm sick of being me. I want to sit in my sarung, on the floor, in my apartment, and mesmerized by whatever magazine I am reading. I want to hear myself laugh with excitement like I used to. I want to go running to my laptop unable to contain myself......... I miss me. I don't even really purr anymore. Even that is gone. There is no voice, just a smile, just otherdirectedness. That has become my life: meeting the needs of all around me, forgetting that I myself might have some needs. I am not even sure if I have any. I'm too empty to desire. It has died, And I with it. I need to let myself fall. It has been too long, too long since I really thought about what I want and need. I just get up every day, go to work, go to work and think about what must be done tomorrow....and in the process I forget about my dreams, I forget that this isn't what I want. Instead of being captured by ideas, I am captured by the mundane. Ironically, I would willingly love this, but without you, I'm not so sure I see the point. I *think* I miss you dear, and have been desperately since......... |
Wednesday 20/9
> I had my ICQ running while trading (last night) and there was this message from a visitor asking me to authorize her to be on my list. A girl from Bangsar, she wrote in German a little bit and I replied in French and German. That pretty much annoyed her and she wrote back saying you are full of yourself!.... hmmm... girls....> We were busy in the morning making preparations for the visit by KL Chief Police Officer, Datuk Kamaruddin and his entourage. The reception was being held at Phase 1 Community Center. The Chairman and Mr Kong briefed them on the progress of Phase 2, they also discussed about the opening ceremony for Phase 1 which to be attended by the Deputy Prime Minister sometimes in late October, or perhaps early November.
I just sat at the back, together with Edward and Simon, then Haji Othman (the MD) called and asked me to take the seat next to him. While Mr Kong explaining about quality control and progress of works in general, Haji Othman stood up and said, We have a Resident Engineer at the site to supervise the project, 24 hours a day. Here he is, his name is Zainal Abidin Aziz. And I was like, oh shit! now what do I do next? Wet my pants? 24 hours a day! That's total bullshit! I wanted to laugh but I guess that 24 hours a day joke was far too funny to make me laugh, so I just smiled. Dia orang ingat aku ni macam Seven Eleven kot?
I took the opportunity to mingle with other police officers (actually I
They spent about an hour inspecting a few floors of Phase 1 apartments, so I went back to the site and waited for them at the guard house.
They did not go up the sample units, they just watched from afar, takut kotor kot? Takut terpijak paku? Polis pun takut jugak rupanya...
> It rained heavily during lunch hour I managed to take a quick nap, then logged on to the net and checked some Olympic sites.
> The rest of the day was spent checking some M&E works, pressure test at Level 7, Block A, welding works at Level 5-14, Block B and electrical works at staircases 2-5, Block A & B. Damn, I now spend more time doing M&E than C&S works!
> It rained again at 4-30 pm, stopped for half and hour and resumed at 5-30 pm. I am still at the site office (Pantai Dalam) now (7-00 pm) , checking London LIFFE and doing some other things. No, I'm not manning a Seven-Eleven outlet...heh... I don't think I'll be coming to the trading office tonight, coffee looks like to play sideways again, what with Vietnam still unsure about joining other ACPC countries to retain 20% of thier coffee export.
Besides, I have to go home to Shah Alam to collect my snail mails. Me, myself & I sent me a wedding invitation and I hope she got the right address, I did not give her, she found it herself. What a smart girl!...heh....
Thursday 21/9
> I was at the site office until 10-30 pm last night, it rained, and rained and rained. Logged on to crbmarketcenter and "watched" coffee tanked again, it closed below 80 level, lowest in 2 weeks.Concreting works to columns and lift shaft was still going on when I left.
No, there was no invitation card in my mail box. Well, that's ok I guess.
> Inspection works at Zone A1, Level 15 lasted until 12 noon, I was dead tired having to climb up because the passenger hoist to Block A broke down again.
> When I was about to go for lunch I saw one kereta jenazah (a van carrying a coffin) parked next to my car, minutes later a few more cars/vans filled up the entire road leading to the grave. I asked their permission to help carry the coffin to the grave. I did not stay long because I had to go looking for Simon at Phase 1 so I went back to my car only to find it was blocked from all directions. So I just walked, met Haji Manaf (one of the Directors) at the entrance of Phase 1 apartment. He was looking for Zuraimi.
Failing to find Simon, I walked back to the burial ground, just in time for talqin.
.......see you later (tonight), Loch Ness Monster!....
-----------------------
> I did not go to the Brokerage Office again tonight, it rained quite heavily and I somehow knew coffee would tumble again and since I'm not comfortable going short at this price level I guess it's better if I just stay flat. But I have to keep watching the actions because coffee is such a crazy market (well, if you analyse the fundamental aspects you won't call it crazy but technicians, those who look at charts to trade, always say so) and it tends to swing violently to the opposite direction every time it touches new life-of-contract low.
Friday 22/9
> Oh, I forgot to tell you this.....I've been renting a room at Pantai Hillpark Condo (Phase 2) for almost a week now. I haven't met my housemates yet by the way, the three of us are busy with our own schedules, I'm taking the smallest room (RM 450-00), just a small room overlooking my project site. I haven't told anyone yet, well, except Nuar, my brother. I don't see the need to tell everyone.> One of the most boring days at work. And I played scrabble.
> London LIFFE coffee crashed on opening and touched new 8-year low, rumours about Vietnam, India, Indonesia not joining ACPC Retention Scheme weighed on the market. So I decided not to go to the Subang Jaya office tonight.
> Said my Isyak at the nearby mosque (it's not Kerinchi Mosque as what I thought), there was a religious talk by one Imam from Tampin. At first I wanted to leave but then decided to just stay a little bit longer so I sat at one corner, feeling sleepy, I started to fall asleep.
The Imam was talking about everyday life, pasal mati, pasal doa, zikir, benda-benda "biasa" (biasa kita dengar dan biasa kita tak buat). Yang buat aku tersedar tu bila dia cakap pasal zikir dan doa, semua yang dia cakap tu bertubi-tubi kena kat batang hidung aku, lepas satu, satu. Aku jadi "seronok" jugak dengar, dalam hati aku kata, "padan muka, itulah, buat tak betul-betul".
Banyaklah benda yang Imam tu ajar, dia buat lawak tu macam aku dia jadikan contoh, rasa-rasa macam dia tahu jer apa yang ada dalam hati perut aku masa tuh. Orang lain ramai jugak tapi apasal examples yang dia kasi tu semua mengena kat aku jer? Biasalah, airmata aku mengalir jer, aku biar, pasal aku duduk kat belakang, mana orang nampak.
Lepas ceramah tu aku rasa nak pergi ke depan nak peluk Tuan Imam, nak ucap terima kasih kat dia pasal menyedarkan aku. Cuma aku takut aku ni setakat sedar masa kat masjid jer, luar masjid buat hal lain, itu yang beratnya.
Masa dalam kereta aku tak pasang radio, aku zikir kuat-kuat, syok jugak, sampai siap geleng kepala sekali - Imam tu kata zikir elok dibuat kuat pasal hati kita ni hati yang keras jadi dengan zikir yang kuat akan jadi lebih effective, kuat jangan lebi-lebih, setakat kuat yang kita boleh dengar. Selama ini aku ingat zikir biar buat pelan-pelan, sebut senyap-senyap takut orang dengar. Tapi Imam tu kata lain pulak, ada betulnya, well, memang betul pun, kalau zikir etc buat pelan-pelan tak terasa sangat tapi kalau buat kuat tu rasa lain pulak, rasa semacam jer.
Satu jer, jangan sampai orang kata riak dahlah, tapi Imam tu kata pulak, biarlah orang kata riak asalkan kita buat dengan ikhlas pasal manusia sekarang ni penuh dengan syak wasangka, orang buat baik kita syak lain, kita buat jahat lagilah syaknya. Betul-betul betul kata Imam tu, orang sekarang ni suka syak wasangka.
Aku tak terus balik condo, aku pergi Lembah Pantai, pergi cyber cafe. Masuk jer, terus lupa nak zikir. Tengah-tengah surf tu bila teringat baru aku berenti sekejap..........
Saturday 23/9
Start spreading the newsI'm leaving
I want to be
Part of it
New York, New York
These vagabond shoes
Are longing to stray.....
After weeks of deep thoughts, I decided to close my account with the Trading House (Singapore), return my investors' monies and dump whatever profits I have into my account with that another Singapore-based Principal. I think it's about time I withdraw my investments, it's about time I trade using my own money, I think I can survive trading my own money. I'm a bit disappointed with some of my investors, all they know is money, money, money.
The main problem is that, I can't take/bring money in access of RM 10,000-00 in/out of the country. Just because of that stupid regulation, they call it "currency control measure", I am now in deep shit. Because I need to close my account in Singapore and I need to bring the money back to Malaysia. And it's a big sum.
The only solution is that, I have to open an account with a Singaporean bank, and take the money little by little, not exceeding RM 10,000-00 at any one time. I think that's the most stupid regulation ever.Bangangnya sapa yang buat regulation tu!
So I called the office in Singapore (no, I did not use my office telephone, I called thru' a pay phone, my handphone has been with that bloody repair man for more than a month now - that's another story) asking for ways to overcome the problem, giving a month time frame to have the money back to Malaysia.
I'm afraid it takes longer than that Sir, a few months perhaps. Because we are dealing with New York Exchanges, you know, we have to send the documents and wait for the other party to sign etc. Only then can we release the payment.
You mean this cannot be done within a month?, I started to raise my voice.
Well, unless you go to New York Exchange and deal with them personally. That's the only solution as I can see it.
You see, I have another account with another Singaporean Principal, can you just do something about it, I mean, can you just transfer the money to that company?
That'll not solve the problem Sir, to close an account in such a short notice you need to deal directly with the guys in New York. That's what I'm trying to say. I'll give you email addresses of persons to be contacted.
Andy gave me not less than 5 email addresses of officers to be contacted. I have to wait Monday because they don't work Saturdays.
--------------------
> Called Reliance Travel asking for return air tickets to New York, it's about RM 2500-00. I guess I need about RM 8000-00 to cover transportation, foods and accomodation costs for a week in New York. And I need to go to Singapore to open a bank account too. Heck, suddenly my life becomes so bloody interesting...
> I will have to apply for a week leave (from my day-time job) next month, I don't care if they don't approve it, I'll just go, I have to. I don't care if I have to quit giving a 24-hour notice, after all they have yet to give me my appointment letter. That will be a very good reason.
> So, next month I'll be in New York or Singapore. Or both.
Sunday 24/9
> Was at the site until noon, nothing much going on, the crane was still out of order - meaning no concreting works.> To Lembah Pantai for lunch but Samarkhand Restaurant was closed (baru semalam aku tau, restoran ni a group of penyanyi/bekas penyanyi yang punya, I only know Sheqal, yang lain tu aku tak tahu. Selama aku makan kat sini, tak pernah nampak pun. Yang lain tu tak gaya penyanyi pun, entahlah pasal semuanya pakai serban, semuanya bermisai berjanggut, nampak lain kot? Sorang tu, aku tengok muka dia bersih jer, aku suka tengok muka dia, muka tenang, muka orang beriman. Kalaulah muka aku macam tu kan elok, ini muka aku, aku rasa muka tension, even a taxi driver boleh perasan) so I had nasi ayam at the other stall nearby.
> Surfed the net at the cyber cafe for 2 hours, visited lots of sites about New York and Singapore. No, I don't have time to go visit all those nice places in New York, I only have less than a week to spend there, too short a time to have fun. Besides, I'm going there with a mission. To expedite the process of closing my account and have the money transferred back safely to Malaysia. And forget about staying at nice hotels, damn expensive, even International Youth Hostels charge up to USD 40-00 a night (for non-members). I did gather some informations on how to get to Wall Street from JFK Airport for free. Hehehe... Now how to get free ticket to go to New York Stock Exchange and watch that famous zoo-like New York Trading Floor?
> Drove to KL and parked my car at Plaza Putra, lucky The Actors Studio office was closed, otherwise I'd buy another ticket to see Charley's Auntie. The 3-00 o'clock show was still on, I could hear people laughing histerically even from the outside.
To Standard Chartered Bank to pay my bills, it rained when I was about to go to Masjid Jamek so I took shelter at the LRT Station. Was there for more than half an hour, standing and waiting like a fool.
> On my way to the gents for ablution, I saw Othman Hafsham and the rest of the cast (of Charley's Auntie) sitting at the back of The Actors Studio Box waiting for the next segment. The surau is just next to the studio by the way.
Belum habis lagi? I asked Azean Irdawaty, they were all (except Amy, Fash Stephenson, she was looking somewhere else I guess) looking at me.
Belum, she answered.
I was here on the first night and I'm thinking of seeing it again soon.
You saw? she asked me back.
Yeah, you guys are great.
Thanks, they answered in unison. I saw Othman Hafsham nodding his head, Kitty (Natasha Yusoff, she looks too English) smiling at me, but Amy, (Fash Stephenson) she was looking at something else I guess....
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Selamat Pengantin Baru pada sapa-sapa yang kawin harini...*ahaks*