Life Of A Typical Malay - December 1999

Yeah, I'm still alive...

Sunday 19/12/1999

Oh,sorry folks, sorry for not updating this journal. I'll be back soon. More colorful, more vibrant, better than ever...hope so...I hit "rock bottom" the last couple of weeks and that was the main reason why I was not online.

There were a few other reasons too - bitten by that millenium bug was one of them...*lol*

Note:-

I'll be going to Saudi Arabia to perform my small hajj (Umrah) Dec 28th for 18 days and will InsyaAllah be back January 13th, 2000. I'll InsyaAllah make a complete journal (with lots and lots of photos) of my journey. I really am looking forward to have my journal back online again.

In the meantime, here's some of my thoughts, my ramblings, my rantings, my words....just don't take it seriously. But most importantly, don't feel sorry for me. Cry if you want to but just don't feel sorry for me.

What's wrong with this guy anyway?...

Ok,let's get straight to the point. It has been quite a while since I last updated this journal. I guess it was one of those those days when you just don't feel like telling the whole world about what you have been doing. You just drop everything and go. Poof...The same bloody thing happened to me, I was not that busy but part of me refrained myself from continuing writing this diary, for a few weeks at least.

Just as you thought I was gone, here comes a bumper issue...*LOL*...

I'm back online now, back to journaling I guess. I consider journaling to be one of the best secrets of success. I personally believe it brings better and deeper results than any other growth tool. All I need is a little discipline, a little time and some drive to experience a tool that can change my life.

Journaling is a key to knowing oneself. If you say, "I know who I am," but you've never journaled, you have surprises in store. It enables us to better understand who we are by studying our thoughts when they are written down. Different journaling exercises encourage us to think in different ways. In our records of our thoughts, we can explore different sides of our nature. We can see beliefs that hold us back. We can get a glimpse of our potential and then see ourselves realize it. We can discover insights, creativity and wisdom we didn't know we had.

Journaling enables us to work with the vast resources of our subconscious minds. On the one hand, it causes information to be anchored more deeply in the subconscious because we can see the written word, some people sub-vocalize it and we become kinesthetic as we write. On the other hand, it allows us to retrieve information from our subconscious that is not normally available to us.

By writing things down we capture our flighty thoughts.

(You think about 60,000 thoughts per day. How many are you aware of?)

Our minds work at about 1000 words per minute, but when we write, the mind slows down to about 100 words a minute, allowing thoughts to be recorded more deeply and supporting a more focused, creative thinking process.

So, ok...

Where do I begin? I don't know. I did this once before - at some ridiculous hour of the night, when I was up only because I was too depressed or just didn't care enough to go to sleep. I need to vent somewhere. If I don't I'll kill myself. No. Just joking. I can't talk to my family, I'm drifting from my friends and I'm sure they don't want to hear it anyway, so I'm using my journal just because I need to pour this out. No, I'm not looking for sympathy. Far from it. I just need to type. What am I doing?

I don't know what it is, but I'm beginning to feel like everything around me is wrong.

Seeing new people annoys me. Seeing old people annoys me.

Writing messages to the same old people annoys me. Writing messages to some new people annoys me.

I feel like every conversation I have, I've already had before and everything I'm reading, I've already read before.

Surfing the 'net annoys me because I feel like there's nothing new and exciting anymore. Not surfing the 'net annoys me because I think that I may miss something new and exciting.

I just can't get rid of this vexing feeling of having done, seen and experienced everything. And so no matter what comes my way, it seems stale and vapid and boring. And then I'm tired of being me because I feel like I've already discovered everything there is to know about me.

The most exciting thing (..*LOL*..) about myself, I used to think, was the fact that there was always something new that I would learn about myself, but I haven't discovered anything new about myself in a long time and it's getting boring already having the same thoughts (even if they have some variation), the same predictable reactions, the same feelings to things.

Sometimes, I want to skip certain parts of my day or of my life but I can't because I'm always trapped in being me. And it's just so tiresome lately to be so predictable. And that was the reason why I kind of refrained myself from updating this journal. I hate to be predictable.

Or maybe I'm just grumbling because 1999 is almost over and I'm beginning to feel reclusive now that I failed to fulfil my resolutions.

Shut all my windows, shut all my doors, listen to Aztec Camera and not let anyone dare threaten me with doing something fun. Blah.

* * * * * *

There is a different demon that I've been up against lately. It is not angst, or terror, or fear. It is simply an intense, unmitigated boredom with life and everything related to it. It is a dragged-out drear -- a fine mist that permeates to the very core of my being, sapping my strength and blunting my feelings. It muffles any sparks and dampens my soul until there is nothing left worth whooping for.

It set in nearly a year ago, like a early morning sea-fog that slowly creeps over you and you wake up in its midst and see nothing but gray. Even sounds don't echo anymore. There is no end in sight, either. I keep telling myself that it will lift -- that the sun will burn it off and I will hear birds and notice rainbows again and life will move forward and I will feel ALIVE. But no. I fear it will be like this day after day, week after week, year after year, until my body withers, fades, and crumbles into dust.

I realized that everybody can do it. Most people better than me.

* * * * * *

Get back to the core, find out who I am, only it's falling endlessly inward and all that's at the center is one of those green sprouts you find in onions that've been on the shelf too long.

* * * * * *

Who *am* I? I know who I want to think I am, who I want you to think I am, but those feel like thin paper stretched over hoops and after the national anthem godonlyknows what's going to leap through. So let's hope they never stop singing.

Fear. My life is a series of beads strung on a thread of fear. A teacher once trained me to react to negative emotions with a search for the fears underlying them, but today this feels like pawing through a mass of cold spaghetti. Everything sticks to everything else and no easily definable strands stand out. I am afraid of everything, and nothing. I am afraid of being alive, but the void beyond terrifies me.

* * * * * *

My world is simple now, self-contained. No one bothers me. I could die tonight and it would be a few days before anyone knew. I feel an urgent need to *do* something, make my presence known, scream to the world that I'm real, I'm here, I'm alive. But it doesn't matter. Like the world gives a ****. This apartment has five floors of people, all of them just as intensely alive and all of them noticing me about as much as I notice them.

Most people make it in some way or another. It's all about establishing links and connections, isn't it ? I don't know for goodness sake, but somehow I never made it. Somehow, I was always outside. I never realized why. Were it always the fault of "the others" ? That answer would be to simple to accept, especially since I tried to start all over in different environments. It all come down to the same end: I didn't make it. So it must be my fault. I really never wanted much, I never longed for anything than being normal and being treated as normal. I made an effort towards it, but people denied me this acceptance.

Maybe I didn't try hard enough...

Last night, these thoughts came to my mind again. Maybe I'm just at a momentary downpoint, although I doubt it. It's more of an expectation of the future, what can I expect of myself ? Where is my life going ? Where will i stand in ten or twenty years from now ? Maybe I should just change now, if I wanna make it someday.

But I never had enough courage or self-confidence for a change. And how can you change if people expect another thing from you ? I never believed in the "just do it"-theory.

But what can I expect from myself ? I try to tell myself that it's not me who wants that, but it's society. I found out that I was wrong. It is something in me, and I don't know how to fight it anymore. Maybe I should just put up with it. I was convinced that was the way to go earlier on.

But things are changing, and I am not as convinced as I was before. Sure -- I can tell people that I am happy like that, and probably most of them would believe me. But those who got a clue wouldn't. ...and it wouldn't change a damn thing for me.

* * * * * *

Talking to people can help, but sometimes you realize there is nobody there to talk to. And many people just don't understand. Maybe it's because they don't want to, maybe it's because they have their own problems on their mind.

Those establish walls in our society, keep us seperate, although we might think we're together as a group. But once you look beyond this thin shell on the outside, you realize that most of us are alone. I don't believe I'm the only one with that feeling. It's just an unableness to communicate.

Maybe we would all be happier if we would. But it's hard - so hard. Most people always gave me a hard time about it, nobody ever came up to me. Yeah, right, they always say "make the first step!", but what if you slip out and fall before you go anywhere.

I can't tell anymore.

* * * * * *

A thickgray cloud looms over everything I do. My stomach is constantly knotted; my mind ever preoccupied. Why did I do that? That's so stupid. You should be doing this, not wasting time doing that. Get a hold of yourself. Take charge. Take control. Do something! Yet I'm afraid. Paralyzed from taking action lest it make things worse off than they already are. Afraid to be hurt. Afraid to be ridiculed. And just plain damned lazy.

Nothing makes me happy. Nothing makes me sad. I'm just here, day after day, wondering if I'll ever regain control of my life; wondering if I'll ever even want to try again. Things are simple; things are comfortable. If I do try, I might upset them. I might end up worse than I am now. But I can't go on like this. I'm so bored. I need to have some fun! I need the feeling alive. What will it take to break free of this intricate, impenatrable shell I've so carefully constructed over the past years?

* * * * * *

I look around and see other people that seem to be content with their lives and I *just don't get it*. Maybe I was born without that gene that allows me to be happy. My happiness comes in unexpectedly. It sneaks in every now and then, when I am not ex pecting it, and takes me by surprise. And it tricks me. It tricks me into thinking that yes, maybe there is a reason to live afterall. And then-boom-(or whatever)- it's snatched away from me and I realize that no, I am not like other people and I can't find happiness out of life. I realize that it is just a trick of nature- to make us think that we can be happy - so we keep on living in order to keep on searching for that happiness- and then nature is satisfied 'cos it got us to fufill its plan: reproduce our species.

But anyway, what led me to writing this craps again? I just got back from visiting some friends this past weekend. And it was horrible. I thought seeing them would take away my lonliness. But it didn't; it only made me miserable because I realized that once again I had separated myself from my friends. Caused yet another set of friends to fade away. I do that a lot. All of a sudden I feel distanced from my friends, and then I purposely, while at the same time screaming at myself inside my head to stop doing so, distance myself more. I can't maintain a friendship. I do this to myself, but I can't stop myself.

What is wrong with a person that has a bunch of people looking for him Saturday night 'cos they want to party with him, but he hides behind a tree and doesn't let them find him, and he sits there and TRIES to blame himself but can't, and just lets his friends go off without him and keeps on doing this until yes, he has completed a whole self-fulfilling prophecy: so convinced that nobody understands him and that he must be alone in life, that he causes himself to become that way. And he can't stop it. He just can't.

Why do I do this? I'm making myself miserable. And why do I stay up all night, knowing that I have to go to work the next day and will not be able to function well if I don't go to sleep? Why have I suddenly started taking up smoking, a habit that I find disgusting? Why do I love to drown myself. Why am I so self-destructive?

I hope life just isn't a big joke, 'cause I don't get it.

End of Part 1. Click on "next" to go to Part 2.


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