Life Of A Typical Malay - October 1999

Tuesday 5/10/1999

Watched Trainspotting for the second time, just to listen to some Scottish accent.

Tommy: Doesn't it make you proud to be Scottish?

Renton: It's SHIT being Scottish! We're the lowest of the low. Most people hate the English. I don't. They're just wankers. We're colonised by wankers. We couldn't even find a decent race to be colonised by. It's a shit state of affairs to be in, and no amount of fresh air is ever going to change that.

...well, I think I can understand that...pretty simple isn't it?...I remember long time ago (in Glasgow, Scotland) when I was on the bus after watching Scotland vs England, I joined them singing that song....

...if you hate the fu**ing english, clap your hands...
...if you hate the fu**ing english, clap your hands...

 .....hmmm....bad boy,Zainal....bad boy...

Wednesday 6/10/1999

I'm actually struggling this week for inspiration, I think I may have overdone it last week, but if I think of something I write it down then, although I have saved some of the stuff I've thought of for future inspiration emergencies. Like the following:-

I can never understand this thing about getting in touch with your inner self, I mean there are parts of my self that I like to touch, often quite frequently and rapidly, but the inner bits? They're on the inside for a reason, they're not meant to be touched, just leave them alone.

Which obviously came to me in a pretty desperate moment, but I'm not going to waste material however ridiculous it is. And that was the best of the bunch let me tell you.

Sometimes I wonder, what great adventure I can have. I watch movies where fantastic knights struggle valiantly with savage villains, where super heroes save the world from evil...

....and I wonder. What great adventures are there for me? What dragons can I slay? What new worlds are left for me to explore? Are the only demons left, those within myself?

Thursday 7/10/1999

Got woken up this afternoon with a knocking on my door from Mat. I'd half forgotten that he was coming, I grabbed a quick shower and in less than 10 mins we were already on the highway to Tanjung Malim.

Spent almost 2 hours with Alex, we talked commodity and stuff. Then to the mosque for Zohor, Haji Ramli invited us to his house, had a thick bubur durian (some kind of porridge) I almost chocked. Later we decided to take a walk to the nearby hall. Chatted with a few kampung folks. Then to Mah's coffee shop to give her a check of RM 600-00 ( her profits for September), she managed to convince me to buy some books on health and personal grooming. She's doing some kind direct-selling things.

Stopped at Fakrulradzi's office for a while, Subra was also there, they seemed a bit busy with new projects.

It rained all the way from Bukit Beruntung to Damansara exit, I did only about 40 km/hr, the visibility was less than 30 m.

Reached the office a bit late and since the market looked weak and did not show any direction, I went out for dinner, a quick one. I was a bit surprised to know that Kak Zainap and the rest managed to "hit and run" with 0.5 point profit when all the indications showed the opposite. It was pure luck, told them not to do that again, dangerous. We left early tonight, just before 12-00 midnight. Decided to go to KL, Kumar and Dominic were all excited to know about my progress, I did not tell them much about that "good news", too early perhaps.

Friday 8/10/1999

Another busy day today, checking reports, updating my charts, rushing to the banks and calling a few people to let them know about my plan of playing "long-term" instead of "intraday" which has become dangerous now for coffee price keeps hitting new life-of-contract low. Dollah agreed with my plan, Ariffin did not seem to understand.

Was on the phone with one Shamsuddin, he wanted me to be his agent for Khairat Kematian which to me is a good opportunity to help people who are less fortunate. You don't have to be rich to help the poor, that's what I'm trying to say here.

Left for Rawang at 3-00 pm, Ngah was out for facial treatment or something when I arrived. Wazi was fast asleep so I just spent the first hour helping Wawai doing her schoolworks.

Had a good chat with Ngah and Abang Ngah until 8-00 pm, we talked mostly about our pilgrimage experiences. Left after Maghrib, Abang Ngah gave me a bottle of Air Zam-Zam (holy water) and a kilo of dates, Kurma Mekah/Kurma Nabi.

It poured like nobody's business and in no time at all the road leading to the highway was filled with water gushing from everywhere. I was stranded there for more than 3 hours, many people just abandoned their cars, I wanted to but the I managed to inch my way and parked my car by the roadside. It was total chaos, I saw a few cars being swept away, water level rose very quickly and I just stood there soaking wet, not knowing what to do next. Called Ngah a few times, they were worried but I told them not to. Because I was not alone.

By 11-00 pm the situation started to improve and part of the road was open to the traffic. By 11-45 pm I managed to get out from that area and sped off to Shah Alam to get change.

Only Kak Zainap, Abang Miza, Hashim, Shah, Kak Siti and Haji were at the office when I got there. And they told me one bad news, we lost by 1.20 points tonight, wiping out profits we made so far.

Market is "crazy" tonight

No, market is never "crazy"....

Spent the next 30 mins with Hashim, analysing the stastistic. They entered market way too early and they overlooked the opening price which was lower than yesterday's closing. And getting short in that situation was a total gamble.

Saturday 9/10/1999
Oh, what a day today. Went to bed at 6-30 am only to wake up at 2-00 pm for my Zohor, then continued sleeping until 5-00 pm. Only then I realised something...I need to buy a present. A wedding present for Harga, he's getting married tomorrow.

I hate buying presents. No matter who they're for, I never seem to have any decent ideas. I try really hard to think of something original, but always end up with the same old stuff.

It's not that I dislike giving presents, I don't. The old adage of it being better to give than receive is fine, but the enjoyment is lacking somewhat when you know that the present about to be opened is somewhat lacking in originality.

I think part of it is that I think it's a bit daft really. When you're a kid, presents are a real treat, something you wanted but there was no way you were going to be able to get yourself, unless maybe you save up for years and years.

But as you get older, that part diminishes. For a while it gets to the point where a present is something you want, but hadn't got around to buying yet. And then it gets to the point where if you want something, you'll buy it yourself, and presents become obscure things that someone thinks you might have wanted.

So, off I went to Shah Alam Malls. Then to PKNS Complex, knowing exactly I'd be wasting my time. Then to Subang Jaya, I ended up buying one imported antic-looking table lamp. Perfect choice, so said the Sales Manager.

Sunday 10/10/1999
Went to bed a bit early this morning (3-10 am) so waking up to the sound of that damn mobile phone was not a problem. Did some surfing, visited some business sites, been visiting www.stockgeneration.com for days, just to get as much info. as posssible before sending them my hard-earned money. Buying stocks on the internet sounds good, but virtual stocks?

Left for Kuala Selangor at 11-10 am, locating Harga's house was not that difficult. Wanted to leave after having that delicious nasi minyak but his father asked me to stay a bit longer.

Bersanding about to start soon,just waiting for them to arrive", he said. I glanced at the grand-looking dais, smiling. So I waited for them to arrive.....

I left after waiting for about 45 mins, it was already 2-30 pm. To Tanjung Karang (Akak The's) and stayed until 6-00 pm. I was amazed by my little nieces and nephews (Qayyum, Iqhwan, Iqa and Ira) computer knowledge. The way their little fingers tapping the keyboard, clicking and moving the mouse made me smile.

Pak Itam, domain tu apa dia hah?

Server dia down-lah....

Goodness gracious, Qayyum is only 9 years old.

Took me nearly 2 hours to reach Shah Alam, traffic was heavy and it poured non stop. That gave me the opportunity to....you've guessed it... think... thinking about my life and what's been happening over the past year. It occurred to me that something strange had happened... stranger than usual, that is. It was around this time last year when I started getting dissatisfied with what I was doing at Proton City Project. My boss (in Japan) wanted me to work on other project, deep in the jungle soewhere on the east coast. So I secretly went for commodity training in KL, just imagine....I had to drive for 250 km a day (to and fro) after office hours. That was one of the hardest parts. It came to a head late October when I handed in my resignation, something they didn't want me to do. But it was the best thing I could have done.

Life is just too strange sometimes.

I was thinking if my experiences here would be of any use to other people, and I can only think that they are. I've always known (well, in the past few years I have) that the best thing to do, regardless of your situation, is to do what you believe is best for yourself, to do what makes you happy. Sometimes that means walking away from everything that is yours, from everything that you've ever known. If it's destroying who you are, then you don't need it. It's essential that you walk away from it, that you look for something that you would be happy doing. Not only do you regain your personal power at taking control of your life, but you'll end up being much happier with yourself and your situation.

There are plenty of stories out there of people who take control of their lives, who reject slavery and the expectations of others, so that they can find the happiness in their lives again. It often looks as if they're going backwards, or losing out on those things that they could have. However, more often than not, they are experiencing a life that is much happier than what they had before, all because they chose happiness over sadness.

When you prove to yourself and to the people around you that you have confidence to do what you believe is right for you, it shows them all that you have what it takes to succeed in this world. And personal happiness is probably the greatest success of all. Do what makes you happy, and you will be successful.

Well, I'm telling this to myself actually.

Fear prevents many people from doing what makes them happy. Fear of not having enough money to survive, fear of not finding anything better, fear of the unknown. They all play their part to prevent people from taking positive and affirmative action in their lives.

Fear is no excuse to live a life of unhappiness. If there is the remotest possibility that you can change your life for the better, even by doing what you think is going backwards, then that's what you should do. You should pursue it with a vengeance. Pursue it with everything you have, because if you let it go, then you let your happiness go. You enslave yourself to drudgery and to fear.

Are you happy with that?

You happy with that, Zainal?

Hmmm....where was I? Called Shamsuddin a few times, asked him to wait for me at Surau Section 2. To Section 6 and had our discussion there until 10-15 pm. I signed up as his Khairat Kematian agent.




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