Life Of A Typical Malay - October 2000
Saturday 14/10
> I went outside late last night just to sit for awhile on the
planters box
infront of the office, enjoying full moon on Friday the 13th.
A gorgeous, radiant moon shone up the sky.
Doesn't get much better than that at the end of a long day.
Still, something was missing; It simply wasn't dark enough,
and it wasn't the moon's fault.
The darkness was ruined by
high-intensity security lights mounted on the rear of
adjacent blocks, and monstrous street lamps bathing
entire areas in glaring, artificial light.
Not much can be done about street lamps, but those
damn security lights, unnecessary in this area, are
nothing more than environmental pollution.
People seem to want "daylight" 24 hours a day. Turn the
damn high-intensity lights out for a little while!
Enjoy the moon and the stars; They provide all the light you need.
> Have you ever had the feeling that you're in for a big fall,
but still know you can't back away from where you are going?
For me, it sometimes feels like I'm in a dream state,
watching myself from above, but not really able
to control the actions of the person I see heading toward the cliff.
I often find myself with a battleground of sorts
going on in my head. On one side are my emotions,
urging me to follow wherever my heart leads,
even knowing that there'll be a price to pay later.
On the other side is my logic, weighing up the risks,
looking at the pros and cons...telling me that it won't be worth it.
Which voice should we listen to? Actually, I don't
think there's a "right" or "wrong" answer to that question.
There are good and bad sides to both. Looking back at
some of the things I've risked in my life
(that didn't end up working out), I wonder if I'd had
made a different choice, if I had it to do over again,
and knowing how it was going to work out.
In many cases, the answer is no.
Which is better...bicycling along a nice smooth flat
(boring ?) road...or racing down thrilling (dangerous ?) hills,
only to have to cycle back up the other side again?
For me, it depends on my mood, and my energy level.
I like a little of both, I guess. One thing I've learned,
though...there's no such thing as "It's all downhill from here."
Well, maybe there is. It just means we have to be
willing to go up the hill first, is all.
Man, I am so shallow it hurts. One day, maybe one day I
will allow myself to be ruled by
my brain instead of my di errrrrr.....
---------later today [ I'm off to the travel agent (Reliance Travel) to collect my passport, the US Embassy called this morning and they asked me to come for interview this coming Monday, drats....it's so hard to have my visa approved. Oh, I'm crossing my fingers, my toes, my...even harder...heh] ------------
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sorry, no update, I'm tired of those damn yankees...heh...besides, I'll be working tomorrow.
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Sender IP: 194.82.103.43
Subject: From Your Web Page
Hi Z! I definitely think u should take off somewhere for a holiday, a real holiday. You ni tak pernah cuti ke? Workaholic gitu. Maybe that''s what u need. Someone told me before, Once a year, go someplace you''ve never been before..it does wonders for me. You should try it. But if New York is your holiday (I tak tau hujung pangkal ''bout ur NY trip actually, dah ages tak b - salmonns
Hi there salmonns, nice to have you back.
--------------------
Sender IP: 161.142.112.8
Subject: From Your Web Page
assalamualaikum,
oo.. siap cerita pasal my e-mail in you journal.. takpe.. takpe..- me,myself & I
Sunday 15/10
> I was tired and
sleepy and didn't feel too good about having to go for
interview (tomorrow) to get my visa approved I went to bed early.
For the first time in ages I retired to bed at 10-00 pm last night.
> Reached the site at 10-00 am, went straight to Block A, Level 16 for inspection. I was so satisfied with the works I quickly ordered them to proceed with concreting, the formworks, laying of BRC, everything was done beautifully.
> Spent the rest of the day
online, exchanging emails with a few Traders in New York,
they offered me some advice, some even ofered to take me to
tour the World Trade Center, entahlah,
diaorang ni ingat aku ni bagus sangat kot? aku kampung jer,
tak naklah aku memalukan diri aku. Nanti sure diaorang gelak
tengok aku don't take alcohol, don't eat meat etc.
Lagipun, diaorang ni kelas-kelas,
typical Wall Street professionals, twice my
age pulak tu, itu yang aku tak nak tu.
Aku nih, visa pun belum dapat dah plan bukan-bukan,
I'm scheduled to fly on the 28th and it's already 15th now, 1
3 more days, and yet I haven't got my visa approved.
God, help me please....
> Came across this personality
test when surfing some sites just now, tried to answer
a few questions but I didn't like their replies so I quit,
2 of the questions I managed to answer:
1. You've just parked your car at the bottom of a hill when you see an
out-of-control school bus come careening down from the top? What's
your first thought?
a: "How can I save them?"
b: "Aww, those poor kids."
c: "I better move my car."
I answered C and the reply I got was this:
You're basically a jerk, but with minor nice guy tendencies. Tone
down that self-centeredness a little. Try to occasionally think
before you speak. And if you can't do that... run for office. You'll
feel right at home in politics.
Darn,
I was trying to be honest...
2. You've gotta break up with a woman. What's your line?
a: "It's not you, it's me."
b: "Sorry, but it's just not working."
c: Line? Just don't call her. She'll get the hint.
You're basically a nice guy, but with minor jerk tendencies. You're
normal and you'll probably make a great husband for some woman...
someday when she stops dating jerks.
Double darn....
> Went out for lunch a bit late,
drove to Pantai Dalam and stopped at one of the flats along
the main road, wanted to say my Zohor there but the surau was
locked. Had a quick lunch instead, read Jazmin J's journal too
....opppsss...I have a confession to make...heh..
A confession? On a Sunday?
Ok, on-line, I only read 2 journals (Mat Jan's and mine -
I find Mat Jan's simple yet amusing,
and of course I have to read mine, otherwise it defeats the purpose
of having a diary) I know there are a few journals (by Malaysians)
on the net but I don't find them worth reading....ooppsss...ok,
ok, put it this way....I don't have the
time to read other people's journals, I very much want to but
I simply don't have the time to do so.....
Huh...Thank God,
that was close...[ Well, don't get me wrong, I'm just practising my right as a man! ]
Ok, where was I? Yeah, offline, I read Ted Miles' and Jazmin J's.
Ted has his Past Notes in The New Sunday Times and Jazmin
has a column called Jazmin's Journal (bi-weekly) in
The Sunday Sun. I have this love-hate relationship with Jazmin's Journal (she's a thirtysomething journalist)
I think she's a big-headed girl (?) but I keep reading her journals, damn it! (Some of readers of my journal think I'm big headed too but they keep coming back here day in day out, so we have something in common guys!.....heh...)
> Took a cab to
KL about Maghrib, spent a few minutes at Central Market, then to
KotaRaya. Was so happy to see .net
magazine October issue I bought it and headed straight
to the train station. Drove to Subang Jaya office and spent
a few hours reading the mag, cover to cover. Hmmm...I missed all
June, July, August and September issues, that means I have saved
RM 160-00.
Logged on to the net and farted online until 1-00 am,
checking a few travel sites, mostly about accomodations around
New York area. Also trains (Amtrack) and bus (Greyhound)
schedules/fares to neighbouring cities, Baltimore, DC, Boston etc,
it takes about 8 hours (by coach) to reach Charlottsville,
Virginia and about 5 hours to Philly. I very much hope
to be able to go to these 2 places, I want to go to Schyler, Virginia,
I want to visit Waltons Mountains, I want to see John
Boy's house,
I just want to fulfil my childhood dreams dammit!
I'm getting married soon and I want that dream fulfilled.
If possible I also want to go visit the Amish settlement
[yeah, blame it on Witness!],
I want to have my pic taken infront of that famous
welcoming board Welcome To Intercourse...heh, yeah,
there's a town near the settlement called Intercourse,
and not far from there is another town called Blue Balls.
Funny!
> Left for Shah Alam
to collect my old passport and some snail mails, to Section
3 but the 2 restaurants (Khalifah & Syed) were closed so
I drove to Section 2 and grabbed a packet of sandwich and
a can of coke. Man, I was hungry, tired and mentally exhausted!
> It was already 3-00 am
by the time I reached KL, and instead of going home, I drove
to the mosque, parked my car right infront of the gate
and started to sleep. (If I were to sleep at my condo,
sure lambat bangun, kalau dekat
masjid aku boleh bangun awal bila azan pasal aku kena pergi
Embassy first thing in the morning) Then I heard a strong,
sad-sounding voice coming from the mosque.
Suara
orang berzikir, sayu jer bunyinya, aku jadi serba salah,
malam-malam macam nih, orang buat ibadat, aku nak tidur pulak.
So, aku masuk masjid tu, ambik air sembahyang, lepas tu aku tegur
Pakcik tuh, rupanya pakcik yang buta tu. Bagi dia 5 ringgit.
(Dia ni quite a popular
figure kat KL, mungkin you all pernah tengok)
Lepas sembahyang,
aku tanya Pakcik tu, dia duduk mana and stuff like that,
dia kata asai kat Padang Lumat, Yan, dekat kedai Cik Ya,
la ni duduk
kat Kondo Rakyat, aku kata oklah, aku boleh hantar.
So, aku hantar dia, dalam kereta aku tanyalah, buat apa
kat masjid malam-malam (aku tahu, soalan tu soalan bodoh),
dia kata dia berdoa. Dalam hati aku nak sangat tanya,
apa yang pakcik doa?, tapi aku senyap jer. Dia kata,
Pakcik ni minat politik, Pakcik doa biar PAS menang
kalau ada pilihanraya. Aku katalah, tak apa Pakcik,
saya dulu pun pangkah PAS jugak, InsyaAllah PAS menang nanti.
Dekat Kondo tu memang susah nak park kereta
so aku parked jauh sikit, aku pimpin jer dia.
Sepanjang kitaorang berjalan tuh, aku tenung dia
lama-lama (dia buta, dia tak nampaklah aku buat apa) ,
aku rasa sedih sangat, kalaulah aku jadi macam tuh,
macamana agaknya? Tapi dalam sedih-sedih tu aku rasa
nak tergelak pulak, aku rasa kitaorang sebijik
macam dalam filem Rainman, aku jadi Tom Cruise,
Pakcik tu jadi Dustin Hoffman, kalau you all tengok filem
tu memang sebijik kitaorang macam tuh, Tom Cruise perati jer
abang dia (Dustin Hoffman) yang cacat tuh, dia ikut jer, dia sedih,
dia pelik, dia rasa amazed pasal abang dia tuh gifted.
Pakcik tu pulak, dia jalan macam orang celik, dia dah biasa rupanya,
cara dia nak naik ke rumah dia dari tingkat bawah tu yang buat aku
terkedu sangat. Dia bilang, ada sepuluh tiang kat pagar surau,
take this right turn and walk for a few steps and you'll see a
letter box, then turn to the left , dia
cakap macam tuh.
Bila dia dah selamat sampai, I drove
back to the mosque, aku tidur dalam kereta,
sedar-sedar ada orang ketuk kereta aku, aku tengok jam, pukul 7-00 .
Arrgghhh!!!!! Apasal tak ada orang kejut aku? Takkan diaorang
tak kenal kereta aku yang selalu park kat situ masa Zohor? Aku dalam
kelam kabutnya terus sembahyang, lepas tu balik kondo, mandi
etc ......
Monday 16/10
...then drove to Angkasapuri station. Kommuter
penuh, taxi penuh,
I wasted nearly an hour at the bus stop, then I decided to
just drive to the Embassy. Wasted another hour on the road,
reached the Embassy at 9-15 am, been to a few Embassies before
but their security checks are nothing compared to what
being practiced by those Americans.
For a moment I
thought Clinton was in town. And the guy manning the counter
was downright rude, very rude American, lucky I had everything
in order. Macamlah Amerika tu bapak dia
punya!
While waiting for my number to be called (by the way, the waiting
was like forever, I saw a few sad and smiling faces)
I chatted with one
Indian guy who looked so nervous, It's like going to a battlefield,
it's so hard to get a visa unless you are a government servant or
a student or you are going on a package tour.
They don't really entertain independant travellers like us, he
said. Where and when
are you heading?, I asked him back. New York, October 28th.
Wow, same city, same date!
Number 393, Window 5. Number 393, Window 5.
[Dratttsss!!!.....that's my number......drattsss!!!!!]
Hiya! Mornin' Sir!
Hi, mornin', how are ya doin'?
Not bad, Sir. Thanks. And how are ya
doin'?
Not bad either. I see you are going
for holidays, been to the states before? [and he flips my old passport]
Yeah, just a short break, been to LA before
but that was during my student days, long time ago. Just for a few days anyway.
Where are you heading this time around then?
For how long?
New York, Sir. Just over a week, my return
flight is on Nov 5th, still on standby list by the way. The next
available flight is on the 8th.
Why New York? How about other cities? You are
not on package holidays, are you? On your own?
I always wanted to go to the big apple Sir,
I go for holidays abroad once a year and this year
I've decided to go to New York for a short break,
provided I get my visa approved. Maybe next year I'll go
for extended holidays to other parts of America, for my
honeymoon perhaps.
Haaa...you're
getting married ay? I suggest you go to Virginia, I'm from a place called Huntington
Yes Sir, early next year, Sir. They say, Virginia is for lovers, hope it is true...
Quite right. So, you are going on your own?
Yes, Sir
--and he checked my passport-he flipped the old passport too-he checked copies of my bank statements-he read my letter-he checked my J (income tax) form-he read the other letter-he checked my new passport again-he circled my visa application form-and he stamped it
You can have all these documents back [and I was like, oh shit! that's it, I'm doomed, that's the end of my world]
You can arrange for someone to collect your
passport tomorrow, 2-30 to 3-30 pm, at the front gate.
Thank you, Sir. Have a nice day!
I was so happy I went straight to the gents, and yessssssss, yessssssss, yesssssss...... I lifted the toilet cover up, penuh taik, cib.., arrggghhh...kegembiraan aku disambut dengan taik rupanya. Tak sangka jugak, dekat US Embassy boleh kotor macam tuh.
> Reached the site just after lunch hour, a bit quieter than usual,
everybody looked so gloom. Ting told me about another police raid, they arrested more than 100 illegal immigrants. These Sub Contractors, why do they have to employ workers that do not have proper documents? Anyway, I think I was the only happy person
at the site today, I had my own reason.
> Left for Subang
Jaya at 5-00 on the dot, checked London LIFFE, had "lunch/dinner",
then to Shah Alam after Maghrib.
Market was just about to open when I arrived about
an hour later. For some reasons, coffee rallied by 7 %,
highest in 3 months, dryness in coffee regions over
the weekend and forecast for another dry warmer week, so said bridge.news.
> I was so damn sleepy
I just dozed off only to wake up at 3-00 am.
Tuesday 17/10
> I don't feel like writing long entry today, I'm a bit tired,
tired for not doing a thing! It was such a boring day at
the site today, it rained early in the morning and the site was almost
deserted.
> Was at the US Embassy again
this afternoon, collecting my passport. Now I can proceed with
confirming my return tickets, called Cristha (Reliance Travel)
asking her to have the tickets ready by Thursday. I need to
pay another RM 2375-00, I've already paid four hundred something,
including visa fee and ticket booking.
--------later----------
Wednesday 18/10
> Not in a good mood today, especially after what happened
last night at the office. Coffee on New York CSCE soared for
the second day and all we did was just sat there cursing ourselves
for not entering positions. The fundamentals are all there, dry
and warm weather in most coffee growing regions in Minais Gerais,
Brazil for the next 10 days. Only Parana state in the south
will receive isolated
scattered showers but the coverage will be less than 30%.
Coffee trees need constant rain during flowering season,
and like last year (when coffee both on London LIFFE and
New York CSCE rallied by 70%) the pattern this week was
almost the same.
And yet we just sat there doing
nothing, we got te news (weather forecast) at 9-39 pm and
when we checked satellite photo (animated) of South America,
it showed clearly patches of clouds going further away from
the mainland. Prices kept going down and we thought the market
didn't buy the news.
We wanted to get in but waited
a little bit
longer with the hope of getting lower figure, about
an hour later it surged from nowhere and within minutes
it rallied by 10%, we could have made USD 5000-00 each
last night alone. Dratttssss! Tak ada
rezeki agaknya. Coffee has become weather market again looks like.
-------------later-----------[i'm so lazy to update this journal....arrgghhh!!!]
Thursday 19/10
> I drove home from work, pulled up to my condo unit,
and was shocked at how dark the place looked.
The light from only one lamp shone through the blinds on
the front window. It looked so cold, and I didn't even
want to get out of my car. The short walk from my parking spot
to the front door felt like a mile.
And, like so many times before, once I open that door,
the emptiness startles me; It's like a punch to the stomach.
Empty . . . and much too quiet. I shook my head,
threw my bag against the wall and headed to the kitchen for a
cup of tea.
No human touch at all..... no nothin'.
Too empty . . . too quiet.
So, today will be one of those days that
I'll sit around feeling sorry for myself.
I'm distracted; I can't focus. Consequently,
my work suffers, and, more importantly, my life suffers.
How long does it take to get past these kinds of days?
Maybe never, huh? Well, I'll deal with it.
> Another boring day at the site,
the project looks set to be delayed, what with Tan's
(Main Contractor's Project Manager) resignation at the end
of the month and shortage of manpower, the workers are
now scared to go to work, scared of
another police raids. They usually cast 8 zones
(4 levels - 2 at Block A and another 2 at Block B)
of slabs a month but this month they only casted 3 zones so far.
The next one will be this Saturday and another zone is scheduled
for 28th.
> Waited for Zuraimi but he
did not turn up, he promised to be at the site early in the
morning to collect past Progress Reports. I wasted my day just like that. I was supposed to go and make my tickets payment today but had to postpone it, Christa called and reminded me to make the payment before 12 noon tomorrow, otherwise the airline will cancell my
booking. Darn.
> I don't know what's wrong
with my car, scratching irritating sound keeps coming from the
engine and it drives me crazy. I know nothing about car, arrgghhh!
I don't even know how to change engine oil, and flat tyres
too...ooppsss...
> To Pantai Dalam and bought a
few kilos of rambutans, bananas, tangerines and oranges,
banyak aku beli pasal esok Jumaat, orang
lebih ramai dari hari biasa, nak hantar kat
UiTM Islamic Center for the last time this year, they
will be going for holidays soon I guess. - 3-15 pm -
-------------later-----------------
> 9-00 pm: Subang Jaya:
Was in Shah Alam just now, hantar buah-buahan
tu kat Islamic center, UiTM, it was so quiet,
surprised me because I thought the place would be crowded,
yer lah, malam ni malam Jumaat kan?
Pelik jugak aku, biasanya masa examlah orang ramai "sedar", mintak doa banyak-banyak. Mungkin
orang sekarang ni masa "dekat" exam jer yang beria-ia,
masa exam taklah seberia masa "dekat" exam. Pasal diaorang sibuk.
Itu aku agak sajalah, agakan aku selalunya salah.
Buah tu aku tinggal jer kat tingkat atas tu,
ada aku pesan pada dua orang "budak" yang tengah lepak kat
situ suruh diaorang tolong cakap pada Imam, pasal aku nak cepat, markets dah nak bukak.
-----------later perhaps [kalau aku rajinlah,kalau tak tuh, ini saja]---------
Friday 20/10
> Markets was so damn slow
last night (a pullback after 2 days of sharp gains) I went to
sleep at 12 midnight, it rained, and I woke up at 6-30 am. Drove
home (Pantai Hillpark), took a shower and had breakfast at Pantai Dalam. Was at the office at 7-50 am, read newspapers, did some filing works, checked market reviews and by 9-30 am I was at Block B for some inspections. They have already started with tiling works (walls), internal plastering works is a bit delayed now.
> I was supposed to attend a
Safety & Health Meeting at 11-00 am but instead asked the Clerk-of-Works (Tukijan & Edward) to be there. Left for Sungai Wang
by cab, Christa made a slight mistake, she printed 3/11/2000 as
my return date and since the ticket had already been issued she
asked me to have the date reconfirmed at any travel agents
in New York. So, I'll (InsyaAllah) be leaving on 28th Oct,
on MAS MH 90 (transit in Dubai,UAE) at 10-30 pm, returning 5th
Nov, 11-15 am (New York time). God, I can't believe next week I'll
be in New York.
-----------see ya tonight--------
> 9-00 pm:
My head is spinning, I feel sleepy and tired the moment I
reach the office in Subang Jaya. It's always like that,
I can't concentrate. I have to do something looks like,
take a quick nap before trading starts for example.
> Has anyone introduced online journalling to our humble Selangor Chief Minister, Dr Khir Toyo,
now that guy has some serious
issues to resolve if not at least vent about. Stop complaining
about Datuk Nik Aziz will ya, Dr!
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