Monday 17th March 1997
Sarah is in the café trying to complete her homework in the half an hour before school. Claire and Sonia are reading a teen magazine out loud and discussing snogging technique which makes Sarah slightly hysterical. Sue turns up to discuss the Easter service and says she doesn't have time to help Sarah any more, and Sarah runs out even more hysterically, bumping into Joe at the bus stop as she misses her bus. Joe tells her he saw Alistair and Sue snogging after the meeting the other night, so Alistair is obviously deceiving her about his holier-than-thou attitude. Peggy tells Grant she will have to bring forward her and Ben's birthday party because George is going to be away on the day. Grant tries to tell Peggy he's asked Tiffany for a divorce but Lorraine butts in and the moment passes. She tells Grant she thinks he's being hasty and he seems over-enamoured with the baby and may change his mind about it, and she notes he's still wearing his wedding ring. He says that's easily solved, and he tries take it off, but it's stuck and he can't - he says he'll need a bit of soap. Later he shows the ring to Lorraine, who asks what he's going to do with it. He says he doesn't care, it was only 15 quid anyway. Lorraine tells him he can go and see the baby if he wants anyway, she doesn't mind as she knows how much he thinks of it. Grant suggests it would be better if they had their own baby. Lorraine is astounded and horrified by the suggestion, and says he's rushing things again, and she's finished her family. Grant says why not, and she says she has a lot of good reasons, thank you. Tiffany is loving all the attention as she sits on the sofa with a huge box of chocolates. She has a "short" list of baby names, and her only rule is no names ending in "y", as they are soft girly names, she tells Bianca when she visits. She also tells her that motherhood is a doddle, everyone is doing everything for her, she feels like a princess, and all this stuff about it being hard work is exaggerated. Tiffany also says that she's hopeful about the future with Grant, because of the huge effect the baby had on him, and she thinks he will change his mind. Bianca says cynically she'll come back in 6 months and see if Tiffany still thinks so. Peggy turns up with a large bunch of flowers to coo over the baby, and Tiffany breaks the news that Grant has asked her for a divorce. Tony sees Sarah in the café and invites her to their house to see the baby, since she might be its aunt. She starts to whine about sin but he says he has the baby's best interests at heart, and everyone is coming over. Lenny, Huw and Bianca are there, and Tiffany is talking about names. She's keen on naming it after a strong woman and Simon has suggested Eartha Kitt and Janis Joplin as suitable role models. Bianca and Tony think she needs something more modern, and Huw follows the line of dead rock stars and suggests that wife of a rock star who killed himself, what was her name and Lenny says, yea, Courtney. Tiffany says that's a great idea. Bianca points out it ends in a “y” and Tiffany says she can always change her mind. Sanjay and Gita leave the stall in the capable hands of his mother for a few minutes to see Dr Legg about the IVF. Bianca asks Gita why Sanjay was at the doctor's and Gita tells her not to be so nosy. They discover there's a 2 year waiting list and Gita suggests that they go private, using Sanjay's inheritance money. He's doubtful about how long it will take to get any money, especially since it's in India. Lenny's gloating about Mr King's tips, and arranges a party with the proceeds, and Huw and he decide to "make a cake" and Lenny's tips will pay for a special ingredient. Huw nobbles Robbie, saying that he could easily fix it so that he gets the job and it will be worth his while if he reschedules jobs so that Lenny doesn't get all the Mr King jobs. Alistair turns up at Frankie's door for an "emergency." Frankie invites him in, looking slinky. He asks what the emergency was. She says she wanted to talk to him. He's furious and says he thought it was a real emergency, and he doesn't like being called out on false pretences. Frankie says it's a spiritual crisis. Alistair says he's going home, and Frankie cadges a lift to the video shop. When they get there, she says she thought maybe she could go home with him? Alistair says no. She asks if she can still come to the meetings and he says of course, and he is there for her as long as it's church business. She kisses him goodbye for this crumb of comfort just as Sarah is standing across the road. She is horrified and her mood is mounting into totally manic panic. Ted sees her and calls out to her, but she is on far too urgent business to stop for him. Ted chases her and she hides in the Arches, Ricky covering for her to Ted. She snivels a bit and Ricky gets her a coffee to calm her down. Ted goes to Tony's and asks him to pass on a message asking Sarah to babysit for Kathy tomorrow night. Sarah tells Ricky that she feels let down and all the people she trusted seem to have betrayed her and she is confused. Bianca turns up asking Ricky for a chat, and Sarah says she was just going. Bianca asks him what she's doing there, and Ricky says she just needed someone to talk to. Sarah then goes to Tony's and says she doesn't know what to believe any more, but she can't tell him the details. She agrees to babysit tomorrow though. Sarah sees Frankie, and asks her what is going on. Frankie enjoys the pretence that something is and compounds Sarah's suspicions, saying that no man is above temptation. Sarah says that Alistair is engaged to Sue, and wouldn't do that: Frankie laughs and says "yes, and I'm the Archbishop of Canterbury." Ricky and Phil chat, and Phil says he's coming back to work. Ricky asks him to be best man for his wedding. Phil is pleased, and agrees, but they have to return to work problems as Ricky reports that the tuner is not working, and it is holding up his work. Sarah decides to go and see Alistair, after her panic-stricken conversation with Frankie. She bangs on his door desperately, and he answers quickly, although clad only in a robe. Sarah shouts hysterically at him "can I trust you?" He asks what she's talking about, but she simply screams the same question at him, saying she doesn't know if she can trust him, and she needs to talk to him NOW. He says it's inconvenient, he was about to have a bath, but she barges in and finds Sue clad only in a sheet standing in the middle of a mess of pillows and sheets on the living room floor. Alistair looks away and Sarah runs out of the house even more hysterical than she ran in.
Tuesday 18th March 1997
Sue finds Sarah in the café and starts to explain but Sarah runs out, bumping into Bianca and dropping all her school books. Robbie is walking by and helps her pick them up while Bianca tells her to watch where she's going. Robbie asks her what's wrong, and is she OK, and Sarah says he's very sweet. She goes off and Bianca makes fun of Robbie, saying one thing he isn't is sweet. Robbie blushes, and Bianca taunts him saying he still fancies Sarah doesn't he? Tiffany receives forms from the CSA, so she has to inform them who the father is. She goes to see Peggy and asks her to tell Grant she needs to talk to him. Peggy says she can go and see him but Tiffany asks if Lorraine is there and when she is told yes, she declines. Later Grant finds her in the café and is very affectionate to the baby, but coldly tells her that she will have to put "father unknown" on the CSA form, as it is the truth. He immediately starts to worry about the CSA, and later asks Phil if he would mind if he put everything into his name, since even if they don't know for sure, the CSA aren't going to chase a penniless Tony when there's someone with a business and assets to support the baby. Phil says why doesn't he get the blood test done to find out for sure before he panics? Huw and Lenny shop for all the ingredients of a cake and Ian happens to be in the shop at the time. They tell him they're having a party, and of course he's invited. Sue looks for Sarah, and asks Ted, who has to be reminded who she is, and then says he thinks she's at her brothers, no 47. Tony's cheering her up and asking what's the matter, since she was obviously upset yesterday and is still very upset. There's a knock on the door, and Tony says he will get rid of them. However, it's Sue, and Tony asks if Sarah wants to see her. She agrees, and Tony makes himself scarce. Sue says she needs to explain to Sarah about what she saw. She says that she and Alistair were indeed tempted, but before they could do anything, Sarah arrived, and it was as if she was sent and they were stopped from doing anything by her arrival, and nothing happened at all, honestly. In fact, it was almost a miracle. Sarah says she doesn't believe her at first, but Sue is fairly convincing. Sarah says they are hypocrites and betrayed God, and does Sue know about Alistair and Frankie? Sue says yes, Alistair has told her all about Frankie - she's obsessed with him but he has never responded. She says she hopes Sarah believes her and nothing happened between her and Alistair but it's very important that everyone trusts them, so if it got out what she saw.. has she told anyone else. Sarah says don't worry she hasn't. Tony reappears, and Sue leaves. Sarah says she's more confused than ever now. Tony persuades her to tell him all about it, and when she tells him the entire story, says they must think you were born yesterday. He explains - no-one would get up and answer the door just before they're about to do it, and it's obviously a load of rubbish. The tuner is totally broken and Phil is annoyed and says they're about £3,000 and rings around trying to get a replacement while Ricky is out with Bianca. Phil finds one available but the guy wants cash up front. Phil says he can't get that today, but then after a bit of chat, says OK, he thinks he can borrow it, and he'll be over to pick it up - just give him directions. He takes Ricky's £3,000 out of the safe and dashes off leaving no indication of where he has gone. Meanwhile Bianca is showing Ricky the letter from the reception stating that they have to pay the deposit now to reserve the room. She tells Ricky to get the £3,000 out and they can pay it tomorrow, and he might as well bring the rest as they will need to pay other bills too. He says he'll bring it after work. Robbie asks Huw for the cut he was promised and tells him he'll tell Lenny otherwise. Huw reluctantly gives him a tenner, and Robbie buys boxing gloves. Later Lenny looks at the rota and notices Huw has a Mr King trip. He says how suspicious that Robbie has suddenly got some money and he laces up the gloves for him, then as the phone rings he leaves saying Robbie had better answer that hadn't he? Frankie sees Huw and Lenny cooking and says she hopes there's nothing naughty in the cake, after all you don't need drugs to get high. They look at her and she laughs and says she's just doing her homework for the Christian group. They says is that the Christians or just one particular Christian you're so keen on? She tucks her bible under her arm and Alan catches her leaving the house all dressed up and asks where she's going. She refuses to tell him and he's furious, since it's obvious exactly where she's hoping to go. She turns up at Alistair's having discovered he wasn't at work today so was at home. She insists that it is church business, and that it is a spiritual problem. She waffles on about the fact that she is shallow and self-obsessed and he's the only man who has seen through her because all the others just fancy her. She says he's not taken in by her, is he - does he fancy her at all? He says he doesn't think they should be having this conversation, but she starts talking about her childhood. She says she was brought up by some "religious nutters, err religious people," who made her go to Sunday school, and she always remembers the story of Mary Magdalene, a prostitute who Jesus let follow him around all the time. Alistair grasps the cue gratefully and says yes, and in fact she was the first person to recognised Jesus. Frankie is not deflected for a moment and she goes on, so there is hope for me isn't there - you can help me. Alistair still says no. Alan is wandering around the square bored and upset, and goes to see Carol, who is obviously rattled by him coming "just to see her", and tells him to leave. He goes home and Frankie finally turns up. He says she's been gone all day and who is it she's seeing? She says can't he guess, and of course it's Alistair, not only is he a very interesting and well-read person, but he's also fantastic in bed, and if Alan doesn't like it he might as well pack his bags right now and go back to Carol. Tony goes to the Vic and Lenny mentions their party later, and that they have a cake. Ian overhears this. Tony says he's not into that any more, but he may come to the party. Alan is upset and wanders out into the square, where he sees Sarah. He goes over to her and asks if Alistair shafts every woman in the group or just the ones he fancies? Sarah says in horror, of course he doesn't, and Alan says well, Frankie has just told him so next time she sees Alistair just give him a message, and tell him to keep his hands off Frankie. Sarah runs up to Kathy's door almost in tears. Kathy says Ted told her that she hasn't eaten yet, so she has ordered her a pizza, a vegetarian special, and the money is here, OK. Sarah says yes, distractedly, and Kathy goes off to the party to wait (a long time) for Phil. Sarah picks up the phone and vents her rage on Alistair, accusing him of sleeping with Frankie. Alistair says he hasn't and what made her think this? She Frankie's her boyfriend just told her. Alistair says well, he's lying, or Frankie is. Sarah is getting just a little bit tired of the oft-used line "it's simply not true." She's absolutely hysterical again by now. Robbie delivers her pizza at this point, and even he notices how upset she is and offers to stay with her for a bit. Sarah looks skywards and says if this is a test, then I've just failed. She asks him if he believes in God, and he says no, and she says he's OK, isn't he, not a bad person, and not going to hell? Robbie says he hopes not. She says so what have I been worried about then! He makes jokes and chats and finally she manages a small smile. Sarah goes on about how she'd like to get "rip-roaring drunk" and Robbie sensibly says that you always regret it next day. She keeps on in a manic babble and Robbie just says the odd doubtful yes or no in between. She puts some music on and asks him to dance, then asks him to kiss her, and then lies down invitingly and says she's never done this before. Robbie needs no further encouragement.
Thursday 20th March 1997
Sarah is lying on the sofa, and Robbie is half dressed. Since she has shut up her babbling, Robbie asks her how she is and apologises if it wasn't what she expected, but he hasn't done it much himself. He says it'll be better next time - if there is a next time of course, but he hopes they can go out together, to the cinema perhaps? She is silently sulking and Robbie goes over to see if he can get some sort of reaction. Sarah suddenly tells him she never wants to see him again and she hates him and he should get lost. He's really upset and says it wasn't his idea, that was what she wanted, and he would have been happy whatever... and she screams "don't you understand English? get out!" Ricky has given up searching for the £3,000 and goes to see if Phil is at home, arriving only minutes after Robbie has left. He bangs on the door until Ben wakes up and Sarah can't ignore it any longer, so she jumps up and kicks her pair of discarded knickers under the sofa. Ricky comes in despite Sarah's unfriendly comment that Phil isn't here and he's woken the baby. Ricky is desperate to find Phil so persists, and then realises that Sarah is not just annoyed about Ben but deeply upset about something else. He keeps on that he's her friend and she can tell him why she's upset - and he makes her a coffee to cheer her up. When she's silent, he tells her he's had a bad day too, he's lost £3,000 and it looks like Phil's run off with it on a bender. Meanwhile, at the Vic, Kathy is wondering where Phil is, and Peggy is delaying the birthday celebrations until he appears. Bianca is waiting for Ricky, and asks Tony if he's seen him. Peggy gloats about her being stood up and tells her that "working late" is the oldest lie in the book, thus sowing the seeds of doubt in Bianca's mind. So, she goes to the Arches to apologise for being rude last time she saw him, but he's not there. She goes home and when he's not there either she is worried. Tony and Simon get drinks and Grant takes the opportunity to taunt Tony about not having a job or being able to support a kid, and he is a sad loser. Tony refuses to be intimidated even though Simon wants to leave. They stay for another drink and then go to Lenny's party. Bianca goes to Huw and Lenny's party, which is just getting going. Lenny is pleased that she's arrived without Ricky and tries to get her to eat some cake. Ian turns up to ask them to turn it down, and notices someone in the corner smoking a joint. He immediately goes home and calls the police telling them about the disturbance and that he knows there are drugs there. He later goes round to Carol's to ask her to phone the police to complain too, to give it more weight. She says Alan lives there, and Ian says all the more reason I thought you would do it. Alan appears behind Ian and asks if someone's talking about him. Ian goes and Carol asks what he wants. He says Frankie dumped him, and Carol says it's none of her business. She slams the door in Alan's face and he goes and sits in the square miserably. She's also worried about Robbie who seems to have been crying and has given up his shift for tonight and goes up to his room to hide, but he won't tell her what is wrong. Ricky is not having much luck with Sarah - she's started to talk and goes on about how much she's always wanted to kill herself but hasn't got the bottle, and she admires people who can. Ricky says she has people who care about her - her family, and him. He hands her the coffee and offers her his handkerchief, putting it in her hand. When it touches her, she jumps up in panic and screams and attacks him violently, knocking him backwards and over the table, breaking the lamp. She screams at him to get out and scratches his face before he scrambles out of there! She continues screaming as he opens the door and Alan hears the commotion and sees Ricky leave under the rain of blows. Alan goes into the Vic to have a word with Kathy, and she goes home. Sarah panics and says she's sorry she will pay for any damage, and runs out. Kathy is concerned, and even more so when she tidies up and finds Sarah's knickers and tights. She calls Ted, and half explains that Sarah has gone running off and she's worried about her, and she hesitates before deciding not to show him the knickers. He says he'll ring around her friends, and calls Alistair first, but only gets the machine. Ricky finally goes to the Vic to face Bianca, hiding his cheek very suspiciously. She's more concerned about the lack of the £3,000 than anything else, until Kathy appears and wants a word with Ricky. Sarah yet again goes to Alistair's house and asks him if he's alone, before going in. She tells him she's slept with Robbie Jackson. The phone rings but Alistair ignores it. Alistair goes into "fire and brimstone" mode and tells her that she had better pray long and hard for forgiveness, and hope that God is very merciful, or else the consequences are too dreadful to contemplate, and she will be damned. Sarah is terrified, and says she came for reassurance and sympathy, and she wants a bath. Alistair says coldly that a bath will not wash away the sin. She says that he nearly did this with Sue, they were intending to do so, so what is the difference. Alistair says that the difference is they didn't do it, so they were saved from sin. Sarah says that she turned up and interrupted them and saved them, why couldn't someone have saved her? Alistair says simply perhaps her faith wasn't strong enough. She says that's not fair and leaves in tears. The police arrive at the party just as Lenny is eating the last slice of cake. As the police threaten to break down the door they stuff themselves with the remnants. The policeman picks up the crumbs and sniffs/tastes it, and arrests Huw and Lenny. As they struggle, the policeman says they'd better not be resisting arrest. While Kathy has her "private" word with Ricky, Bianca goes to the bar, and Peggy tells her a whole tissue of fabrication about what she thinks Ricky has been up to and that it's obvious when Sarah is not the kind of girl to scratch a man's face for no reason, and after what he did to her Sam she has never trusted him - he puts on that stupid look, but there's more to it than meets the eye. Ricky tells Kathy that he doesn't know why Sarah was upset, she was already upset when he arrived looking for Phil and she just went mad. And he is far more concerned about finding Phil. Kathy isn't impressed by this story, and ignores the question of where Phil is. Meanwhile George has brought a huge cake in and gets ready to dim the lights. Bianca returns from Peggy's character assassination of Ricky's and insists he tell her why he lied to her about where he had been, and he was with Sarah, and obviously he likes them young. She screams that she wouldn't marry him if he was the last man on earth just as the lights go out and everyone goes silent to sing Happy Birthday. Everyone turns to look at her as she flounces out of the Vic yelling "what are you lot looking at?!"
Monday 24th March 1997
Phil turns up at 1am from Romford because his car broke down. Kathy is still up and he apologises, saying he should have phoned. Kathy explains about Sarah and says she saw her afterwards, and she definitely didn't want whatever happened and it looks like the culprit was Ricky. Phil defends him and says he really doesn't think Ricky would do that. Kathy says she hasn't told Ted the whole story because she's afraid of what he might do. Ted wakes up in the chair, checks for Sarah and then calls Tony to see if Sarah has turned up there, and when she hasn't he calls the police. Tony, Tiffany and Simon discuss telling Ted about Ricky, and Tony says he'd rather not, because the last time something like this happened to Sarah, let's just say the bloke never did it again, because he couldn't. He also says to Simon that it's possible she over-reacted to something quite simple, because she's never had a boyfriend or even kissed a bloke, and after the other bloke a really small thing could have set her off. Tony goes to see Simon on the stall and happens to see Ricky. He chases him to ask what happened and Ricky rushes off, so Tony says right, he's going to tell Ted. He does so, and Ted is immediately on the warpath for Ricky, with Tony trying to tell him that nothing's definite and we don't know what really happened. Ricky is banging on Carol's door trying to get Bianca to talk to him, but she refuses and then throws a bucket of water over him to make him go away. Robbie is informed of the entire story including Sarah's disappearance and he looks suitably guilty and terrified. He phones Barry to say he's ill and can't go to work. Ted Hills sees Ricky getting showered and Ricky sees him and runs away. Tony and Ted chase after him and he just about gets into his flat before Ted catches him. The police appear at this point and calm Ted down, and ask about the facts of the matter. Pat and Roy appear and ask what's going on, and Pat doesn't believe a word of it. Ted is led away with Kathy to show the police the scene of the alleged crime and Pat knocks on the door to talk to Ricky. He tells her and Roy exactly what happened, they're both convinced and say it'll be sorted out. The police ask Kathy exactly the location of the damaged lamp, and anything else. She then has to show them the knickers and tights, and Ted goes totally bonkers. The police say they will talk to Ricky and they do so. He says just ask Sarah, she'll tell you that I didn't do anything. They say they hope she will turn up soon, and leave. Ricky says he hopes so too, or his life will be over! After hearing his story, they ask if anyone else might have seen anything, and Kathy says there was a pizza delivered, the delivery boy might have seen something, they can call and find out who it was. The police also ask does she have a boyfriend. Kathy suggests Joe Wicks is a close friend, so they decide to interview him. They next go to see Tony and Tiffany, and Tony tells them that Sarah has run off because she's afraid of her father and his reaction, even though really the only person he's got it in for is Ricky right now, Sarah will still be frightened. They also give full details of the Christian church and Alistair's name. The police thank him, and next they talk to Robbie, who lies completely the evening, and says he just delivered the pizza and didn't go inside, oh yes he did go in just to put the pizza down, then he left immediately and didn't see anyone else there at all. They ask if he fancies Sarah and he says yes, he used to. Carol and Bianca arrange a spontaneous short holiday to the West End of London, staying overnight somewhere, to take Bianca's mind off her ruined wedding plans. She's grateful to Carol, and they wander around London just relaxing and getting away from it all. The market traders gossip a bit when Bianca doesn't turn up, and say it's not the first time Ricky has cheated on her, although Simon and Tony both advise caution and say that no-one knows what happened and perhaps people shouldn't gossip until they know the facts, as it might all get out of hand. Tiffany decides to get the blood test done, and Tony is a bit disappointed because he knows she wants it to be Grant's and that would be better for all concerned, but he still hopes it could be his. She goes to the Vic and tells Grant it's £180, and he says that's fine, he's happy to pay. Lorraine is moping around about it and Grant says he thought she'd be happy but for some reason she's not. She doesn't explain why, and goes off to see Joe when he calls to says the police just interviewed him. Alan sits in the Vic chatting to Mick who says he has to tell Alan something - Frankie is on with Alistair. Alan says he already knew, and it's all over between them: he's had enough and she'll never change and that's it. Alistair turns up in the Vic and goes up to Alan and says he has to call Frankie off, she's making wild accusations, and he never touched her, and it will ruin his reputation if this gets out. Alan shrugs and says he's got rid of her, she's got the hots for him now and he will have to deal with it, it's not his problem any more. Alistair is desperate, and says he has to do something. Mick takes pity on Alistair and says he'll go and see if he can find her and have a word. Alistair thanks him and says he'll wait there. Then, someone mentions Sarah, and that she has disappeared after being attacked last night. Alistair is shocked, and when asked says he has no idea where she is and says he hasn't seen her and has to go and see someone immediately. He goes round to Ted's and asks what's happening. Ted fills him in with some details, and Alistair asks if he has called all the Christian friends? Ted says only those here in her address book, so Alistair suggests some more possibilities, but with no luck. Alistair says he saw her last night about 9:30 and she was upset. Ted says so she told you what happened? Alistair says yes, it's dreadful isn't it, a sin of the flesh. Ted says he'll kill that Ricky Butcher when he gets hold of him. Alistair says what's he got to do with it, it was Robbie Jackson she was with - Sarah told me last night.
Tuesday 25th March 1997
Ted rushes out, with Alistair ineffectually trying to hold him back. He's pushed aside and Ted goes round to the Jacksons'. Alistair goes to fetch Tony, and Tony can't believe it was Robbie! He finds Ted and drags him away from the Jacksons' doorstep, as Sonia is hiding inside after Robbie instructed her not to open the door. Ted says, totally inaccurately, "Alistair said Sarah said Robbie raped her". Sonia asks Robbie why he's so afraid and guesses it's to do with Sarah. The police come to the door and Robbie asks Sonia not to let them in. She says they already know they're in but she'll try to stall them. She asks for a badge and says she has to call their station before she can let anyone in. The police are irritated, and eventually she has to let them in, and she tries to help Robbie's pathetic story along a bit with some additional excuses. They point out that Robbie took half an hour to get back to the pizza shop after delivering to Sarah. In the Vic, Frankie tells Alan she's having an affair with Alistair. Alan doesn't believe her. She insists, standing with her back to the door, and Alan looks up and says fine, shall we just ask him then? Alistair has just walked in and Frankie's bluff is called. Alistair hotly denies it, saying he is engaged, and he doesn't want anything to do with Frankie. He also asks her to keep away from the Fellowship, and says she has a problem and should see someone about it. Frankie appeals to Alan asking if he's going to let Alistair talk to her like that, and Alan is grinning at the spectacle, and says "perhaps you should listen to him, you've been rumbled." Mick appears as Alan is walking away, and Frankie launches herself at him trying to attack him. Mick drags her off and Alan says he hopes she rots in hell. Alistair says "how do you put up with it?" Mick replies "perhaps I'm a better Christian than you." Alan goes across the square to see the police bundling Robbie into the car. He shouts after him "just tell the truth," and rushes off to follow to the station. Barry sees it happen and says something to the effect that boys that age can't stop themselves, especially when, like Robbie, they don't get a bit of skirt from one year to the next. In the café Blossom says Kathy should not judge Robbie as she knows nothing about it, and Kathy says that no-one ever believes a rape and she won't defend Robbie just because he's a relative of Blossom's. She goes home and rants on to Phil about poor Sarah being raped in their home, and says she can't stand to live there any longer, perhaps he pushed her up against this wall and she was screaming no, and...etc.. Phil says that she's been strong enough to help him and managed to cope with her own rape, so she will get through this. In London, Carol and Bianca have a girly night out at a smart restaurant, and Bianca points out it's the cost of one bridesmaids dress they're spending on a meal. Carol says that Ted went OTT if it was just that Ricky had been foolish and had a fling with Sarah, he obviously thinks it's a bit more serious than that. Bianca says it's ridiculous, Ricky would never force himself on anyone. After a lot of chat they both decide to give it a another go with their respective partners when they get back. Robbie is released a little later, and Blossom ask him to tell her the truth, and what he told the police. He says he told them nothing happened, and then tells her the whole story. She asks whether Sarah ever said no, and Robbie says of course not. He says that Alan was really great at the police station and really stood up for him. In the Vic, Barry tells Peggy that they've let Robbie out, and Ted's nearby drunkenly telling everyone that if they ever let Robbie out he will.... Lenny says that it might not be what he thinks, and Lorraine says there are always two sides to a story. Ted says he's certain that Robbie raped her, and Huw points out that a few hours ago he was "certain" that it was Ricky. Ted slurs "are you trying to be a smart ass?" and Huw shuts up. Sanjay says yes, if it was my daughter I'd have killed him. Ted starts on Sanjay asking if he's saying Ted is a coward. Everyone tries to keep Ted calm. A mysterious blonde girl is in the Vic and as they restrain Ted from hitting Sanjay, her drink is knocked over. Tony offers to buy her another one, and she starts quizzing him about the person who's gone missing, etc. He gets annoyed and tells her to mind her own business, while Simon says she's only being friendly. Ricky comes in with Pat and Roy and Grant asks him if he's OK. Pat says to Ted that she thinks he should apologise to Ricky. Ted says how would they feel if their daughter had been raped. Roy says he knows how he would feel if his son had been wrongly accused. Meanwhile Peggy is talking to someone else about how odd it is that Robbie has been let out and Ted overhears this. He's about to rush out of the Vic, and Tony tries to hold him back as Ted rants about Robbie "getting away with it." At home, Robbie is terrified and tells Blossom that he's afraid of what Ted will do. Blossom says she'll go and get Alan from the café. Meanwhile Ted pretends to calm down and says he's going home and will just pop into the chippy on the way. Tony offers to go back with him, but when Ted says he's going to the shop on the way and there's no need, Tony says OK. Ted leaves, and sees Blossom leaving Robbie's house. Lenny and Huw are outside the taxi office by now and see Ted leave and cross over to Robbie's house. Barry says it's none of their business. Ted kicks the door down and Robbie is terrified. Ted runs away from the Jacksons', looking furtively around, just before Alan and Blossom come back from the café to find Robbie unconscious at the bottom of the stairs.
Thursday 27th March 1997
Alan calls the ambulance, which arrives promptly. Huw and Lenny are waiting in the café for Alan to get back, and decide to go to the chippy instead, so go out and see the ambulance. Huw says they should have done something, and Lenny says they didn't know what he'd do. Huw says they knew exactly what Ted was going to do. In the Vic, Sanjay is saying that Ted is a saint not to have killed Robbie for what he has done, then someone rushes in and says there's an ambulance outside Robbie's house. Sanjay says "I don't blame Ted at all, good luck to him, they should never have let Robbie out." Tony runs out saying he should have gone with Ted, and Alan shouts at him "look what he's done!" The ambulance men restrain Alan, saying there have been enough injuries for one evening. Alan goes to the hospital with Robbie and mutters to himself that Carol will kill him for letting this happen, and he should have been there for Robbie. Robbie wakes up to scream about a pain in his stomach, and he's taken off for emergency surgery for internal bleeding and to have his spleen removed. The police visit Ted, who is asleep on the sofa and doesn't answer. Carol and Bianca return, Carol goes home and discovers the news, while Bianca goes to see Ricky. Ricky tells her that Ted's after Robbie now, and he didn't do anything, and Sarah's obviously unstable and made it all up, because he didn't do anything. He also apologises for losing the £3,000K and says he will get it somehow. Bianca says he doesn't have to, and she's also blown half the wedding money, but she's changed her mind and wants to get married anyway, without the big do. She also says she's sorry and should have given him the chance to explain. Ricky is thrilled. Ted hides from the police and Kathy and Phil see him in the café, and tell him they're looking for him. Phil says he should have been more careful and there are ways of doing these things - get someone else to do it for a start. Ted says he wouldn't have got the satisfaction then. Phil obviously thinks he's an idiot but just says he'd better get his alibi sorted out. In the Vic later, he and Grant discuss what a mess it is, and Phil says Ted's so stupid he deserves to go to prison. Lorraine says to Grant that Ted was well out of order, and Grant says, yes he should have checked with Sarah first. Lorraine is horrified that he seems to condone the action if it's true she was raped, and says this makes is acceptable does it? Grant says yes, because rape is unacceptable. She and Grant continue a running battle all day and Lorraine says she is sick of people justifying Ted's behaviour, and Joe could have been the next victim of his shotgun approach, and what if he got it wrong. Carol goes to the hospital and thanks Alan for what he's done. Alan says she has nothing to thank him for and it's all his fault, he's let her down, and Bianca, and now Robbie, the one time he needed him to be there. He starts snivelling and says he's really really sorry. Tony sees Ted and tries to get the story straight. He says this is a real mess, and Ted shouldn't have done it without knowing what really happened. What exactly did Alistair say? Ted says he said Robbie did it. Tony says "But did WHAT?" And since when did you believe anything he said - you had no time for him at all, now all of a sudden it's the word of God, and you're blaming every bloke who's been in a 5-mile radius of Sarah. Bianca rushes home and is thrilled that her wedding is on and Ricky is innocent, and bounces in telling everyone this. She ends her cheerful story by saying that Sarah's so mad she's even accusing Robbie now, so he'd better watch out. Everyone has been listening miserably but unable to get a word in edgeways, but she finally notices and asks what's wrong. Tony chats with Tiffany about his interview for a job on the Walford Gazette. Ted is gossiping with Peggy in the Vic. Peggy has said that she knows exactly what they should do to rapists. Grant sighs slightly uncomfortably and says, yes we know! Carol and Alan arrive, and Carol starts having a go at Ted. Peggy tells her to leave, but Grant says, just say what you've got to, Carol. Peggy looks annoyed at being overruled. Carol tells Ted that Robbie didn't "rape" Sarah, but he consented to have sex with her, and obviously Ted can't accept that she's just like any other girl and he won't allow her to be normal, and Carol adds sneeringly, so is it because you want to keep her all to yourself? Ted is annoyed, but Carol's leaving anyway. She says she'll tell the police where he is and let them deal with it. Peggy tells Ted that more than likely the police will turn a blind eye in cases like this. The police arrive shortly and Ted insists he didn't do it. Peggy tells him he should go with them as they are on his side. He says he will sue the police for wrongful arrest, and they point out that they haven't arrested him, but just asked him to go with them to help with their enquiries. He says he will sue them for something anyway. In the café, Huw is one of those pleased by Ted's arrest. Blossom is irritated by Sanjay still being incredibly biased about the "rape" in the café and Blossom tells him to shut up as he's talking rubbish. Ian comes in and Huw and Lenny go up to him and apologise profusely and ask for a truce, they're fed up with the vendetta. Ian is surprised but says OK, if you mean it, and Huw and Lenny turn to each other and say "Now we'll really get him" when he's left, as they are still planning some hideous revenge, they just can't think of anything yet. At the hospital Alan and Carol are very close and Alan tells Carol that it is all over with Frankie, and he will never be caught out like that again, he can't believe he fell for it. Carol is non-committal about taking him back and trying again. Ted returns to the Vic and Peggy asks him how it went. He says not good - he's looking at 5 years for GBH with intent. The police very shortly come to visit Ted again, with the news that they think they "may have found your daughter."
Monday 31st March 1997
Ted and Tony go to the station and Ted goes absolutely mad at the police when he looks at the body and he yells "what sort of girl do you think my daughter is!" Sarah is sitting in a doorway and a homeless guy called Jimmy harasses her. A woman called Lisa frightens him off and takes care of Sarah for a while, asking why she ran away, did her boyfriend knock her up or her father hit her, or maybe her father knocked her up? She asks if Sarah can phone anybody at all. Sarah says well, yes, but I don't want to worry him. Lisa looks at her and says sarcastically, no, it's not like it's an emergency or anything. Then she asks if she is hungry. Sarah says she's starving but hasn't got any money. Lisa says no problem, and then takes Sarah to a corner shop and tells her to go in, take some food and walk out as if she has paid for it, it'll be easy. Sarah asks why Lisa can't do it and she says that she's known to the shop, and they'd be watching her straight away. Sarah walks off, but Lisa calls her back, saying she'll look after Sarah's heavy winter coat and bag because she can't run if she's carrying all that weight and anything goes wrong. Sarah goes in, picks up a bunch of bananas, loaf of bread and pint of milk, and walks out successfully. She goes back to where she last saw Lisa, but she's disappeared with Sarah's coat and handbag. She stops in her tracks in shock, and someone bumps into her and she drops all the food, smashing the milk bottle. She's again feeling totally betrayed by everyone she trusted, and she wanders around shivering, and goes to a church. She changes her mind and starts to leave but the vicar appears and asks her to stay, saying she needs help, please tell him about it. He's a down to earth type, totally unlike Alistair, and he's very sympathetic. Carol and Alan are still at Robbie's bedside - he's doing as well as can be expected, and Carol and Alan are getting on very well too. Grant and Lorraine are still arguing. Grant tells Lorraine she is overreacting at Ted giving Robbie a good smack. Lorraine is horrified again, and argues her case that a good smack is never justified, just because someone's "got it coming." What if he's wrong? What if it's me? Grant doesn't answer. Lorraine wanders out and goes to see Nigel in the video shop. She chats about Ted and asks Nigel if he'd ever do something like that. Nigel says he remembers how he felt when he discovered Debs' ex had beaten her up - he just wanted him to hurt, so yes, he would in extreme circumstances - like if Claire had been raped. He tells her the aphorism "Don't judge a man until you have walked a mile in his shoes." She says very good, where did you read that? Nigel says a fortune cookie. Lorraine is still disturbed and Nigel guesses it's about Grant really. He says that's just his way, and Lorraine explains she always thought that being inside his circle of family and friends would protect her, and she felt she could hide behind him, and felt safe. But now she realises that it's no different, and if she steps out of line, she could equally be in the firing line, and she's seen him almost hit Tiffany. She goes back to the Vic and tells Grant that she's here because she wants to be, but if he ever raises a hand to her, he gets no second chance, she will be gone. Ted is moping at home and Tony is sitting there silently. Ted suddenly says why don't you just say it - if I had been a better father she wouldn't have gone. Tony declines and Ted goes on, saying no-one harms my daughter. Tony finally has to respond, and says that Ted has done more damage to both of them than anyone else ever has. Sarah ran away because she knew what you'd do if you found out, just make things ten times worse. Tony makes his escape while Ted is speechless. Tony sees Ted in the square later and apologises, saying that he just needs to lighten up a little on his kids. Sarah talks to the vicar who offers her a totally non-judgemental view of God and even says that he can't tell her what to believe or what God is, that has to come from herself. She explains all about Alistair and the "fellowship," which the vicar has heard of, and he says he recognises Alistair's "type," with a slight frown. She tells him about firstly her brother being "damned" by Alistair, then him saying the same to her. She says rather panic stricken that God just isn't there, it's all lies and when she "looks inside her heart" as he advises, there is nothing there. She leaves and calls Joe to tell him to meet her. He's pleased to see her and seems to be one of the sanest people in the square at the moment. He says she has to tell her father where she is as he's going mad, and he gives her a few tips, grinning and saying he's an expert. She asks if Robbie is OK, and Joe asks why. She explains the whole story, and says she was confused because Alistair had said that she couldn't be with him and she asks if Joe is cross. Joe laughs and says of course he's not, and then she asks if he thinks she's.. you know.... he says of course not, and she mustn't think like that. He asks where she's sleeping, and she says in a church, and she has to go back there. Joe says err, isn't that where all this trouble started! She says she has to go back, so won't come home now, but will soon. Joe asks where her coat is and gives her his, and says goodbye. She returns and there is a service on, so she joins the queue of people walking up to the middle of the church and kissing a statue of Jesus on the cross. He kneels there for ages looking up at the statue, and presumably sorts a few things out in her mind. Sarah tells the vicar that she has to go home now for her Easter service, and she wants to do it to prove something to herself and Alistair. Meanwhile Alistair is handing out Easter messages, and gives one to Sanjay, Gita and the family who are out walking. They look at him as if he's mad, and the mother points out that they are Hindu, not Christian, and Alistair says the door is always open. They look at each other, as well they might! Everyone else just drops the leaflets on the floor and ignores him. Ted phones Kathy who's having an Easter egg with Ben and Phil, and then he phones Sue again to tell her that if she sees Sarah to tell him and he's decided not to open the shop today so will be at home. Sue says he should "keep busy" and he shouts at her not to patronise him. He phones Tony, and as he is on the phone, Sarah walks back in. He tells Tony, and gives her a hug. She says she wants a bath, and goes off to have one. Tony comes round and Ted says he's leaving her alone, as she has had a "horrific ordeal" and doesn't want to push it. He says he'll arrange lunch, and Tony can come back at about 1 and they can all have lunch together and he will try to talk to her quietly, and agrees that he will have to tell her what he's done to Robbie but he doesn't want to bring the subject up. Kathy chats to Phil, saying again that Sarah must have been raped, and Phil still says they should wait and see when she returns. Ian comes round, saying he can't stay because he has a meeting, but can they look after Lucy for him, and he offers two bottles of a "good vintage" of champagne. Kathy shouts "what?" at him, and Ian suddenly realises - alcohol - and apologises profusely. Phil grins and says it's an easy mistake to make. Tony knocks on the door and tells Kathy that Sarah has just come home, and Kathy is keen to go round there and get the rape story, saying she might not want to tell a man. Tony says that Ted is trying to talk to her and they have a lot to discuss, so best to leave it for a few hours, but if they need help at all, they will call her. Sarah and Ted do have a little chat, and Sarah says that she didn't enjoy it much, and probably nor did Robbie, but it certainly wasn't rape and she's not his little girl any more, why won't he let her be a woman. Tony returns to find Sarah screaming at Ted, asking why he won't believe her and she wasn't raped at all, he's talking rubbish. Tony says you haven't told her have you? She asks what and Tony explains that Robbie is in hospital. She's amazed, and rushes off to see him. Ted is furious, but Tony says he should believe her, because she has no reason to lie. Ted goes round to Kathy's and Kathy also says the same. Ted says it's because she a Christian, she's doing that forgive and forget stuff. Kathy assures him that someone who has been raped a couple of days ago will not be able to forgive it that quickly so he should believe her side of the story, even though she also thought that at first, it seems they were wrong. In the hospital it's Alan's turn to sit with Robbie and Carol returns to the Vic to chat with Bianca and Ricky about the wedding plans. Robbie is much better and tells Alan he shouldn't stay around so much because it's not fair on Mum if he then just walks off again when he recovers. Alan says he's not with Frankie any more, and wants to come home, so Robbie says he should talk to Carol about it. The police come to interview him and Robbie asks Alan to go, as he will be fine. He tells them the entire story, about the sex as well as the assault. Then Alan turns up at the Vic and tells Carol that Robbie is being interviewed. She's furious about him leaving Robbie alone, and Alan says it was his choice, he's not a kid, he's 18 and I respected his decision. Carol is a bit subdued by this and says OK, fine. Sarah turns up at the hospital just after the police have finished, and apologises to Robbie and is really upset. She asks how anyone could have thought that it was rape, and Robbie tells her that it was her friend Alistair who told Ted what happened. She says but what did he say? Robbie says well, do you think I'd look like this if he just said we slept together? Nigel has bought Claire a computer and a large book about the Internet for Easter, and Ian offers to help him set it up, as it's a bit tricky if you don't know what you're doing, and Ian says he's have him surfing the net in no time. Nigel accepts graciously, and they sort it all out while Claire is off swimming and Nigel has managed to escape the ordeal by stuffing himself with a chocolate egg and hence saying he can't swim after just eating! Ian shows Nigel the stock market, and various useful areas, then Nigel says can't we search for "humour" instead. Ian says that's kid's stuff, and not what the Internet is for at all. Bianca suggests they have the reception in a pub, and Ricky, with characteristic imagination, suggests the Vic. Bianca says does he mind after all the things Peggy said about him, and Ricky shrugs and says why not, with his usual sensitivity. Sarah goes to give her Easter service, despite Sue trying to persuade her to go home to her father. Sarah says they've said all they need to and insists. She gives a far more lenient interpretation than Alistair's usual fire & brimstone damnation ideas, and as she's saying that no one person should put themselves above others, and all should be humble, and God is the only person allowed to judge them, and becoming particularly forgiving, Alistair tries to shut her up. She says she hasn't finished and adds that she has done something bad recently, and came to Alistair looking for comfort and help, but all she got was condemnation. Alistair says that unfortunately Sarah has sinned so badly that she is no longer welcome in the kingdom of heaven, but she still has a use as a salutary lesson to the rest of us... Sarah interrupts, saying he has been lying to them all along, and you got us to celebrate your "engagement" when you've been sleeping with Sue for ages too.
Tuesday 1st April 1997
It's April Fool's Day and Nigel is seen supergluing a pound coin to the pavement. It's number 11 of the hilarious pranks he found on the internet. Sigh. He watches from the video shop as a number of passers-by try to pick it up. Grant appears and asks him what he's doing and he says it's hilarious. Grant asks if he's not a bit old for that sort of thing. Nigel says that inside this 38-year old body of a sex god there is a 16 year old trying to get out. Grant looks down at Nigel's belly and says "What, just the one?" Anyway, are you on for the run tomorrow, you have to start building stamina, so I'll see you at 5:30am outside the Vic. Nigel says unfortunately his stamina doesn't get up until about 8:30, but Grant says that he will have no problem if he's been sticking to the training schedule he gave him, and if he's not there, Grant will be round to drag him out of bed. Nigel agrees that he has been following the training plan, but doesn't look too sure about it. Nigel has to go out later, leaving his assistant watching a Kung Fu film. When he returns he can't believe his eyes - the paving stone the pound coin was stuck to has been dug up is gone. Pauline and Mark mention Aunt Nelly being ill. She says she's more worried about Ethel who also has the flu that Nelly has. Mark says she'll be OK, she's as tough as old boots. Ian keeps getting mobile phone rings and then there is no-one there. Barry is moaning about all the hoax calls he had this morning, asking him to pick up various stupid names, including a Mr Piggott and Mr Dodd from outside the Tax office. Gita and Sanjay discover that IVF will cost £3,000 per attempt, but Gita says they could borrow money knowing that his father's inheritance will come through soon. Sanjay has to admit that the will has already been read and all the money goes to his mother, but he was afraid to tell her. Gita can't believe it - first the lies about the factory he kept up for years to his mother, then this, keeping the truth from her about the inheritance. Sarah has refused to stay at her father's house in protest at his treatment of Robbie. She's at Kathy's instead, and Kathy is trying to talk her into going home. She refuses to forgive Ted for what he did, and says that if she goes home it will be like condoning what he did, and she will never do that. Kathy says she seems to be judging people instead of all this forgiveness and love stuff she's supposed to preach, and can't she even be charitable to her own father? Sarah says it's not right, where do you draw the line - what if she walked into a door tomorrow - would Ted be round to beat Kathy up because he assumed she'd hit Sarah? She says he will never change unless someone shows him it is wrong, and if she doesn't who will - Kathy? Kathy looks annoyed but says that Sarah keeps on about doing the right thing, so she should think about who is really to blame - if she hadn't run off then none of this would have happened. Ted was worried sick when she disappeared and what were they supposed to think. At least she should let Ted give his side of the story. Sarah says well, if Ted had let Robbie give his side of the story, we wouldn't be having this conversation would we? She insists that she wants to do what is right, and agrees that she has to do something. Joe visits and Kathy says she's going out and hopes Joe can talk some sense in to her. They have a chat and Joe is very kind and supportive, and says that if she needs him, he will always be here for her. She goes out and when Kathy returns, she assumes that Sarah has gone to see Ted, and phones him to tell him to let Sarah talk and then just agree with whatever she says and kiss and make up. Sonia is still busking, and she's got £8 to spend. Claire says she will get caught if she keeps on spending money, and Sonia says don't you want any sweets then? Claire says no, but then Sonia says she's buying the magazine with a colour Peter Andre pin-up, and Claire relents. Later they go home and "surf the net" getting into a chat session with someone who says they are 18 years old. Grant asks Nigel about his April Fool joke, and Nigel says his "research into greed in the 90's" showed it was far worse than expected. He looks at the change Grant just gave him and says it's even worse, I gave you a fiver. Grant says oh yes, ....and one makes five.. as he produces the paving stone from behind the bar. Tony has his interview for "office junior" at the Walford Gazette. He's asked why he wants the job and he says lamely "it seems more interesting than most jobs." The editor says "So not because you want to put something back into the community and report on real issues that affect people and make a difference then?" Tony looks uncomfortable at what might be the "correct" answer, but then the editor laughs and says he's just pulling his leg, and he didn't really know why he wanted to get into journalism when he started, but he did and he was hooked. He says he used to work in Fleet Street before it was all lottery numbers and sleaze, and he just wants to make good reports about local issues that affect people - victims of crime, people evicted by the council, etc. He says he will have no sleaze on his paper. He adds, the office junior job is as it sounds - you do all the jobs everyone else can't be bothered to do or are too busy to do. Tony says he hasn't got any fancy qualifications, and he won't pretend he knows much about journalism, but he will work hard and learns fast. The editor looks reasonably favourable, as he tells Tony he'll let him know in a couple of days. As Tony is leaving he bumps into the journalist who was sniffing around the Vic for the Sarah story. She says I know you don't I, and Tony says err yes, she says oh yes, you were the one who threw me out of the Vic the other day. Tony says he was here for the interview, and she says by the way you won't mention the other night, if you do get the job, will you - it wasn't for this paper, a bit of moonlighting. Tony says well if you put in a good word for me, I will promise not to say anything. She says it's a deal, so it looks like Tony has a job. At the hospital, Robbie is told he can go home soon. Sarah phones him up as well, and asks how he is and says she wants to put things right. She goes to the police station, and has to wait a while to see anyone. Tony goes home and takes Ted out for a drink to celebrate, saying he can't sit at home for ever. Peggy buys them a drink on the house, while Lorraine says to Grant she can't believe Ted's nerve, and he makes her sick. Of course Alan and Carol come into the Vic later, and there is a lot of tension, and Alan almost comes over to have a go at Ted. Phil step in between them and Kathy drags Ted out, protesting he's only there for a quiet drink. Alan stops, then suddenly runs out after Ted. However, he stops in his tracks as Ted walks out straight into the grasp of two policemen who have just dropped Sarah off and arrest him for assaulting Robbie. Sarah looks on with her usual worried frown.
Thursday 3rd April 1997
It's 5:30am and Nigel has the misfortune to be training with Grant. Grant runs very fast and Nigel can't keep up. Nigel asks whether Grant's mood has anything to do with being worried about the blood test and the idea that if Tony is the father he's somehow "more of a man" than Grant. Grant denies it. The blood test is booked for that morning, but Tony disappears just before, because Ted is back home and he wants to talk to him. The police will charge him because Sarah gave a statement. Tony can't believe she'd do it, and Kathy is even more annoyed with her back at her house, where Sarah refuses to talk about it. Phil says he might put Ted on to Marcus, but when he mentions it to Grant, he says he'll be lucky, Marcus is away - he has been trying to ring him all week about the divorce. They all go for the blood test, and will get the results in a few weeks time. Tony comes with Tiff and the baby, and Grant turns up alone. Tiffany asks pointedly if Grant is alone and says she thought Lorraine would have come with him. At the Hills' home, Ted tells Tony that Sarah just did what she thought was right, and he wants her home, he doesn't even care about the police. Pat visits the cab office for some receipts, and Barry begs her to look after the cab controlling because he's just got an airport call booked in advance, and both Huw and Lenny are out on calls or stuck in traffic. She refuses but he finally persuades her. Roy comes in an hour or so later, saying that he thought she said she'd be here for a minute and why did she let Barry rope her into it? She says it's not his fault that Robbie is in hospital. She calls both Huw and Lenny and asks where they are, and Huw is free, so she says she's got a pick up for Mr King, and can Lenny come back. Lenny cuts in on the radio and says he's much closer to Mr King. They squabble a bit and Pat tells them to do the jobs she just said, and stop bickering. Roy goes over to the Vic to wait for Pat, and who should be there but Barry, having a drink! Roy is furious and tells him to go back immediately, as Pat has enough to do with the car lot, without having to do his job as well. She comes in later and asks Roy what's the deal with Mr King, and Roy says he's probably simply a good tipper. Sanjay goes to the bank to ask for a loan for the IVF. The bank manger tells him to keep in the black for 6 months and he can come back then and ask again. Gita is annoyed at this delay and asks if Sanjay explained what it was for. Sanjay says of course, but the bank manager just said kids are an expensive luxury, which they can't afford at the moment. Gita whines that he's a pompous git. Sarah visits the normal church again and asks the kind vicar what she should do about her father - she feels she shouldn't talk to him, but she's being pressured by Kathy to forgive him. The vicar says that if someone is truly sorry and repents for what they did then God would forgive them, but it is her choice. She ask what he would do and he says if it were his father, he would probably go and see if he was sorry and if he is, then it isn't their place to judge his actions. She goes home and asks Ted if he is sorry. He says of course he is and he just did what he thought was right and did it to protect her. They kiss and make up. Later she asks about the police and says she will go and see them again and explain, and she is really sorry about it. Ted says it doesn't matter, we all do things we regret later, and he is prepared to pay the price for what he has done, just like Robbie had to. Sarah is shocked and says what!! Robbie didn't do anything wrong. Ted says of course he did, even if he didn't rape you, he took advantage of you. She says you still think he had it coming don't you? Ted's look is enough to show that of course he does, so Sarah says nothing has changed, and he still isn't sorry, and runs out again. After his blood test, while Tony is in there, Grant tells Tiffany that they will have to sort out about Courtney, and the divorce. Tiffany looks hurt and disappointed of course and says OK. Grant leaves, and Tony comes out from his test, and says to her "if it turns out that it's mine -" Tiffany corrects him she - he repeats, if she's mine, we will have to sort things out. Tiffany is annoyed and says Grant just said that and they will have to wait and see. Tony goes home to find a message from Max the editor, that he's got a 3 month trial at the Walford Gazette. Lorraine asks Grant about the blood test, and he says it'll be a couple of weeks before they get the results. She says so what happens now? Grant says nothing, although he's arranging the divorce, so how does feel about summer weddings? She shrugs rather non-committally and says they're OK, and Grant says - so how about this summer then? She's a bit reluctant and says it's a bit too soon. Grant finally gets through to the solicitor and discovers that he can't get divorced until he has been married at least a year so that puts paid to his plans for this summer.
Monday 7th April 1997
Grant complains to Lorraine that the law is ridiculous and Lorraine points out that he promised "till death do us part" so one year isn't really that long. Nigel and Grant go for another run. Mark and Sanjay comment on it and Sanjay says he's in his prime and never been so fit! At Kathy's, Sarah is still in her bad books for not talking to Ted. Ted asks Tony to have a word, which he does but Sarah refuses to listen. Pat is still doing the cab controlling and a job for Mr King comes in and Huw and Lenny fight over it again. Pat gets annoyed and afterwards they decide they should be more careful as she'll start to get suspicious and they don't want anyone else "in on it." Ian's still getting prank calls where no-one answers: he gets one in the square as he's walking past Huw and Lenny, and he goes into the Vic. He gets another one, and Nigel waffles on about stalkers, and it's not just women who get them, it could happen to anyone, and it's probably someone he knows. Ian looks worried and then he visits Kathy and tells her that he's worried about these calls and he thinks it's Cindy - perhaps she wants to talk to him. She thinks this is totally unlikely and tries to put him off the idea but he says he has this feeling that it is. Ricky and Bianca are arranging their wedding and Pat asks them "casually" whether anyone has cancelled from their original guest list. She's in an extremely nervous mood, and even Roy notices and asks Huw and Lenny later in the Vic how Pat was. Huw says she was in a foul mood. Pat goes to see Kathy and mentions that she's working because Robbie can't do it, and Sarah overhears and asks how Robbie is. She then goes to her room. Pat apologises to Kathy for mentioning it, and then tells her that she's very worried that Frank will come to Ricky's wedding. Sarah visits Robbie who is not at all pleased to see her, and ignores her at first then says does she really think that he'll forgive her for having him branded a rapist and then nearly getting him killed? He also says it was more what she said which upset him. She says she's sorry about everything, and he says oh, so you're sorry you slept with me then? She denies this, and says she thought it was something she should do. He infers that it didn't matter who it was with, and again she says she didn't mean this. Sarah says she wishes she could change what happened but she can't and asks what she can do. Robbie did she really expect him to say it's OK and forgive her? She starts snivelling a bit and Sonia arrives home and Sarah leaves. Robbie tells Sonia he hasn't forgotten about her busking and she owes him several weeks of cut from her profits. She denies that she did any. Tony starts work and is generally hopeless. He can't work the photocopier when it jams and he does the old coffee joke: Max: It's 10:30 how about some coffee, Tony. Tony: Thanks, I'd love one. Oh yea, that's me. The reporter he met before arrives for work at around this time, and Max complains again, saying she only became a reported so she could roll in late for work with a hangover. She's called Polly and she's friendly and helpful when he can't unjam the copier. He goes home and tells Simon he had a good day at work, and Simon asks if they played any tricks on him, like sending him out for a left handed screwdriver or something. Tony says no, these are professional people, it's not like the market traders. Simon says oh so they don't have a bit of fun then. Tony says yes, but not that sort of fun. Simon says, irritated, oh, of course, it's all a far more clever sort of fun. Pauline gives Martin a pre-term lecture and Mark stops him on the way out and gives him another one. Martin is pissed off. Pauline cleans Martin's bedroom and finds a stash of money and obviously stolen jewellery in a bag hidden under his bed. She then turns the whole room out and finds loads of other things in his drawers. Ruth calls Mark and he goes in and asks what she's doing. She says look at all this stuff, he's only 11, what's happened. She starts moping and says it's all a waste of time, and she's going to give up the court case to clear Arthur's name too. Mark says she can't do that, and then Martin comes in and panics. He grabs the bag of money and jewellery and runs off, barging past Ruth on the way out and running away into the square, with Mark chasing him.
Tuesday 8th April 1997
Nigel mentions to Mark that Martin may be at Arthur's allotment, and although the police were supposed to have searched there, Mark finds him among the pots. Mark tells him that he was in trouble when he was younger and that prison is the worst thing that you can think of, so don't let it get out of hand. Martin agrees to come home if Mark leaves the bag of stolen goods there, because they don't belong to him but the gang and Martin says he will be in serious trouble if he loses them. Pauline is amazed and can't believe it, and blames herself for leaving him for months when she went to the US, for him getting into trouble. Mark and Ruth reassure her but then she points out that all her children have run away - Mark also got into trouble when he was younger, and Michelle got herself pregnant and ruined her life, and she's only happy now thousands of miles away from her, everything close to her is a total mess. Mark and Ruth tell her that it's not her fault at all. Ethel's ill with the flu and Pauline tries to contact Dot. She asks Nigel who says he lost contact with her when she didn't reply to his letters he assumed she had moved. She visits the hospital and the nurse shows her lots of Ethel's old letters including a possible address for Dot, and quite a few others which Pauline looks at with great interest, and then she offers to contact the social services in the Gravesend area to find out Dot's address. Later she returns to say they can't give out addresses but say they will contact Dot and ask her to get in touch since it is serious. Roy guesses that Pat is worried about the wedding, and she admits it. Roy says that Frank wouldn't ruin his son's wedding, Pat knows how he feels about Ricky. She says she's not sure, and he might do anything. Grant tells Tiffany that the divorce will have to wait until November, but he's telling her now so she can get a solicitor. Tiffany says that he can't divorce her then without her permission so we'll just wait and see when the time comes. Grant looks frustrated. Everyone is hassling Sarah to see Ted, especially since the court hearing is very soon, and he may go to prison. She refuses. Robbie doesn't believe Sonia that she has given up busking, especially when she's panicking because she hasn't done her homework, and he goes to the tube station and sees her play her trumpet - which despite all the practice is as cacophonous as ever, and hasn't improved in the slightest. Sarah bumps into Robbie in the square and asks him how he is. Carol sees her and tells Robbie to keep well away, and also asks why he didn't tell her that Sarah came round last week. Robbie is furious that Sonia told her, and says where do you think Sonia is now? Carol answers "in school", and Robbie reveals that she is in fact busking outside the tube station. Carol dashes off, leaving Robbie in charge of the shop, and hauls Sonia away, berating her for begging in the streets. Sonia says she has a music lesson but the teacher is away so she thought she'd practice here, as she's not allowed to practice at home, but of it's a hopeless excuse and Sonia is grounded for the week. Tony is fed up with photocopying and asks to go out on a report with Polly, but the editor refuses, saying he's needed here, and then there's lunch. Tony says he doesn't mind missing lunch and the editor says he has to go out and get them all sandwiches because there's a meeting today. He goes home and tells Simon he's fed up with the job and it's boring just photocopying all day. Ian gets another prank call while he's in his car and he has now convinced himself that it's Cindy, so he shouts down the phone, begging her to talk to him. This is rather amusing to the onlookers, and Huw ignores him, but Alan stops and asks if he's OK. Huw sees Lenny and tells him that Ian has gone bonkers and he thinks it's Cindy ringing, so perhaps they'd better stop it. Alan hears them and says it's not funny, Ian has lost his entire family, so it's beyond a joke. He also has a go at Lenny for not paying a bill he was supposed to at the house, and they are threatened with disconnection.
Thursday 10th April 1997
Kathy and Phil are both in court today supporting their respective accused. Ricky has to wait ages for his case, and Marcus tells Phil that the presiding magistrate is very fair - usually. He doesn't mention until afterwards that she had her car stolen the previous evening, so as she hands out the verdict, it's to "make an example" of Ricky as car crime is very serious. He gets a fine, but also 180 days community service to be done in the next year. He's upset because apparently this means that he won't be able to go on honeymoon. Martin is still being naughty and obnoxious, and Pauline is upset by it, and generally depressed. She also keeps reading a letter she has taken from Ethel's stash, which was from Lou in about 1930. She discusses Dot with Nigel, saying that Dot seemed reluctant to come to see Ethel, and they both suspect Nick of putting her off. Nigel says if Dot phones her again to tell her he will go over and collect her if she's visiting. Bianca panics when she is told that her vicar is ill and cannot work due to a broken pelvis. Robbie and Sonia find it highly amusing that he fell off his bike. Ian gets a call and answers his mobile with an irate "WHAT!", then discovers it's a customer and apologises. Huw tells Lenny that they have to own up, and he decides to do so immediately before he loses his bottle. Lenny is nowhere near as keen, and tries to keep out of the way. Huw goes over to Ian in the Vic, and tells him straight out, and says he is really sorry and never imagined he would think it was Cindy, and it was just to get him back for getting them in trouble with the police. Ian is furious and says sorry doesn't come close to making up for it, but when he goes home and tells Kathy she's far more laid back about it and says at least he is relieved, and why not just forget all about it and not drag it on. So next time he sees Huw, Huw offers to buy him a drink. Ian says he just wants to forget the whole thing, and doesn't want a drink or their pity. Robbie bumps into Sarah in the square and asks why she's not at school. She barges past him without comment, and later he discovers that Ted is in court today so he goes round to see Sarah. At first she won't let him in, but he bangs loudly on Kathy's door until she finally lets him in. He says she's at home because of her Dad and she denies it. Robbie says she'll have to forgive him eventually, he was only doing what he thought was right. She asks why he's sticking up for Ted, and he says he won't ever forgive him, but she'll have to, as he's her father. She sulks more and Robbie makes polite conversation by mentioning the amusing turn of events in Bianca's wedding plan. He says she's fuming because the wedding will be off unless she can find another vicar. Sarah brightens up and says Alex could do it, and explains that he helped her when she ran away. Robbie says right, and then says she should ask Alex what to do about her father, he'd know the right thing to do. Robbie goes home and tells Bianca who says she wouldn't go near any vicar that mad Sarah had had her claws into. She's at Carol's for her evening meal, and Sonia and Robbie are bickering about each telling on the other, and it's general mayhem when Alan walks in and comments "tea at the Jacksons'." Carol smiles and they're obviously getting on well, and even go out for a drink in the Vic together afterwards. Tony has an errand to run at lunchtime - collecting an ad for the paper, and he takes his lunch break before he does it. The company phone the editor asking where he is, and the editor has to send a courier over to pick it up, as they are going to press in a few hours. When Tony returns, he gets told off for having an hour and a half lunch, but he says it was for the errand too, but when he got there, they'd already sent the ad by bike. The editor says that's because we go to press today, so everything has to be ready, and because he's new he gets one chance - this is it, another mistake and he's out. Next time, he does his work and goes to lunch afterwards. The editor tells Tony there are hundreds of youngsters who'd kill for an opportunity like this. Tony goes home and says he's giving up the job, it's awful. Simon says "get real" and he gives Tony a lecture on earning a living and how we all have to do things we don't enjoy just to get the pay packet. Tony does apologises later and agrees that he will go back. Kathy returns from the court and Ted's bail is renewed and he's being charged with GBH. When she walks in and finds Sarah at home, she is furious, saying that if she was going to be there she could have babysat Ben. Sarah says she was supposed to be studying, so couldn't have done it. Kathy is furious that Sarah hasn't asked how the court case went, and she gives Sarah another earful about being unchristian in not allowing her father one mistake. Sarah goes out and talks to Alex, who tells her that everyone goes through a bad patch with their parents when they have to recreate the relationship as adults, and are no longer little children. He advises her to follow her heart. Sarah goes back and decides that she will talk to Ted, and goes home, and says sorry, and that she will move back in. Ted is thrilled, and says she doesn't have to apologise, and he's sorry too.
Monday 14th April 1997
Nigel borrows Grant's car to go to pick Dot up from Gravesend. Pauline fusses about whether he has a map and a flask of tea for the journey. He says it's only Gravesend, not the back of beyond. He asks Grant what they're doing for Ricky's stag night, and Tiffany walks by and Nigel says she will be doing a hen night for Bianca won't she? After all it's not every day you get married. Tiffany loses the smile, and looks sulkily at Grant. Tiffany says she hadn't thought of it, and will go and confer with Carol, who thinks it's a brilliant idea. Simon is in the shop and Tiffany tells him, so he says he won't be going to the stag night because he and Tony aren't exactly Grant's favourite people, so he'll babysit. He asks Carol since he's got one, would she like him to babysit Billy too? Carol says no, but Simon says if it's because of the trouble with Sarah, it's nothing to do with me and Tony can't help what his father did. Carol agrees. Grant hands over the breakdown card to Nigel, just in case. The car does break down, and Dot is left waiting for ages at the restaurant where they'd planned to meet. She's just about to leave when Nigel finally arrives after the breakdown man has fixed the car. They have a nice conversation, where she avoids the subject of Nick totally when Nigel asks why she moved and his letters didn't get through. She changes the subject to "how's Debbie," and she was so pleased to hear he was married, and she's sorry she couldn't come. Nigel tells her that Debs is dead, and Dot quotes some biblical reference about shadows of death. Nigel tells her Ethel is on the mend, and Dot jumps at this chance to get out of visiting, saying there's no point if it's not really urgent and she is very busy. Nigel tries to persuade her otherwise, but she won't budge. Bianca goes to the shop to see Carol and says she doesn't know what to do because David hasn't got in touch and she hasn't arranged anyone to give her away, because she feels bad about asking Alan, he will know that he's only there because David didn't turn up. They decide that Carol could do it, although it's unconventional and she rushes off to see the vicar. Bianca and Ricky argue as Bianca keeps asking Ricky's advice about what to wear to see him. He says it doesn't matter. They are still arguing while they wait in the church, and Bianca finally tells Ricky that Frank phoned to say he wasn't coming because he didn't want to cause any trouble. Ricky asks why she didn't tell him, but then confesses he has something to tell her too, and he has to do 180 hours community service and won't be able to go on honeymoon. Ricky is still fed up that Frank isn't coming to the wedding, and Bianca points out that David isn't either, and it's all a disaster and jinxed. They're still arguing when they meet the vicar, who manages to stop them. Tony is at work when Polly's photographer calls in sick and she has to go and get a front page story from a burglary victim. She suggests Tony could do it, and Max is not pleased, saying that he messed up yesterday and now we're giving him a fun job to do - it doesn't send the right signals. Polly says maybe he just needs a bit of motivation and this will help, and Max agrees. In the taxi there, Polly asks why Tony's so miserable and he says it's because he didn't get much sleep with a baby in the house. Polly says she didn't know he was married and Tony says it's far more complicated than that. Polly investigates, and Tony reveals that he's living with his ex, her child, which may or may not be his, and her brother. Polly presumably assumes he's unattached from this. They interview the man, Tony asks to go to the bathroom, and happens to see a press cutting on the wall of the hall. He asks the man about it and the story is greatly enhanced by the fact that he was in some sort of Jewish rights demonstration years ago, and this makes a decent front page story. Polly gives Tony second billing credit for the story as well as the photos since he was the one who discovered it. Tony is thrilled and goes home to tell Simon the good news and ask when they're going to the big party in the Vic. Simon has to tell him that they have guests and won't be going, revealing Billy, Courtney and Ben all in the lounge. Tony is not impressed! Bianca and Ricky had planned a night in, but she pops into the Vic for a quick drink. Pat and Kathy hide the decorations quickly, and Alan comes over and asks if she has heard from David. He offers to give her away if she likes, and if Carol doesn't mind. Bianca says err, yes, and now she seems double booked in this department! She and Ricky go home and sit down to watch a video, and the doorbell rings. They assume it's the pizza Ricky has ordered, but it's Grant and Phil who have a blanket and grab Ricky with it over his head and cart him off in a large van. Bianca calls out and wonders what's happened when she gets no answer.
Tuesday 15th April 1997
The stag and hen parties get under way as Pat and Carol take Bianca over to the Vic for her surprise party. Phil and Grant let Ricky out and ply everyone with cans of beer for the journey to a nightclub. The lads have a conversation about the place of women, and Grant puts forward his theory that it's natural for the blokes to be in charge, if you look at animals like wolves, lions, etc. Sanjay agrees, and says women should know their place, which is to cook for him, iron his shirts and bear his children. Mark points out a flaw in Grant's theory - that a queen bee has the male ones all slaving over her. Grant says that's just bees. Nigel says bees are aliens - have you ever seen their faces under a microscope? All bulging eyes and spiky bits. The girls are having a similarly sexist conversation in the Vic telling Bianca that men are totally useless at everything, and she'll learn when she's married. Bianca says they all seem to be trying to put her off, so Pat says she's sure Ricky will make a good husband for her. Pauline says that at least Ricky's had some practice, because he's been married before. Someone comments that he made a mess of it though, and Peggy says that Sam should never have married him. Pat smoothes things over saying that they were both far too young then, that's all. Pauline agrees, saying that just because he got it wrong before doesn't mean he will again - look at Pat, she's been married four times. Meanwhile, at the nightclub, Nigel manages to spill someone's drink and almost get into a fight. Phil and Grant intervene and suggest that the episode is forgotten, and the bloke who is hassling Nigel says maybe, if all ten of you buy me a drink. Nigel says look, I love a good fight, but we're here for a night out and we'll get thrown out if we do, how about a different way of settling it.. err arm wrestling. Grant agrees keenly, and the aggressive bloke agrees too, and they sit down and roll up their sleeves. They agree the stake is a round and Grant wins. The bloke shakes his hand and gets the drinks in. He asks Phil what he wants, and Phil says orange making the excuse he's driving. The bloke tells him to get a cab and Phil gives in and has a pint of lager. Grant and Nigel are a bit wary about this, but Phil says he knows what he's doing and will just have a couple, and Kathy will never know since they're staying at Nigel's that evening. Ricky tells everyone drunkenly how well-suited he and Bianca are, and she's not like Sam, who wanted to change him, he's happy where he is and just wants everything to stay the same. Meanwhile Bianca is telling Pat she wants to buy their own house as soon as possible. Ricky continues that Bianca is really good with children and she'll probably have one straight away, and he'd like about 10, while Bianca tells Pat that she and Ricky have agreed they don't want kids at all. The two drunken blokes groups team up and the newcomers are a group of workers on a cross-channel ferry from Dover, and have to return at 5am next morning. They suggest going to a club they know near here, which is a bit more interesting for a stag night. Grant agrees, and they all go off there. The ferry guys have a van that they say will be fine and they can all get in there. Simon is conscientiously baby-sitting while Tony wants to tell him about his job. Simon tells him they need to put the children to bed, wash and clean their teeth, etc. Tony is not keen, but agrees if Simon then reads his article. Tony has a long job of trying to get Courtney to sleep, and when he gets back Simon is asleep too. In the Vic, Huw and Lenny are doing the music and Huw says it's a dream come true, just them and all these women. Lenny says most of them are old enough to be his mother, and Huw says he prefers them older, they get up and make you breakfast in the morning. Lenny tries to chat up Bianca, but she says she's not interested, and Lenny asks what Ricky has that he hasn't, and Bianca whispers something in his ear that wipes that perpetual grin off his face. Three odd-looking blokes come in looking for Peggy, and she takes them to the back - they reappear later dressed only in two balloons each and do a little dance which seems to be a copy of the Tiswas/OTT balloon routine. Bianca tells everyone how she trusts Ricky and he won't do anything stupid, and she decides to go home soon, just as Peggy is getting ready for a lock-in party as it's 11pm, so she can no longer serve the public. Carol, Bianca and Tiffany leave and go back to Tiffany's. At the extremely seedy club the blokes arrive in, there is a scantily-clad woman wearing little except a large snake, and she dances around, and Grant waves a 20 pound note behind Ricky's head so she comes over and terrifies Ricky with the snake. They all carry on drinking for a while, until Ricky falls off his chair, while he's being fed pints and cigars and the ferry gang say they'll just have one more drink for the road...and one for the sea. Someone mentions the bridegroom, and he says, right one for the road, one for the sea and one for the groom, and orders three more rounds of drinks! Everyone is totally drunk, and Alan, Roy, Michael, Mark and Robbie, who was found asleep in the toilets, wander outside looking for the others. They assume that they have taken Ricky home, and say that they had better just get back to Walford, the others had to get the bridegroom home. They get into the van that brought them from Walford. Meanwhile, Grant, Phil, having had far more than just the couple of pints he promised, Nigel and Ricky are lying semi-conscious in the transit van on the A2 to Dover.
Thursday 17th April 1997
Ricky wakes up in a heap of bodies lying in the middle of a field against a tree. He wakes the others up and says what time is it, and where are we. They try to fathom out how they got into the middle of a field apparently nowhere near a road. They try to decide which way to go and Phil says Grant should be able to do this - what do they do in the army if they're lost. Grant says call for a helicopter, but anyway they have maps and compasses. They wander along trying to decide what happened last night. Grant's last memory was of the nightclub and those blokes from the ferry. Someone says they were supposed to be heading to a place in Dover but they decided they didn't want to so they got dropped off somewhere on the way. Grant says "does anyone else remember getting on a boat." Ricky says shut up, we could be in France for all we know, this isn't funny. Finally they hear a dog barking, and see a teenager wandering through the field. They go up to him and Phil asks where they are but he replies something to the effect of "Je ne parle pas anglais". Grant tells Phil to ask him for a telephone, so Phil says "is there a telephone around?" They all make signs for the telephone and the boy mentions la maison, la bas. Nigel says that's a house, maison is house. They all look at him and say "you can speak French? Why didn't you say?" Nigel says they seemed to be getting on OK. Anyway, the house is over there. At the Jacksons', Carol wakes Bianca and Tiffany arrives saying she's come to make her look beautiful, adding so she thought she'd better get here early. She does Bianca's make-up and Carol is standing around in curlers. Bianca wants to phone Ricky to make sure he's up, but Carol says it's bad luck and she mustn't speak to him on the day. She says that judging by the state of Robbie they had a good night, because Alan had to bring him home. He comes down for breakfast in an extremely fragile state, and goes away again. Alan is mentioned again and Carol says actually, he's already here - he stayed. Bianca looks thrilled, and Carol is smiling, and she says only on the couch - it was so late when they got back. Alan appears and says he'd better get his clothes, and can he change here? Carol says of course, and while you're there you might as well get the rest of your things, hadn't you? Tiffany is the only one who isn't thrilled, and Bianca apologises for going on about her wedding when she's on the verge of a divorce, but maybe next time Tiffany gets married she'll be doing all this, and she's bound to find someone else. Tiffany says she doesn't want anyone else. The lads go up to the house and when a man answers, Nigel is pushed forward to say Bonjour, and then waffle a bit in French with about half the words in English, including “Je suis une hovercraft”. The man looks at them with total incomprehension and shouts to the other room, "Phillipe, it's more of your lot." They look at him in amazement and ask how he speaks English, and where are they? He laughs and says they're in Kent and it must have been a good night if they don't even know which country they're in. The farmer has a group of French students staying there, but tells them it's OK these all speak English although they do have a lad who doesn't speak a word of English. They find out that they are miles from anywhere, and the farmer's wife is out with the car so he can't take them to town where there is one taxi, and it's a long way to London, at least an hour and a half. They ask if they can use the phone, and then have to decide who to call. Ricky says they can't call Bianca as she would go mad, and he wants to have children sometime in his life! They call Mark, who has the keys to Phil's Jag, and tell him their predicament. They ask him to take the suits to the church and they will meet him there. Pauline and Ruth have hangovers and Ruth says she had nightmares about balloons bursting all over her. Mark looks quizzical and Pauline says you don't want to know! Mark tells Pauline that he has to go out to get something for Ricky, and Pauline says why can't they do it themselves. Mark says he is an usher after all, and goes off to persuade Kathy to give him Phil's and Ricky's suits. She says they were supposed to get changed here, and how's Phil's head this morning? Mark asks what she's talking about, and Kathy asks if Phil has a hangover. Mark says he was on orange juice all night. She doesn't look too convinced and asks why they aren't coming back here, and Mark waffles a bit and says they are meeting them at the church and not coming back here at all beforehand, so, can he have the suits then? Meanwhile the groom is frantically trying to get to London, and they ask the farmer if there is any way at all they can get to the village. He says well... and they end up in the back of a tractor trailer, and even in their fragile states they notice the strong odour, and Ricky says Bianca is bound to notice that they stink after this. They get to the village, and the taxi driver's car is being repaired. The train goes from another village, but the bus doesn't go there until nearly 11am. They finally walk along the road trying to hitch a lift, and after nearly being run over they hide while Ricky thumbs a lift, the car does stop for Ricky, and they all pile in asking to go to the nearest town. They're dropped off there, and hitch a lift in a lorry to London. Bianca is in the car driving to the church and Mark and Sanjay are hanging around outside with the Jag wondering where they are. Mark has already told several people he's "just seen them and they're on their way," and "they're held up in traffic," and Sanjay says they're going to be in trouble if they don't get here in time. They tell Lenny, who's driving the bridal car, to drive round again, several times, then the lorry turns up and they jump out. Ricky and Phil change into their suits in the Jag as Bianca drives up again, and Mark tells Lenny to drive round again. Phil gives himself and Ricky a quick spray of mouthfreshener and Ricky worries that he is smelling of the farm, and Phil tells him to stand downwind! They go in and apologise to the vicar and sit down. Frank walks in. Ricky rushes to the back of the church and tells him to sit with him, but Frank says he just wanted to be here and will sit at the back and slip out, as he doesn't want to cause a fuss. The bride arrives, and everything goes without a hitch, with the vicar starting off by reminding everyone who's already married about their vows. Carol and Alan are happy, and Grant looks blank. Tiffany's baby starts to cry so she goes outside and is generally miserable. Bianca asks Ricky about the strange smell and he says well, it's an old church. They come out all smiles and have the photos taken.