A comedy set in the present era, in which a middle-aged man from Cricklewood is able to time-travel, to the era of the Second World War, and starring:
EPISODE 1 - RITES OF PASSAGE
Gary Sparrow, a TV repairman, is having a birthday party joined by his wife Yvonne's Open University mates. While Yvonne is distracted from Gary by her Psychology course, Gary goes off in search of Hugh Gatesgill House. He goes down Duckett's passage, and asks for directions at a pub, The Royal Oak. He finds he is in what he thinks is a 1940s theme pub. When he is charged tuppence farthing for a beer, he thinks they are taking the 40s theme too far. After going outside for a breather, he then thinks that he is actually having a dream. Deciding that it's a dream, he decides to chat up the barmaid, Phoebe Bamford. When she says she's not seen him there before, he says he's been working in America. He plays some songs on the piano and sings them, namely 'It's a Little Bit Funny', and 'And Now, The End Is Near'. When asked if he heard them in America, he claims he wrote them. Her father, Eric, meanwhile, suspects that he may be a German spy, and asks things like why he isn't in uniform. During an air-raid, he is made to go down to the shelter. Feeling claustrophobic, he decides to wake up, but then realises that it is not a dream after all - he has gone back into 1940. After having a sing-along, of another song he claims to have written, Eric, realises the money has been left up in the pub, and, refusing to leave it unattended, he goes up to get. Gary also decides to escape, just as Eric gets knocked unconscious when a bomb blows the till tray at him. Although the rest of the people think it unmanly, they allow Gary to perform 'The Kiss of Life', which he claims to have learnt in America. Having saved his life, and began to build his relationship with Phoebe, he fortunately finds he is able to get back into the 90s. When Yvonne wonders where he has been, he says he found a theme pub, where the barman fell through the trapdoor in the cellar, and he saved his life. Yvonne, however, is not convinced he's telling the truth. She bids him goodnight, and, feeling confused, he responds with the famous line of 'Goodnight Sweetheart'.
EPISODE 2 - FOOLS RUSH IN
Gary won't buy a suit for a job interview, insisting that it is not an important element. As a result, he fails to get the job. Meanwhile, he rings Marty Harty, telling him about his discovery of time-travel. He tells Ron, who's been listening, that he was just having a laugh, whilst Ron tells Gary that if he could go back in time, he'd like to look at Marilyn Monroe's knickers while she's being filmed. Gary later buys a 1940's suit, and goes back to 1940. There, he takes Phoebe dancing, and tells her he had a relationship in America with Marilyn Monroe. On the way back, she tells Gary what a gentle guy her Donald is, but then Gary meets him, and gets punched. Back in the 1990's, he tells Yvonne that he helped behind the bar in that so-called theme pub, and fell down the cellar trap-door. After discussing his failure to get the job, Yvonne tells Gary to do what he's good at, to which he tells her he's not putting up a satellite dish at that time of night, and she's pleased to see he's got his sense of humour back.
(Christopher Ettridge did not appear in this episode.)
EPISODE 3 - IS YOUR JOURNEY REALLY NECESSARY?
Yvonne notices Gary's suddenly become obsessed with the Blitz. One piece of information Gary picks up upon is a secret meeting between Churchill and Roosevelt. He also learns that the raid will be early that night. Yvonne wants Gary to come with her to visit her sister and her new-born baby, but Gary doesn't really want to go. He pretends he left his circuit tester at work, and needs to go back and get it, so Yvonne will have to visit on her own. He decides he'll have to go into the 1940's to warn everyone of the raid, but when he does so, only Phoebe believes him. He ends up in an underground air-raid shelter with Phoebe, where he pretends he wrote 'Imagine there's no heaven', helps deliver a baby, and wonders what to tell Yvonne, including the truth - that he was sheltering from the Blitz. Yvonne, meanwhile, is worried about Gary's disappearance, especially after hearing about a planted bomb, which Gary could have been caught under, whilst Ron tells her his suspicion of Gary being in a parallel universe, but Yvonne just tells him to get psychiatric help. The next morning, in the 1940's, Gary gets arrested for not having the correct ID papers. He convinces the officers that he's who he says he is, by using the information about Churchill and Roosevelt's secret meeting. When he returns to Yvonne in 1993, he tells her vhe was delivering a baby. She tells him how she thought he might have been caught under the bomb, whereupon he tells her about her and her imagination.
EPISODE 4 -THE MORE I SEE YOU
Yvonne finds some war-time stuff in Gary's briefcase and is cross because she thought he was over his obsession with the Blitz. He tells her he'd been arranging a surprise birthday party for her, with a 1940's theme, but when she doesn't believe him, he sarcastically tells her the truth - that he goes time-travelling to supply essentials to his war-time girlfriend, whereupon she recommends psychiatric help. Also, she is off to Huddersfield University for the weekend, and Gary puts his foot in it by suggesting she'd sleep with her tutor to get a good grade, whereupon she tells him she'll get a good grade because of the effort she puts in, and then sleep with her tutor because he's gourgeous. Later, he asks Ron to print him some war-time fivers and some ID that would pass in the 1940's, telling him it's for his cousin who's a dramatist, but Ron already realises that Gary can time-travel, so he tells him the full story, including his arrest for not having the correct ID. Gary and Ron arrange to go back to the 1940's together, but it is discovered that Ron can't time-travel. Whilst in the 1940's, Gary and Phoebe get talking about how she only married Donald to avoid spending the rest of her life looking after her father. When she suggests living together, he tells her that he and Marilyn Monroe got married, and that she has followed him to his house in Cricklewood, and Gary and Phoebe end up having a bust-up. Back at home in 1993, Yvonne has already gone, and Gary discovers a message on his answering machine from an angry Ron, accusing Gary of making a mug out of him, and threatening to tell Yvonne. Gary drives up to Huddersfield, where he sees Yvonne dancing closely with her tutor. He asks if Ron's been up, and, feeling jealous of Yvonne's turtor, suggests some of the things they end up saying, which would lead to quite a cosy night in. Yvonne offers Gary a dance, and ends up saying those lines to him, whilst Gary has Phoebe on his mind.
EPISODE 5 - I GET ALONG WITHOUT YOU VERY WELL
Gary and Yvonne decide to share more hobbies, and so they take up ballroom dancing. When Gary visits Ron, he gives him a war-time newspaper, which Ron tests, proving he was telling the truth about his time-travelling. Gary also tells Ron that he and Phoebe have split up. That evening, Gary and Yvonne watch a dancing video, after which, Gary hears a news item about a plucky East End pensioner called Phoebe Sparrow, who lived through the Blitz. He tells Ron that it changes everything - if he married Phoebe, and he doesn't go back, he could change the course of history. He tells him about how Phoebe thinks he's married to Marilyn Monroe, whereupon Ron gives him a photograph of her, which he signs, for his next journey. He asks Ron to cover for him, by going to Lithuania to see a match, letting Yvone and Stella think Gary's with him. In the 1940's, Gary gets run over, and in hospital, he and Phoebe re-unite. Whilst going through Gary's belongings, Reg finds the photograph of Marilyn, and his present address paper, whereupon he calls at that address, finding a woman looking much older, and a bloke, and assumes Marilyn just looks completely different on her photograph, and has moved in a fancy piece, which Gary goes along with, and pretends to be upset. Meanwhile, in 1993, Ron gets back before Gary, and tells Yvonne that Gary's been arrested, after an incident where he mistook a museum for a pub, and ended up streaking with a flag draped around him. When Gary does get back, Yvonne is ashamed of him and his behaviour. Later that afternoon, Gary discovers the address of Phoebe Sparrow, and visits. There, an old lay thinks he's a journalist, but he soon explains he might be her husband, whereupon she laughs in his face. A black woman then comes to the door, and it is revealed to Gary in one moment that she is Phoebe Sparrow.
EPISODE 6 - IN THE MOOD
Yvonne is furious with Gary when she sees the bill he's run up on war-time stuff. He promises to sell it, whereupon Ron looks after it for him. He also asks Gary to invest some money for him, in Eurotronics, so as to make a fortune, only he worries about meddling with history. Back in the 1940's, after Reg bears news that the King will be visitting, Gary goes back to 1993, and finds out that it will be in the hospital. There, Gary, Phoebe and Eric, disguised as doctors, meet the King, where Phoebe faints, and Gary asks if there's any doctors about. That evening, Gary takes Phoebe for dinner at The Savoy, where he plans to say farewell, as, he tells her, he's returning to America to do a film. There, it is interrupted by news that Donald's been taken as a prisoner-of-war. He returns to Yvone in 1993, unexpectedly, whom she thinks has been in Runcorn, where he has sold his war-time stuff. When he realises he's wearing Neville Chamberlain's dinner jacket, he tells her he tried it on in the toilets, during which he had his suit pinched. He gives her a present he intended for Phoebe, and tells her the intentions of that present, using hypothetical people. Yvonne, meanwhile, has been looking at a video of the King's visit, which Gary left in the machine, and tells him the doctor's a dead ringer for him, whereupon a confused Gary tells her he might have looked like that if he'd been around then.
EPISODE 1 - DON'T GET AROUND MUCH ANYMORE
After a dinner party, Yvonne criticises Gary for being a social cripple, and, after talking about how they can't afford Maple Avenue, persuades him to patch things up with Ron. When he does so, Ron finally persuades him to invest some money in Eurotronics. Back in the 1940's, he re-unites with Phoebe, and discovers her father was killed a few months back, and Phoebe and Reg (who is on sick leave due to a ruptured ear-drum) now run the pub. When Gary invests the money, he finds himself with a Wilson and Mainwaring. After persuading Mainwaring to let him invest, he meets the incompetent tea-boy, and asks if he's called Pike, but he's called Major. After telling Phoebe he's going back to America to film 'My Fair Lady', he once more says goodbye, and returns to 1993. He tells Yvonne he's been getting a mortgage, but she can't come because it's an Arab Bank. Meanwhile, Gary and Ron go to claim their share certificate, which Gary claims his Grandad left in an air-tight Oxo tin, before losing his memory. Unfortunately, he discovers that after Arbuthnot brothers Cecil and Harold had a bust-up when Cecil had an afair with Harold's wife, they formed rival businesses. The manager, as a church-going man, decided to invest Gary's money in Harold's business (Arbuthnot of Ealing), which went into liquidation, whilst Cecil's business (Eurotronics) flourished. Gary is horrified to discover that the manager was the incompetent tea-boy, Major. After cooling down, he asks if they do mortgages.
EPISODE 2 - I GOT IT BAD AND THAT AIN'T GOOD
When Gary discovers he has no sexual relationship with Yvonne, Ron persuades him to go back and see Phoebe. He goes back to the 1940's, gives Phoebe one of Yvonne's silk blouses, and tells her his film's been dropped. He meets a Polish guy called Ludo, who's moved to England after his home has been taken over by the Germans. Meanwhile, yvonne wonders where her blouse has gone. Back in the 1940's, Gary is suspicious of Ludo, with whom Phoebe is investing her fathers savings. After Ludo decides to change his monicker to 'Robert House' (the surname he got off a coffee jar), Gary and Phoebe end up rowing, and Gary has a drink. Back in 1993, a drunken Gary gets arrested by Reg's grandson for sattempted drink-driving. He rings Yvonne, and when she says she's only heard of Whitechapel Road in Monopoly, he tells her he's going directly to jail and not passing 'Go!'. She asks if it's got anything to do with him wearing her blouse, but the line then goes dead. As Gary gets into the police-car, he offers to drive.
EPISODE 3 - JUST ONE MORE CHANCE
Yvonne and Gary are worried about Gary's court case, after drink-driving. Gary plans to plead extenuating circumstances, whilst Ron bets Yvonne he'll come out with not a stain on his character, although it's only a £5 bet, - which Ron loses. Later that afternoon, after Gary's lost his driving license, he also loses his job. Ron, after offering a pretend job so as to keep Yvonne off his case, persuades him to take a holiday in the 1940's with Phoebe, but even there, everything's dull. Yvonne, meanwhile, persuades Gary to see a counsellor, Jenny, her old school-friend, and, after she and Yvonne argue over old times at school, Yvonne and Gary agree it's not the final whistle, and Gary decides to play over-time. The next morning though, Yvonne tells Gary that sex is like a complicated machine - it takes more than one bolt to fix it, although Gary, sticking up for himself claims 'Two!'. When he visits Phoebe, and has to console her, Reg scares him by telling him and Phoebe that Yvonne's there, but when he realises she's Phoebe's auntie, he breathes a sigh of relief.
EPISODE 4 - WHO'S TAKING YOU HOME TONIGHT?
Ron tells Gary to stop taking liberties and letting Yvonne think he's a slave-driver. He does, and tells her that time-selling's a time-consuming job, but Yvonne is led to believe he's trying to avoid her after the hard times she's given him about the court case. Meanwhile, in 1941, Phoebe invites Gary to dinner at her place, whilst back in 1994, Yvonne tells Gary to tell her the truth about why he works all those hours, and admits Ron's a slave-driver, whereupon he is made to promise he'll put his foot down. He ends up suggesting he and Yvonne go out to dinner one night, and Yvonne decides on that very night. He discusses the dilemma of dinner with two women on the same night, with Ron, and suddenly comes up with the idea of taking Yvonne to this Indian Restaurant at the present day end of Duckett's Passage, then he can pretend he has a dodgy tummy, keep going to the toilet, climb out of the window, go over to see Phoebe, there, keep popping to the phone-box to check in at work, and spend the evening flitting between the two, and, as there's an air-raid in 1941 at 9.30pm, he'll tell Phoebe he's needed back at work, but Ron worries him with the idea that the bog in the Indian may not have a window. That night, he goes through with his plan, but things go wrong when the Restaurant Manager goes oin about advertising leaflets of all things, and Yvonne persuades Gary to do business with him. He quickly goes to the toilet, where to his relief, there is a window. Things go wrong further when Ron provides wine for him and Phoebe, which is German. Then, in 1994, first Gary falls in the toilet, then when he has to do the quote for the Restaurant Manager, the price is too low, and he gets an extra free helping of Chicken Tikka. Yvonne worries about Gary's health when he keeps going to the toilet, and Phoebe thinks he's trying to avoid her, until the raids actually happens. Back in 1994, for Gary's last escape to 1941, Ron has to semmingly drag Gary out of the restaurant, and ends up getting ranted at by Stella. Suddenly, Gary asks hypothetically if Ron would be able to do the business for the Restaurant Manager for his price, whereupon Ron says he can if he wants to go bankrupt, and, when he asks why, Gary decides he'll tell him later.
(Christopher Ettridge did not appear in this episode.)
EPISODE 5 - WISH ME LUCK...
When Yvonne gets a promotion, and may have to move to Macclesfield, Gary decides, that while she's away, he'll fake his own suicide, and live in 1941. Ron tries to talk him out of it, but he still does it. In 1941, Gary, for ethical reasons, can't live with Phoebe in the pub, and so lives in one of Mrs. Bloss's flats. Reg arranges for him to do fire-watch duty. Meanwhile, Yvonne comes back unexpectedly, and unaware of Gary's apparent suicide. When Ron tries to console her, she thinks he's making a pass, and Ron realises the reason she was upset was she didn't get the job. Meanwhile, in 1941 that night, after a bombing, Gary, looking at the casualties, asks why they weren't all down the air-raid shelter, whereupon Reg tells him that not everyone likes it down there. He tells him one of them was on the roof, and Gary, shocked by this, asks what on earth he was doing up there, whereupon Reg tells him he was fire-watching, like Gary will be doing the following night.
EPISODE 6 - ...AS YOU WAVE ME GOODBYE
Gary soon regrets faking his suicide. Mrs. Bloss, his landlady, teases him about his fire-watching duty, and questions his relationship with Phoebe, whereupon he tells her they perform sexual aerobics all the time. He attempts to get out of his fire-watching duty, by pretending to have hurt his leg, but has no joy. He gets into strife with Phoebe for providing Mrs. Bloss with the gossip about them performing sexual aerobics, and she tells him how gossip like that could cost her her license. Eventually, Gary goes back to 1994, where Ron reveals his suicide note was never found, and Yvonne thinks he's in Inverness. Ron tells Gary about how Yvonne thought he was making a pass, and forces him to tell Yvonne how it was a misunderstanding, and get her to tell Stella. Gary tells Yvonne, who agrees to tell Stella later. Yvonne and Gary decide to have a party, where they discover Ron and Wendy at it under a pile of coats, which Ron begs Yvonne not to tell Stella. Meanwhile, in 1941, Reg and Phoebe are cross with Gary for not turning up for his fire-watching duty, and Gary agrees to do it that night. There, he manages to extinguish some incendiary bombs, and feels a hero, but when he returns to 1994, he is all shaken up. He learns Yvonne took pity Ron and squared things with Stella, after learning one doesn't stand a chance once seduced by Wendy, while Gary hears the sound of bombing ringing inside his head.
EPISODE 7 - WOULD YOU LIKE TO SWING ON A STAR
Ron has to pay Gary his first commission cheque to show Yvonne, and urges Gary to find a proper job soon. Meanwhile, Yvonne is in a play, where Lance has to play her boyfriend Justin, of whom Gary is jealous, whilst he has to do the costumes. After talking to Ron, Gary suddenly comes up with the idea of buying war antiques like Frank Sinatra in 1941, then selling them in 1994. Meanwhile, in 1941, Phoebe talks Gary into taking part in a variety performance. There he performs 'If Somebody Loves You', which he pretends he wrote, whilst Reg performs terribly, he even asks "What will Hitler do after he's seized all Russia's wheat and oil? Make the biggest victory pancake!", which he picked up when Gary had a joke with him earlier. Back in 1994, Yvonne tells Gary how Lances' suit had fleas in it, and, after he quit, Gregory wants him to audition for the part of Justin, after Yvonne tells him she won't snog anyone other than her husband.
EPISODE 8 - NICE WORK IF YOU CAN GET IT
Gary has a cover story to tell Yvonne, that he has to keep flying to Scotland to clinch a deal with Sushimi Oil Ltd, with Japanese businessmen Mr. McCrae and Mr. Yakimoto. Meanwhile, in 1941, Mr. Wix offers him a deal to publish his songs, but he won't accept it, much to Phoebe's disappointment. On the night, he is relieved that his performance is interrupted by a raid. He ends up arriving late for the play in the nick of time, and when Yvonne's first line is "You may as well admit it. I know you've been sleping with that common little barmaid", he faints. Ron announces that Gary's been under a lot of pressure recently, and he blames the Japanese. While Yvonne is angry with Ron, one of the audience comments "All a bit 'avante guarde' for my liking".
EPISODE 9 - LET YOURSELF GO
Yvonne tells Gary she's pregnant, and he hopes to God it won't be a girl, because he feels he has no experience. While she visits her mother, Gary goes with Phoebe to Buckinghamshire (where he pretends he and Phoebe are married), to meet her child cousins, Peter and Sally, and an American guy, Harry, who shows him how to entertain them. Gary is suspicious of him, and has a bit of a scare when he talks about America. He gets a good bond with Sally, and dedicates one of 'his' songs to her. In 1994, when Yvonne gets back, he tells her he agrees a baby's a good idea, only he finds it was a false alarm. He tells Yvonne they can always try aggain, and, thinking of Sally, decides they should have a girl.
EPISODE 10 - DON'T FENCE ME IN
In 1941, Phoebe tells Gary how she may lose her license, and begs him to help her. When he goes back to 1994, he discovers building work being done in Duckett's Passage, which could block off his time-travelling journeys, whilst the workmen think he's a ghost. He accidentally ruins a new jacket of Yvonne's. Back in 1941, George Harrison, a man from the brewery, tells Phoebe she can keep her license if she sleeps with him. As he goes back to 1994, he scares off some glue-sniffers, especially when he speaks to them. When this item appears on the news, and Yvonne mentions how they all gave the same description, he tells her how they probably stuck together, whereupon Yvonne sarcastically suggests sending it to a Christmas cracker company, which could pay up to 3p for jokes like that, and about 5,000 could pay for her jacket. Suddenly, there's a phone-call from Mary, a colleague of Yvonne's, who's being harassed by her supervisor, Duncan Grainger. Yvonne suggests proving it to the manager, by catching him on tape, whereupon Gary comes up with the idea of doing the same thing to George Harrison. In 1941, after getting a confession from George, Gary tells him he won't tell anyone about it if he lets Phoebe keep her license. He agrees to the deal. Back in 1994, Gary rejects a lie-in with Yvonne, because he says he has an urgent breakfast meeting, but she catches him and Ron on telly, petitioning against the destruction of a slice of London's history, whereupon he tells her he and Ron had a bacon butty whilst collecting signatures, and therefore, it was a breakfast meeting. On Saturday, in 1941, it's Phoebe's birthday, and Gary has a bit of a struggle getting to 1941, due to some security gates and a portakabin. He manages to break through, and when Ron sees him jump out of the portakabin and away into 1941, just in time to avoid a security guard and his dogs, Ron attempts to do the same, but ends up landing on the ground in 1994, where he tells the guard how nice it will be when the building's finished. In 1941 meanwhile, Gary presents Phoebe with a miniature birthday cake, telling her there is a war on. They talk about how he wishes he could be there more often, after which, she offers him a piece of cake. On hearing the words 'Piece of Cake', he tells her how he wishes it was.
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