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Poetry

This is where I share with you my creative, imaginative side; the one that is filled with passion, and a desire for the unobtainable. I only write about what I know. So what you are reading here are parts of my soul, and my past. I hope you enjoy my expressions and glean something from the experiences behind each one.

(PLEASE NOTE ALL POETRY IS ORIGINAL UNLESS OTHERWISE STATED)

(Unmasked, Courtesy of Gail Gastfield)


ADOPTION



 

~ Loss ~

It is there.
Waiting for that unspoken word,
the unseen look.
That brings forth the pain and anger
of the undeniable truth,
the unchangeable past.
The right one has gone, not to return.
The wrong one remains,
to remind me of MY choice
that will forever grieve in my heart.
Knowing that my arms hold a lie,
is enough to break me,
in spirit, inside.
Forgiveness is not a part of my life-long journey.
My wrong was to sever the bond that was right,
by keeping a love of lies.
~ Dream Time ~ 

Even in my dreams, you are there.
In me, through me, ME.
Wanting an existence that I cannot give you
For even in my sleep, my body rejects you.

When I awake I dream
of one so small
My body and my mind yearning for the one
That will be the start of my downfall
OR
The fulfilment of my life

I will never know 
But the pain and continual ache
I have chosen to bear upon myself
By not to bring you forth.


LOST LOVE


 ~ You ~

I want you, I need you, I yearn for your touch.
To feel your lips upon my body
is something I dream of.
When the rain dances on the roof.
I imagine your fingertips, playing over my skin.
Lightly caressing me.
In turn I touch you,
Kiss you,
taste you.
In my mouth and my soul.

I feel you alive under my lips.
Sucking and breathing.
I bring you to the brink, only to stop.
To prolong our pleasure means infinite *fantasies*,
are lived out one by one.
Our bodies know now boundaries,
for each to the other bringing untold sensations.
Lips, mouths, souls and bodies
moving in a primitive dance.
That only we two know so well.
~ Dead Love ~

The sun had gone down on this love,
Now is the time for goodbyes.
Look back and remember the good times.
Look forward and see a brighter future.
We had a good love,
but at times we fuelled a hot hate.
We laughed and cried, not wanting to let go.
But love sometimes dies, and cannot be revived.
No matter how hard we try.
I am a dependent, tied to you through habit,
which has to be broken.
Not wanting to be alone without touch & comfort
But all the while being touched with feeling
and comforted without love.
It is enough to finally bring forth
the words that must be said
"I want you, I need you, I care for you
but to love you, I cannot".
I hate what you have done, 
what you have made me become.
In the game that we played...I lost.


EMOTIONS


~ Haze ~
Sometimes I feel cold, at a loss, without direction.
For no reason other than inner turmoil 
that is sparked without warning;
by past hurts, memories and words
Easily it overtakes me and drives me down,
making me see life through a haze.
Shadowed by black clouds.

Bit by bit I fight back.
Clutching at the ray of light
that slowly begins to shine through.
Laying claim to reality,
which brings me back to the norm of today.
Living in hope, looking forward to tomorrow.
Instead of giving life to dead events
and remembering what was, instead of
What IS.

~ Inside ~
The black clouds swiftly graze across the sky
Cutting off the warmth and light
from the life giving Sun.
A cold wind begins to blow
and a chill makes its way into my bones.
I huddle tight within myself
Seeking shelter from the harshness of the world
I close my eyes and wait.

~ Mother ~
As like the clouds that crash upon the sun
and the cold wind that kills its heat
Your words invade my soul and takes the warmth
of the love I have tried to maintain and keep
Even amid all the hurt and unkind mud
You continue to caress upon me


"N"

She comes between us in the dead of the nite
always on my mind, always out of sight.
You touched her, all the while touching me
stirring the same emotions, reactions
in two different bodies.
One right, one wrong.
Only once she was with you
once too much, once too far.
She is away in distance but not in thought
I hate you for it, I loathe her for being there
and allowing what was, to be.

She is here now as you love me
touch me, are with me
Taking from me what was rightfully mine
Easily taken and willingly given.
I wasn't there, nor was I near
I am complete no more

My half is lost but remains
to haunt me and to taunt me.
Always reliving the pain and the fear
that knowing what happened then, can be again
Or has been again since, with another.

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