THE OTHER PAGES-Terry Prattchett
TERRY PRATCHETT

"What is this thing, anyway?"
-- (Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man)

He is THE BEST and THE FUNNY-EST fantasy/humor author in the world...

"You can't trample infidels when you're a tortoise. I mean, all you could do is give them a meaningful look."
-- (Terry Pratchett, Small Gods)

HE IS...(DRUM ROLE PLEASE!)

Terry Pratchett

He is the kind of guy who...who...who grows carnivorous plants and thinks' that the world would be a better place if there were more Oragatangs. He is also very funny.

"Poets have tried to describe Ankh-Morpork. They have failed. Perhaps it's the sheer zestful vitality of the place, or maybe it's just that a city with a million inhabitants and no sewers is rather robust for poets, who prefer daffodils and no wonder."
-- (Terry Pratchett, Mort)
Terry Pratchett has a lot of books, find a list of them all here, he has basically two series off books, the ever popular discworld series and the 3-book series of those little guys, called Nomes. He has also written OTHER books that are equally as good. I still love the Discworld, because...well because it is the discworld.

"Verence would rather cut his own leg off than put a witch in prison, since it'd save trouble in the long run and probably be less painful."
-- (Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies)
Currently my favourite character in Terry's books is...Carrot. He is the 6feet tall, and captin of Ankh-Morpork's city watch, who's other members include... Commander Vimes-who is married to the owner of the hospital for sick dragons, Sergeant Colon-happily married 'cuz he works nights and she days, Corporal Nobbs-no comment, Constable Detritus-a Troll...enough said, Constable Angua-Carrots' love and a female werewolf, Lance- Constable Bauxite-also a troll, Lance-Constable Bluejohn- Also a troll, plus there are many many more. Carrot is also the rightful heir to Ankh-Mopork's dusty, and unoccupied throne.

Carrots books include...

MEN AT ARMS

"Carrot was two metres tall but he'd been brought up as a dwarf, and then further up as a human."
-- (Terry Pratchett, Men At Arms)

SOUL MUSIC

"Until an unfortunate axe incident, Gloria had been captain of the school basketball team."
-- (Terry Pratchett, Soul Music)

FEET OF CLAY

NO QUOTES YET

AND GUARDS! GUARDS!

"'E's fighting in there!" he stuttered, grabbing the captain's arm. 'All by himself?' said the captain. 'No, with everyone!' shouted Nobby, hopping from one foot to the other."
-- Making Friends and Hitting People (Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!)

Unless you have read a few of his books, by now you are probably wondering... "what the hell is the discworld?", or more likely..."huh?". Well my un-enlightened friend it is now time for you to learn about the magic of the discworld. If you already know all about this, then you know how long it will take to explain it because we will explain things like:
  • Basics
  • Charecters
  • Gods
  • Guilds
    •

    So if you don't want to hear it jump down the page to... here.

    Still with me? Good. Now let's begin with the...

    Basics;

    The disworld is basically a planet, a very different planet, that is home to humans, trolls, and dwarfs, among other things. As we all know, our planet is round, right? But the discworld is as flat as...as...as a disc with mountains, and houses on it, hence the name, discworld.

    Now this discworld, could not orbit the sun like our plant(don't ask why), so it rides on the back of four HUGE elephants(each has a name I don't know them), and the elephants stand on the shell of an enormous turtle(named the Great A' Turin) which swims the disc through space. Thus the origin of the famous Ankh-Mopork' expression 'De Chelonian Mobile' meaning; The Turtle Moves!

    "No enemies had ever taken Ankh-Morpork. Well technically they had, quite often; the city welcomed free-spending barbarian invaders, but somehow the puzzled raiders found, after a few days, that they didn't own their horses any more, and within a couple of months they were just another minority group with its own graffiti and food shops."
    -- (Terry Pratchett, Eric)

    Characters;

    The discworld is big so there are alot of charecters, and alot of things going on all at the same time. Some charecters appear altleast once in every book, like death. "I EXPECT, he said, THAT YOU COULD MURDER A PIECE OF CHEESE? -Death talks to the Death of Rats (Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man)"

  • The Great A'Turin- The Great A'turin carries the disc trough space, although it's sex, is still undetermend, and is probally one of the greatest misteries on the disc. 'De Chelonian Mobile', He can be found swimming through; ALL OF THE DISCWORLD BOOKS
  • Rincewind- He is a Wizzard, well sort of. He is a very uh... what's the word? Clumsy? no, Stupid? almost, a bumling idiot? YES THAT'S IT! He stars in these books- Interesting Times, .
  • The Luggage- The Luggage is Rincewinds, constant compainion, well... most of the time. It is, a piece of luggage with hundreds of legs that wanders where it pleases(ussually with Rincewind), and eats large things whole. He appears in-The Colour Of Magic, The Light Fantastic, Sourcery, Eric, and Interesting Times.
  • Cut-Me-Own-Throat(CMOT) Dibbler- He is frequently seen trying to sell Hot dogs, On-a stick. He apears in-The Colour Of Magic, Guards Guards, Moving Pictures, Reaper MAn, Small Gods(As a distant relative, Cut-Me-Own-Hand-Off Dyblah), and Men At Arms.
  • You Bastard- The smartest mathmatician in the discworld, He is also a camel.
  • The Librarian - He is the librarian for the Unseen University(witch you can plainly see). He is also an orangutang who only says "Ook". He appears in The Colour of Magic, Equal Rites, Sourcery, Guards! Guards! Moving Pictures, Reaper Man, Small Gods, Lords and Ladies, Men At Arms, Soul Music, and Interesting Times.
  • The Busar- The Busar is a wizard, at the Unseen University, who needs to take Dried Frog pills every day, or else he will ramble and act crazier than with them. He is in the following books- Moving Pictures, Reaper Man, Lords and Ladies, Soul Music, and Interesting Times.
  • The Dean- The Dean is the head of the Unseen University, and is in the following books- Eric, Moving Pictures, Reaper Man, Lords and Ladies, Soul Music, and Interesting Times.
  • Ponder Stibbons- Defenitly the most intellegent of the wizards. He invented 'HEX' the discworld version of a computer that runs on softlore.
  • Esmerelda (Granny) Wetherwax- Granny is one of the wyrd sisters, the other two are, Nanny Ogg, and Margrat. These three basicly save thier town in every book, and are hillarious along the way. Their books are- Wyrd Sisters, Witches Abroad, and Lords and Ladies.
  • Gytha (Nanny) Ogg- She is one of the three witches.
  • Magrat Garlick- She is a future queen and the youngest of the wyrd sisters.
  • Grebo- This is Nanny Ogg's sweat little kitty, in her mind. But in reality she is a fierce tomcat, with long claws. Grebo's favorite passetimes are, raping, fighting, and eating(what he just killed. Grebo can be found stalking through- Wyrd Sisters, Witches Abroad, and Lords and Ladies.
  • Death- Death is the one who liberates the souls of the dead from thier body's. He is a skeleton, without feeling, trying to get them. In the process he makes a fool of himself, but no one laughs at death. No one. He loves cats, and can be summoned by 8 wizzards, with the Rite of AshkEnte. Death slices through the following books; Death appears in every book. (I think)
  • Mort- Mort was Death's apprentice at one time, until he and Death's daughter rebeled, and left. Mort(in case you don't know) is the french word for death. Mort appears in- Mort.
  • Carrot- Above
  • Angua- Above
  • Corporal CW St J "Nobby" Nobbs- Above
  • Samuel Vimes- Above
  • Detritus- Above
  • Seatgent Colon- Above
  • Lord Havelock Vetinari- Lord Vetinari is the Patrician of Ankh-Mopork He runs the city, avoiding assasination attempts, and trying to hold his post. He is very intellegent, and has everything figured out, you don't want to cross his path.

    • "The Yen Buddhists are the richest religious sect in the universe. They hold that the accumulation of money is a great evil and a burden to the soul. They therefore, regardless of personal hazard, see it as their unpleasant duty to acquire as much as possible in order to reduce the risk to innocent people."
    -- (Terry Pratchett, Witches Abroad)

    Gods;

    The gods of the disc sit around a way up-there, and play games with the fates of men. Of course the god 'Fate' always wins. The basic principle behind the gods of the disc, is that the gods of the disc thrive on the people who believe in it. When people belive less in a god it grows weaker. In that respect it is possible to create gods, with only one or two people believing in it. The gods are beter explained, in Terry's book 'Small Gods'. Here is a list of the gods...

    "He was always at a loss when people acted like this. When machines went funny you just oiled them or prodded them or, if nothing else worked, hit them with a hammer. Nomes didn't respond well to this treatment."
    -- (Terry Pratchett, Diggers)

    Guilds;

    There are many guilds in Ankh-morpork. For instance, the thiefs guild. They are aloud to steal as long as they are part of the guild, if they are not, then the watch kindly escorts them back to the guild, where they are hurt, severlyu in a manar that they will never steal again, without permission from the guild. The guilds are the Lord Vetinari's strange, intellegent way, of keeping the city under his command. Here is a list of all of the guilds(that I know of).

    "Not matter how fast light travels it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it."
    -- (Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man)

    Here are some Pratchett links;

  • THE L-SPACE a VERY big Pratchett page(you have been warned)
  • The Great A'TurinA very cool site.
  • Terry Pratchett and the Discworld Another excellent site.
  • OTHER links Some OTHER Terry links, there are allot of them!
    •
    "He did of course sometimes have people horribly tortured to death, but this was considered to be perfectly acceptable behaviour for a civic ruler and generally approved of by the overhelming majority of citizens." [footnote: The overhelming majority of citizens being defined in this case as everyone not currently hanging upside down over a
    scorpion pit]
    -- (Terry Pratchett, Sourcery)

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    "The river Ankh is probably the only river in the universe on which the investigators can chalk the outline of the corpse."
    -(Terry Pratchett, Men At Arms)

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