The first ever web story!!!!!!
1. read it
2. continue it or edit it (don't need to finish it)
3. send the new copy to me via email: cherixe@hotmail.com
4. if you want to start another story.. then email me and we can start it!
5. please visit my hp and answer the 10 questions !
Genre: Romantic
anyway, what started as a web story ended up becoming my story!
no one gets credit except for me!
some people read it, but noone had the guts to continue it!
hopefully some of you will edit it and tell me what you think.
by the way , you better still go answer the 10 Q's
This story was
written in 1999, was inspired by one night when me and my then-boyfriend went
to 17 ave after a drink. As we were crossing the street, a car promply hit my
boyfriend who hit me, in which I flew onto the ground. Apparently, the car was
rounding the corner and didn’t see either of us in the pouring rain. As a crowd
gathered, we assured everyone we were alright. It set me thinking: what if one of us really did hurt? How
would we feel? The first story had involved a car accident, but I couldn’t
build the suspense, it was simply way too fast. I gave up the ending in hopes
another can provide me with ideas. Unfortunately, no one replied. I finished it
on my own and so it remained a hastily done piece. It wasn’t until 2 years
later (2001) that I recalled this story and rewrote it. I will leave the
original here, as well as the modified one. Enjoy! Any comments or compare and
contrasts would be appreciated!
Romantic Rain
It was a wet summer's night.
Romantic rain was what she called it when the sun set bright and the water kept
on drizzling down only to be evaporated into the steamy air. I took in a
breath of fresh air as me and my love strolled down the busy street. It was a
lazy Friday night, the day of no worries, fun and play.
"Let's go for a drink" She said with a twinkle in her eye, or
should I say my fiancé's eye. We were set to get married a month from now. A
week after the vow we both would be off to a month's trip around Europe. By
then she wouldn't qualify as my fiancé anymore but my wife. But it was too weird
to name ourselves that title. Husbands and wives got boring as time passed by.
I held her hand tighter and she did the same, smiling. No. We would be called
husband and wife, but at heart we were still fiancés, a young couple that would
resist the effects of age. Not that we wouldn't get old, but would do so
gracefully, beautifully. Beautiful. I loved the word, it was just perfect to
describe us.
We stepped out of the wet and into a candle lit pub. We have
been here many times, so that even the waitresses nodded at us in recognition.
Sitting by the window, she ordered a margarita and me a beer. But by the end of
the night, two drinks later, she was beside me whispering sweet nothings.
"I
love you." She said, eyes glazed.
"I
love you too." I paused, arm around her. "and you know I mean it."
"Let's go home and make love." She kissed me a deep one and
stood up, walking steadily to the door. I followed her like a hungry dog
in love. My feeling for her was forever. It was like this 4 years ago, will
never change 400 years from now. The rain had stopped revealing a crystal sky
starry night.
"Romantic rain yielding a romantic night." she said nodding to
the heavens. "Honey.. I can see the brightest stars. Do you know what they
are?" She pointed, I looked. There were two stars brighter than the rest.
They twinkled and shimmered, two winking eyes in the sky.
"No,
I don't... The Big Zipper?" I joked.
"No,
silly." She bumped into me playfully. "They are you and me... two
distant stars that have fallen in place." I nodded, there was so much
truth in that statement. Fate encompassed our lives, the day we met, the way
we met were so unreal. Two lovers to be trapped in an elevator alone in the
college when both of us didn't even go there. I kissed her one long one, on the
middle of the sidewalk.
"Come on." She said, pulling away. "This could wait for
home."
"Right." the truth was I couldn't wait. I recalled the kinky
moments in our life. The skinny-dipping in the lake, the tub of Jell-O. I also
remembered the more romantic events, the time when we filled the pond with lit
candles on paper boats and watched as each one of them burned out in the dark.
We ventured towards the
car, parked across from the playground, their secret place. It was well hidden
from the public by rows of trees that surrounded the park, making it one of the
most private places anyone could find in the open. We discovered the
park serpidiously when her dog ran into the bushes leaving us trailing behind.
It wasn't spectacular, just a set of swings, a slide and a see saw, but it was
here that we spent romantic nights together, squeaking on the swings or just
talking on the bench.
A scream.
A bang, a thud.
Silence and then a moan.
We froze, hearts
beating fast, sweat purfusing our pores. The scream was not our own,
but yet it was just as blood curdling.
"Oh my God..." she whispered as a man stepped out of the shadows
carrying a limp body. Looking around, he saw us, a look of disgust and surprise
crossing his familiar face. I recognized him, the moon shone too brightly, the
stars too fiery, and for a moment we stared at each other exchanging
thoughts in our glances.
I know you.
I know you too.
You live a block away from me.
We went to the same bus stop, the same schools every morning.
But I don’t know know you...
We never talked.
But I do know you killed her.
She cheated me.
You're going to hell for this.
No, my friend, you are going to hell...
With that he drew
his gun…
“Run!” Sandra screamed as we scrambled up as if we could outrun a
bullet.
…and
shot. Three fires, one for the sky, one for me, one for her. The sound vibrated
through the air, resounding through the clouds, rebounding among the trees,
shaking our world flipping it upside down and up again. The bullet whizzed
by, skimming my arm, piercing my girlfriend in the flesh. She screamed out of
sheer terror and whimpered out of pain. She fell in my arms, a mess of skin and
hair.
"No!" I yelled looking up it my new found enemy who had
already turned and ran out of sight. The wind picked up, throwing my voice back
into my face. "No.." I said again, clutching onto her bloodied shirt.
There was a feeling of surrealness, I saw a flash of events before my eyes...
that day when we found this sacred place, the time when we built the snowmen
and drew I love you's in the snow.. that moment when I proposed to her. It all
seemed like a bad dream I was yearning to wake up from.
“Are you ok?” She mumbled, pain canceling her
concern.
____“I
have to go call the ambulance..." I said, wondering what the
neighbors would think if I pounded on their door, a mad man at their steps.
"No, don't leave me."
"I won't, you are coming with me."
I lifted her up, my muscles surprisingly weak, sagging under my rubber
legs. My heart lurched to see her painful expression as she moaned.
"Please... it hurts, don't move me, don't leave... no ambulance...
look at me... I am shot. If I am to die, I want to die here.. with you."
She clutched at her wound, in her torso, below her breast and started sobbing.
"Everything is ok" I lied, stroking her hair. I was worn out,
I felt my soul dying, being drained of energy.
"I don't want it to be this way, but this is the last time I would
be able to say this.. but you are my one and true love, I can't live without
you. we are a whole and when I leave we will be halves again. And this
place... this place is sacred. Someday, time will stop, and me and you would be
together forever."
I nodded, not entirely understanding her.
"How are you feeling?"
"Weak… " Then silence. I was unmoving, afraid of hurting her,
but I knew the end was near. "I see light." She whispered. "Such
beautiful sounds." she opened her eyes, smiling "I think I saw
heaven. I am going. Know that life exists after death, I will be your
proof... Will you remember me?" she whispered
"Always." I managed as her body shuddered once, her breath leaving
forever. I held her close, staying by her dying body, a feeling of strange
dejavu washing over me. I have relived these scenes countless times, like a bad
tape that would never stop. I waited for the rain to come.. I remembered they
were supposed to drench the two of us covering up the moon and the stars in its
misery, but the clouds never formed, the heavens getting brighter and brighter.
I stared at the sky, fascinated by this turn of events. I saw, as the sky
opened up, a bright crevasse that radiated light so soft and comforting that I
longed to touch it, to be in it. I wrapped my arms around my love tighter, but
yet there she was, standing on the very spot where the light hit the ground.
She wore the same shirt and pants, her hair arranged in the same ponytail but
something was different, she possessed an alluring prettiness that made me awe with
wonder.
"What... is going on?" I stood up as she reached out her hand.
"I have waited for so long, I miss you so much... please come with
me.." Her voice echoed through the forest and over the hill. Her being was
illuminated in light so comforting I couldn’t resist. I grabbed her hand, there
was a flash of energy, and a feeling of being turned inside out before I woke
up, twisted in my bed sheets, sweat pouring down my forehead.
It was a dream… a nightmare, but unlike most dreams
this one was real. It had happened so long ago but yet it was as fresh as
yesterday. Lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, I sighed. When will I ever
forget? I thought, feeling the emotions all over again. I looked over at my
night table, illuminated by the street light and stared at the picture of me
and her happily posing for the camera before my eyes turned blurry once more.
We had been so young then... only 25 years old and ready to make a life
together. It has been 30 years since that fateful night. For the most part, I
have forgotten, living on a normal life, but then there were these days, these
dreams that visited me sometimes weeks on a row. But tonight was different. I
saw her spirit beckon to me, smiling, embracing me, and me embracing her. I
knew that it meant, death was at my door, it was time to see her, and this time
it would be together forever.
Parts I omitted:
"Always." I managed as her body shuddered once, her breath leaving
forever. The tears came then, the welling up of emotions until finally, the
burst of pain. I bawled, a grown man reduced to little boy status. Good cry,
what an oxymoron. I held her close, staying by her dying body, a feeling of
strange delirium washing over me. This is all a dream. I looked over at
the bench. Two figures materialized out if the air, both sitting on the
bench. I could see him presenting her with the small tub of ice cream, their
reward for trekking this far. The ice cream, Rocky Fudge was her favorite, and
stuck in the top, was a gold ring, adorned with diamonds. The sparkling
ornament was striking against the dark dessert. Tears filled the girls eyes as
he bent down on one knee and slipped the band on her finger. Tears filled
my eyes as I shook the two out of my mind.
I
looked at Sandra, the moon casting shadows on her face. The dark patch on her
dress had finally stopped swelling. “This is all a dream… all a dream!” I
cackled a crazy laugh as I shook Sandra. “Wake up, it’s not real!” But she lied
there, unmoving, eyes closed.
They were in the park, tredging across the arctic scenery to get the
car when she scooped out a ball of snow before lunging it at her boyfriend. He
chased after her, his brow wet from her throw. He finally caught her, in mid
air, the two rolling in the ice. I was there, invisible, standing beside them,
jelous in their innocence. Don’t you know what will happen?? I screamed at
them, my thoughts echoing through the snowy drifts, my day dream dissolving to
reality as I found myself by Sandra’s body.
