April, 2001!
April, 2001
Note:
English is written top to bottom, so you will have to scroll down to read the latest stuff! I cannot get used to adding stuff to the ‘top’, it’s just not *right* !! Also, you may need to hit your ‘reload/refresh’ button if you have visited this page before! *g*
Saturday, April 28th
Today I joined Weight Watchers (again!). The meeting was at 9:00 am. Beany picked me up afterwards and we drove to the city for our first therapy appointment. Would have been good except that I got the weeks mixed up and our first session is next week! *g* So… we went to Newtown and had ‘lunch’, even though I had eaten no breakfast. By then I was starving, so I ordered a ‘big’ breakfast (bacon, eggs, hash brown, mushrooms, baked beans, tomato, two thick slices of toast). I decided to start my WW tomorrow. After that, we went to the Infinity bookshop and bought books on Borderline Personality Disorder (for Beany) and Co-dependency (for me). I also got one on ‘procrastination’. *g* On the way home we bought more junk food- twisties, flavoured milk, a custard tart. I finished off the Cadbury Dairy milk family block that I had bought a few days ago. Fantastic start to my new diet, huh? *g* TOMORROW is ANOTHER DAY!
Sunday, April 29th
Last day of holidays. I have been so, soooo bad these holidays with my schoolwork. I have not finished my portfolios from last term, and now it is too late- I will have to do them during term time, as well as all the usual planning stuff and getting next terms portfolios done. I keep telling myself that I have been sick (and still am!), and *that’s* why I haven’t done it, but really, that’s just an excuse. I should have forced myself to do it.
WW report. All this week I have had some kind of tummy bug… the big ‘D’, to be exact. And I haven’t exactly been careful with what I am eating. I have just kinda been hoping it will go away! After yesterdays effort, I was soooo soooo sick!! (Serve yourself right, I hear you say!). So… today I am on black tea and toast. I might even have to go to the doctors if it doesn’t stop!
Beany has gone into the city to meet a woman who she has been chatting with online. I think this is a good thing. For one, it gives me the day to myself! *g* Not that I have a problem with that, but it’s just nice sometimes to hang out by myself. Secondly, it helps her (and ultimately us) to establish her own friends and friendships outside of our relationship. She did admit that she would NOT cope at all if the situation were reversed and it was me going off to meet someone! But that’s part of her Borderline condition (I think) and something we can deal with in therapy.
It’s weird that 4 weeks ago, I left the relationship, spent 2 weeks at mum’s and was determined to sell the house/ get out, and now I am determined to stay together and ‘make’ it work. We have come up with our ‘guidelines’ and are going to therapy (next week! *g*). The ‘big’ things that caused problems, (ie: Beany’s rage/ anger/ aggression), have stopped. I do not know if this is a permanent thing or not. I hope so! Only time will tell that. We have separated our finances (harder for me, because I earn less, but I can’t have it both ways!) and I still have a separate ‘room’ in the lounge room. Looks crazy, but I am not comfortable moving back into ‘our’ bedroom yet! One day, hopefully not to far away, I will move back in.
I have my new contact lenses in today. (The 4th trial pair I have had!). I am sure he said I needed a -.50 in my right eye and a -.75 in my left, but when I picked them up, I have a -.50 and a -.1. So does this mean he ordered the wrong ones? He changed his mind and ordered me a -.1 instead of -.75? Or they are someone else’s trial lenses? *g* Oh well. I am wearing them anyway! They seem OK, so far!
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