He he he we're all so smegging DUMB! Well it's true. There wouldn't be so much here if it wasn't. Still, I can't be condescending myself.....hey, everybody's blonde roots show through sometimes.
NEWS JUST IN: The Fazekas award has been cancelled due to my own
equalling of Flop's record.....
Me: You need to Spice up your life.
Kristy: My life is spicy enough thank you!
Kristy: I can't find my top.....
Kristy: I usually satisfy myself.
Kristy: Look at me! I'm big jug girl!
Kristy: Mr Simpson, we don't like your "r's".
Mr Simpson: You don't like my WHAT? Oh...I thought you said...never mind.
Kristy: These chemicals are making me thirsty.
Scarlett: Oh, look everyone! As the heat rises, so does the temperature!
Sarah: Ali, do you have more teeth than I do?
Year 7: No, my dad never gets fat....
Year 7: Errr, how do you pull your finger off?
Namita: What's that stuff called? Hopscotch ice-cream?
Wendy: Can I burn your flesh?
Wendy: Hello! Milk is made from porridge!
Jackie: I nearly swallowed the dick!
Jackie: I want a fat one too.
Jackie: Oh my god! That rat is so fat!
Lauren: Jade's got a temperature- she's really really hot!
Rhona: I wasn't trying to kill you! It's just that I was trying to kill you!
Rhona: I had a REALLY big asshole.....
Katie:(talking about the sofa, we hope) I'm sitting on a big fat crack, and it's
half-open.
Me: She's been at the Cross since 2 am.
Floppy: I feel like I have.
Flpppy: Phallic objects! Just think phallic objects every time she enters a room!
Floppy: Schizophrenic has schiz.....yes, yes it does.
Floppy: But I thought you were supposed to wash your hair with shampoo!?!
Floppy: Log me up, scottie.
Floppy:(to Denise) Can you NOT rub yourself against me?
Floppy: I WANT to reproduce!
Floppy: And Bell couldn't get it down!
Floppy: Will, I can't get it up, can you put it away?
Floppy: And that will speed up her toilet business, will it?
Floppy: You have wierd bowels, man.
Floppy: I have an urge to stick something up your nose. Let me stick it up
your nose!
Floppy: What sort of head can I give him?
Floppy: Why don't you just stick your hand up my arse and make me a puppet?
Floppy: I don't need to go down, I'm already here.
Floppy: Can you wank me one?
Floppy: Where's my wanker? I want my wanker!
Lauren: Well you can have your wanker as soon as I can do it!
Mimi: Can I have your definition for gay sex laws? Oh, woops, I mean
Gay-Lussac's law?
Camilla: I'm sick of always eating phallic objects, it's so tiresome.
Me: I've lost my breats! I've lost my breats!
Jade: What?! Again?!
Me: Yeah you know I have a fascination with your breasts Kristy.
Me: Don't stick your head up my nose! It wouldn't fit for a start!
Me: I don't even want to KNOW about people in our year having sex! That's
just not sanitary!,
Me: Mrs Stanbury, can I borrow a compass?
Mrs S: You mean a pair of compasses Nicole.
Me: No, I only want one.
Me: Yeah, well I like to smell as bad as I possibly can.
Me: WILL you stop bashing into me? I am NOT a bumper car!
Mrs Holzheimer: Nicole, I want to see your work. What exactly are you
doing at the moment?
Me:(Decorating Flop's diary) At the moment? Well...nothing actually.....
Me: No, really! I love drinking splinters!
Me: Romeo, thou art a vanilla.
Me: Ha! I have the keys to Stead's house! Ha! No, wait, I don't know where
he lives.....
Me: That smells really cool, but it's making me feel funny.
Me: Ha ha, ow, ha ha ha, ow, it hurts to laugh but I don't want to stop, ow.....
Me: You know how there are square roots, well are there round roots as well?
Yes? when do we use them?
Me: Oh, great, now I have heat-transient breasts.
Me: Cos yeah you know, I have testicles as well
Jana: Ad Altiora? It's a-b-b-a-t-o-i-r.
Denise: I'm so happy, my toes are dry!
Jade: What happens when you get a triangle with 4 sides?
Jade: I don't have a reciprocal button.
flop: Have you seen the dead rat?
pippa: Mm, that's what's in my sandwich.
Will: I'd like a big blow-up one.
Colin: But where would you put it?
McCouat: If I could wear a dress, I would.
(Thanks to Peake's diary for these)
Smack: I'm only coming if that bulge in your pants is what I think it is.
Smack: This way, anyone can go in the middle of the sandwich.
That seems to be my collection for the present, any which could be useful in submission, please mail them...and don't forget that if you do happen to say something stupid it will end up in my hands eventually.
Me: You need to Spice up your life. Kristy: My life is spicy enough thank you! Kristy: I can't find my top..... Kristy: I usually satisfy myself. Kristy: Look at me! I'm big jug girl! Kristy: Mr Simpson, we don't like your "r's". Mr Simpson: You don't like my WHAT? Oh...I thought you said...never mind. Kristy: These chemicals are making me thirsty. Scarlett: Oh, look everyone! As the heat rises, so does the temperature! Sarah: Ali, do you have more teeth than I do? Year 7: No, my dad never gets fat.... Year 7: Errr, how do you pull your finger off? Namita: What's that stuff called? Hopscotch ice-cream? Wendy: Can I burn your flesh? Wendy: Hello! Milk is made from porridge! Jackie: I nearly swallowed the dick! Jackie: I want a fat one too. Jackie: Oh my god! That rat is so fat! Lauren: Jade's got a temperature- she's really really hot! Rhona: I wasn't trying to kill you! It's just that I was trying to kill you! Rhona: I had a REALLY big asshole..... Katie:(talking about the sofa, we hope) I'm sitting on a big fat crack, and it's half-open. Me: She's been at the Cross since 2 am. Floppy: I feel like I have. Flpppy: Phallic objects! Just think phallic objects every time she enters a room! Floppy: Schizophrenic has schiz.....yes, yes it does. Floppy: But I thought you were supposed to wash your hair with shampoo!?! Floppy: Log me up, scottie. Floppy:(to Denise) Can you NOT rub yourself against me? Floppy: I WANT to reproduce! Floppy: And Bell couldn't get it down! Floppy: Will, I can't get it up, can you put it away? Floppy: And that will speed up her toilet business, will it? Floppy: You have wierd bowels, man. Floppy: I have an urge to stick something up your nose. Let me stick it up your nose! Floppy: What sort of head can I give him? Floppy: Why don't you just stick your hand up my arse and make me a puppet? Floppy: I don't need to go down, I'm already here. Floppy: Can you wank me one? Floppy: Where's my wanker? I want my wanker! Lauren: Well you can have your wanker as soon as I can do it! Mimi: Can I have your definition for gay sex laws? Oh, woops, I mean Gay-Lussac's law? Camilla: I'm sick of always eating phallic objects, it's so tiresome. Me: I've lost my breats! I've lost my breats! Jade: What?! Again?! Me: Yeah you know I have a fascination with your breasts Kristy. Me: Don't stick your head up my nose! It wouldn't fit for a start! Me: I don't even want to KNOW about people in our year having sex! That's just not sanitary!, Me: Mrs Stanbury, can I borrow a compass? Mrs S: You mean a pair of compasses Nicole. Me: No, I only want one. Me: Yeah, well I like to smell as bad as I possibly can. Me: WILL you stop bashing into me? I am NOT a bumper car! Mrs Holzheimer: Nicole, I want to see your work. What exactly are you doing at the moment? Me:(Decorating Flop's diary) At the moment? Well...nothing actually..... Me: No, really! I love drinking splinters! Me: Romeo, thou art a vanilla. Me: Ha! I have the keys to Stead's house! Ha! No, wait, I don't know where he lives..... Me: That smells really cool, but it's making me feel funny. Me: Ha ha, ow, ha ha ha, ow, it hurts to laugh but I don't want to stop, ow..... Me: You know how there are square roots, well are there round roots as well? Yes? when do we use them? Me: Oh, great, now I have heat-transient breasts. Me: Cos yeah you know, I have testicles as well Jana: Ad Altiora? It's a-b-b-a-t-o-i-r. Denise: I'm so happy, my toes are dry! Jade: What happens when you get a triangle with 4 sides? Jade: I don't have a reciprocal button. flop: Have you seen the dead rat? pippa: Mm, that's what's in my sandwich. Will: I'd like a big blow-up one. Colin: But where would you put it? McCouat: If I could wear a dress, I would. (Thanks to Peake's diary for these) Smack: I'm only coming if that bulge in your pants is what I think it is. Smack: This way, anyone can go in the middle of the sandwich.