FREE SOULS VALENTINE

12th Feb 2001

Dear Free Souls,

"It’s only Words and words are all I have to take your heart away"

Out of the blue, someday, sometime, somewhere, we find ourselves caught in a trap of Emotional mood swings. With the calm of the Earthquake, its now time to heal, pray and spread love.  If we let our Emotions swirl,  life really sucks and instead of creating a breeze of happiness all around, we dive deep into the sea of stress and depressive traumas living in oblivion. This is when we ought to realize the bare truth, the realities and be in total ‘In charge’ of our Emotional Switchboard. Hope brings sunshine into the shadows of our life followed by faith and love but the control board ‘Emotion’ requires balanced computerized system programming of Thoughts and Actions. It is we who create thoughts, thoughts create intentions, and intentions create desire and then are the action, which is powered by ‘Reality’. This is when our mind management needs to shrug off the black seeds of anger, jealousy, hatred, possessiveness, dominance from the heart and possess white flowers of peace, love, compassion, service, sincerity, sensitivity and awareness which makes us ‘better people’. Then, there is peace.

Keep the hopes, feel the love, strive for peace, Keep the faith.

-Editor, Freesouls

EMOTIONAL DATABANK

It’s Valentine and many a human mind fluttered wings of sheer joy to announce their love pumping up their adrenaline veins. The brain is a ‘Thought Factory’ which produces thoughts and it requires good operational methods to keep it functioning smooth. Language facilitates thoughts whether its in speech, writing or thoughts. Emotions reflect our senses and are an interaction of mental faculties of the brain. Emotions involve around three mysteries – arousal, expression and experience. A person is on the height of emotions based on the factors of its day to day mental and physical being. The feelings stir into the soul of each individual whose conscious mind picks up the waves and the mind reacts depending entirely on the thinking and memory processes. Emotions as per researchers vary from acceptance, anger, anticipation, disgust, fear, joy, sadness and surprise. However, its virtually limitless to count emotions as a pounding heart or sweaty palms can signify any number of emotions from puppy love to fear of flying. Culture varies and has an influence impact but the feelings of emotion remain same anywhere. Sometimes, too much emotion or too little emotion is a sign of mental disturbances. It so happens that during a roller coaster ride, some people laugh and than cry for the next moment which shows a sign of instability have affect. Signs of anxiety, fear, insecurity is emotional outbursts seen in elderly people, which is totally controlled by the thinking process of the brain. Thoughts produce action and so, change involved in thinking and learning take relatively huge amounts of energy too. Emotional being of a person depends on how he thinks. Hearing, seeing, speaking and thinking is the main ingredients that make Emotion. Memories too play its role.

According to Gita ‘Action of a person is a good or a bad deed which is stored and determines the events in one’s future lives. One is born time and time again to face the consequences of one’s actions in previous life.’ Karma of a person influences his lifestyle and all is required of a person is to keep the vigil check of the nine gates which means the nine sense organs so as to perform true karma and the emotional well being of a person can make him perform the actions in the right direction. In absence of this, it is a mental Depression with higher rate in emotional drawback and difficult coping to control anger, fear, anxiety, hatred, hopelessness and so on. Emotional flings rules over the life if work patterns too are not channeled in a systematic way. Disorganization at all levels adds to further loops and all way through this is ‘Thought Factory’.

Emotional views…..

When we hate our enemies, we give them power over us. Power over our sleep, appetites and our happiness. They would dance with joy if they knew how much they were worrying us. Our hate is not hurting them at all but it is turning our own days and nights into hellish turmoil"  -Dale Carnegie from How to Stop worrying and start living

Loneliness is most acutely felt with other people, for with others, even a lover sometimes, we suffer from our differences – of taste, temperament, mood. With other human beings, vision becomes double vision. We are busy wondering what does my companion see or think of this? And what do I think of it? Alone, we cannot afford to be wholly whatever we are, and to feel whatever we feel absolutely. That is great luxury.

-May Sarton from The New York Times

THE VALENTINE STORY

In the city of Rome there once lived an emperor named Claudius known as Claudius the Cruel. Near his palace was a beautiful temple where served the priest Valentine. The Romans loved him dearly and assembled into the temple to hear his words. Before the fire that always burned on the altar they knelt to ask his blessing. Rich and poor, wise and ignorant, old and young, noble and common people they all flocked to Valentine.

In the Roman empire wars broke out. Claudius summoned the citizens forth to battle and year after year the fighting continued. Many of the Romans were unwilling to go. The married men did not want to leave their families. The younger men did not wish to leave their sweethearts. The emperor was angry when soldiers were too few. He ordered that no marriages should be celebrated and that all engagements must be broken off immediately.

Many a young Roman went off to the wars in sorrow, leaving his love. Many a Roman maiden died of grief as a result of this decree. Now the good priest Valentine heard of the emperor's command and was very sad. When a young couple came to the temple, he secretly united them in marriage in front of the sacred altar. Another pair sought his aid and in secret he wedded them. Others came and quietly were married. Valentine was the friend of lovers in every district of Rome. But, such secrets could not be kept for long. At last word of Valentine's acts reached the palace and Claudius the Cruel was angry. He summoned his soldiers and bade them cast Valentine  into a dungeon! Valentine was dragged from the temple, dragged away from the altar where a young maiden and a Roman youth stood, ready to wed. Off to prison the soldiers took him.

All of Valentine's friends as well as their friends, interceded with Claudius in vane. In a dungeon Valentine languished and died. His devoted friends buried him in the church of St. Praxedes. When you go to Rome you can see the very place. It was the year 270, on the fourteenth of February. History also  says that a  young French Duke of Orleans, captured at the battle of Agincourt, was kept a prisoner in the Tower of London for many years. To his wife he wrote poem after poem, real valentines. About sixty of them remain. These can be seen among the royal papers in the British Museum.

Another story says that Valentine was one of the early Christians in those far-away days when that meant danger and death. For helping some Christian martyrs he was seized, dragged before the prefect of Rome and cast into jail. There he cured the keeper's daughter of blindness. When the cruel emperor learned of this miracle he gave orders that Valentine should be beheaded. The morning of the execution, he is said to have sent the keeper's daughter a farewell message signed, "From your Valentine."

Long years before 270, when Rome was first founded it was surrounded by a wilderness. Great packs of wolves roamed over the countryside. Among their many gods the Romans had one named Lupercus who watched over the shepherds and their flocks. In his honor they held a great feast in February of each year and called it the Lupercalia. The Lupercalia festival was an echo of the days when Rome consisted of a group of shepherd folk that lived on a hill now know as Palantine. On the calendar used back in those days, February came later than it does today, so Lupercalia was a spring festival. Some believe the festival honored Faunus, who like the Greek Pan, was a god of herds and crops, But the origin of Lupercalia is so ancient that even scholars of the last century before Christ were never sure. There is no question about its importance. Records show, for instance, that Mark Antony, an important Roman, was master of the Luperci College of Priests. He chose the Lupercalia festival of the year 44 B.C. as the proper time for offering the crown to Julius Caesar. Each year, on February 15, the Luperci priests gathered on the Palantine at the cave of Lupercal. Here, according to legend, Romulus and Remus, founders of Rome, had been nursed by a mother wolf. In Latin, the word lupus is the word for wolf.

Some of the rituals involved youths of noble birth to run through the streets with goatskin thongs. Young women would crowd the street in the hope of lashing the sacred thongs as it was believed to make them better able to bear children. The goatskin thongs were known as the februa and the lashing the februatio, both coming from a Latin word meaning to purify. The name of the month February come from this meaning.

Long after Rome became a walled city and the seat of a powerful empire, the Lupercalia lived on. When Roman armies invaded what is now France and Britain in the first century before Christ, they took the Lupercalia customs there. One of these is believed to be a lottery where the names of Roman maidens were placed in a box and drawn out by the young men. The girl whose name he drew each man accepted as his love - for a year or longer. After Christianity was firmly established the priests wanted the people to forget the old heathen gods. But they did not wish to do away with all their feasts and sports. So they kept the Lupercalia and called it Valentine's day.

During the medieval days of chivalry, the names of English maidens and bachelors were put into the box and drawn out in pairs. Each couple exchanged gifts. The girl became the man's valentine for that year. On his sleeve he wore her name and it was his bounded duty to attend and protect her. This old, old custom of drawing names on the fourteenth of February was considered a good omen for love. It often foretold a wedding. For since the beginning of things this has been lovers' day, a time for loving, for giving and receiving love tokens. Flowers as valentines appear nearly two hundred years later. A daughter of Henry IV of France gave a party in honor of St. Valentine. Each lady received a beautiful bouquet of flowers from the man chosen as her valentine.

So, from Italy and France and England has come the pretty custom of sending our friends loving messages on this day. With flowers, with heart-shaped candies, with lacy valentines whose frills and furbelows hide the initials of the sender we honor the good priest who disobeyed Claudius the Cruel.

IS THIS LOVE?

What happens when you fall in love? When the Cupid strikes, love bytes! Its lovebugs or loveblues or just an affair of the heart! Whatever be it, it’s the reason to live, a language spoken in comfortable silences. It enters gently into your heart unannounced and changes lives forever! Love is timeless. It’s the memory of yesterday, the happiness of today and the promise of tomorrow. It brings new dimensions in life that makes everything seem worthwhile. And then, when there is hope, there is faith, when there is faith, there is love and when there is love, Miracles happen!

Some people crave for chocolates and these symbolise love. Researchers indicates of a biochemical basis for the emotional pain that can occur when a love affair ends or when it begins, the brain apparently releases a chemical substance called phenylethylamine which acts like the prescription drug to increase mental alertness and physical energy. If the feelings of love are felt, the sudden loss of phenylethylamine and this content is high in chocolates. Love is filled with passion, intimacy and commitment. Passion fades away but intimacy and commitment are the two sides of a coin. Love peps up or poops out, depends on the emotions of the heart. Free souls dive into eight ways the Sternberg phycological way to find what is Love!

Non Love – None of the components, passion, intimacy or commitment is there. This is when we interact with people but don’t feel either of any.

Liking – When there is intimacy but commitment is lacked. Passion has no place whatsoever. This happens with close friends. It than just remains liking.

Infatuation – This is a kind of attraction where passion is high but there is no intimacy or love or commitment. It is due to beauty or characteristics.

Empty Love – Some people are only committed. They stick together for sake of something and there is no intimacy, no love, no passion nor secrets to share.

Romantic Love – In new affair, this is just the right thing out. Its bubbling emotions within and commitment follows later if the love don’t die away soon.

Compassionate Love – Some people have commitment and intimacy and live together for years without touch but care, share, enjoy. The right way to live.

Fatuous Love – There is no intimacy and lack the understanding of knowing each other. They feel they don’t like each other but stay yet together.

Consummate Love – Love which gives a reason to live. The type of love, all hope and desire for with an emotional inner feeling. It possess passion, intimacy and commitment! Just like ‘Made for each other’

V DAY MESSAGES

Don’t know what to say this Valentine Day? Choose a Valentine card from the nearest shop or log into Free souls website www.sambhaav.com/freesouls.htm to select our Cool V Day Card picks and send it along with our ‘Chosen messages’. You can frame your own too!

The whachiest message: Under the chairperson of gods of Love, Mr. Eros and Ms Venus, you are found guilty of falling in love and making an offence to damage the heart. Under section 240, theft and 420, stealing and crushing it, you are sentenced to rigorous imprisonment in cardiac custody for a term of billions of years alongwith a hug a day or a dash of added love. You will be arrested on 14^th February and expect full cooperation.

The most original message: Lifetime guarantee on the genuine Love, spiced with flavours of faith and understanding. Manufactured by me at the coolest price of Trust. Hurry! Offer closes on V-Day. (Only one piece available) Contact : (Dial number)

Spicy message: My love is like apple pie or strawberry, Don’t turn it to Tandoori chicken fry! You are like candy, chocolaty sweetheart, Don’t be a chilly dry! You are like mushrooms, Don’t be like Onion and make me Cry!

Flattery message: You touch my heart like sunshine on a cold winter day. Your voice is like summer breeze that blows the clouds away. I want to be with you, every minute, every hour, every day!

MESSAGES

GODS & GODDESSES OF LUV

Since long back, Gods & Goddesses are symbols of love. Venus, the Roman goddess of love and beauty, but originally a vegetation goddess and patroness of gardens and vineyards. Later, under Greek influence, she was resembled to Aphrodite and became popular. Venus was said to be the daughter of jupiter and some of her lovers include Mars and vulcan. .Caesar introduced the cult of Venus genetrix the goddess of motherhood and marriage and built a temple for her in 46 BC. The oldest temple dates back to 293 BC

Cupid is the Roman god of love and the son of Venus. He is a small, winged boy, carrying bow and arrows. The arrows, once striking the heart, makes the victim fall in love. Cupid is also portrayed as a young man with his beloved Psyche, with Venus or with a small group of winged infants known as Amoretti or Amorini. Some traditions say that he was born from a silver egg. Venus was envious of Psyche, the third daughter of a King who did not find a match for her because she was very beautiful even than the Gods. Venus sent Cupid out of her ego to let down Psyche, so the myth says. Cupid is Greek equivalent to eros. The name is derived from the Latin cupido, "desire".

Aphrodite-Greek - goddess of luv

Cupid-Roman god of luv

Eros-Greek god of luv

Eros - goddess of luv and fertility

Ishtar-Babylon goddess of luv and fertility

Isis - Egyptian goddess

Venus - Roman goddess of luv

SIGNIFICANT FLOWERS

Flowers spell their fragrance bringing in hope, joy or sorrows! From age old time, flowers are gifted on all occassions. While choosing flowers, normally people see the beauty or the cost but are ignorant of its resemblance to hope, joy, love, hate, anger, jealousy etc.

* Almond Blossom - symbol of hope, sweetness, delicacy.

* Anenome - symbol of withered hopes, a dying love.

* Forget-me-not - symbol of true love

* Lily - symbol of purity (white), gaiety or falsehood (yellow).

* Periwinkle - symbol of early friendship (blue), happy memories (white).

* Poppy As a symbol of fantastic extravagance (scarlet), consolation (red). Placing a petal in the palm of the hand and hitting it with a fist should produce a popping sound means that love is faithful

* Rose - symbol of love, pure and lovely (red rose buds), jealousy (yellow). Love fragrance flowers

* Snowdrop - symbol of hope, consolation. The flower is thought mythologically to have been a snowflake which was transformed to comfort Adam and Eve after they had been expelled from the Garden of Eden.

Sunflower - symbol of the sun, and also haughtiness.

Tulip - symbol of powerful love being declared (red), hopeless love (yellow). The heart burning symbolically like a flame.

BIRDS MYTH

Schooling is fun time when you spot a shadow of an eagle on the playground and run to place your foot on it with hopes to find treasure or see the special ‘Koels’ singing alone or together and start rhying on them " One for sorrow, two for joy, three for letter, four for boy, five for silver, six for gold, seven for secrets never to be told". Birds have a special influence on valentine day and if seen by a woman, she is sure to marry the person it symbolises.

Blackbird - Clergyman or priest, spiritual

Robin Redbreast - Sailor, nautical

Goldfinch (any yellow bird) - A rich man

Sparrow - Farmer, agricultural, of the country

Bluebird - A happy man

Crossbill - An argumentative man

Dove - A good man

Woodpecker - No husband

------------------

LOVE SYMBOLS

"Oft have I heard both youth and virgin say
Birds choose their mates, and couples too, this day;
But by their flight I never can divine,
When I shall couple with my Valentine."
- Herrick

Ribbons, Laces and Frills

Ribbons and frills have been associated with romance since the days of knighthood when a knight rode into battle with a ribbon or scarf given him by his lady fair. The dictionary states that the word "Lace" comes from a Latin word meaning to "snare" or "noose". Hundred years ago, woman dropped her laced handkerchief in hopes that a man picked it up and gave it to her. Thus, attracting his attention to encourage romance. Chocolate boxes and valentine cards are hence decorated with lace.

Heart

Emotional feelings arise from the heart. A person feels love, hate, happiness, anger, jealousy or fear and it’s the chemistry that clicks such emotions. Love is connected with the heart and is a symbol of Valentine because it is ‘Love that’s makes the world go round’ or for some ‘Love is in the air’ – Love is an affair of the heart.

Cupid

Cupid was one of the gods of mytholog, son of Venus. In Latin, the word Cupid means "desire." Cupid is typically represented as a chubby, naked, winged boy or youth with a mischievous smile. He possessed a bow with a quiver of arrows by which he transfixed the hearts of youths an and maidens.Cherubs are descendants of Cupid. They are depicted as lovable little winged creatures without arrows and quivers. Cherubs were typically not mischievous like Cupid. Venus sent cupid to Psyche, the beautiful daughter of a king.

The Rose

If you rearrange the letters of the word rose you get Eros, the god of Love. The rose, which is undoubtedly the most popular flower in the world, speaks of love and has been the choice of lovers in every century.

Hands

A lady's hands was a favorite decoration that depicted "femininity." Its beauty was enhanced by adding a frilly cuff and a jeweled ring on the third finger. Clasped hands represent those of Queen Victoria and Prince Albert and were symbols of the friendship between their countries of Germany and England. Years ago, when a man proposed marriage to a woman, he ‘asked for her hand’ – The hand became a symbol of marriage and love. So, followed the glove.

Turtle Doves and Love Birds

It was thought that birds chose their mate for the year on February 14. Doves and pigeons mate for life and therefore were used as a symbol of "fidelity." Doves were the favourite birds of Venus and they hold same mates lifetime. They have loyalty, love and peace. Lovebirds are the colorful parrots with red bills found usually in Africa. They sit closely together in pairs and hence, called Love Birds

Love Knots

It is a symbol of endless love. A windled and interlaced loops with no beginning or end. Love knots are made with ribbon or fancy lace and even drawn on cards or piece of paper and passed on to the love with a message often written on it.

Puzzik-circa 1840. A puzzik is a quaint sort of homemade Valentine which was a sort of puzzle that the receiver had to solve. Not only did she have to decipher the message but also to figure how to refold the paper once it was opened. The order of the verses was usually numbered, and the recipient had to twist the folds to determine what was being said.

Daguerreotype-popular from 1840 to the Civil War. An old-time tintype was found in the center of a card surrounded by an ornamented wreath. Another type was a "Mirror Valentine" which had a small mirror placed in the center to reflect the happy face of the receiver.

Rebus. Although it had many forms, a rebus usually was a romantic verse written in ink with certain words omitted and illustrated with a picture. Meant to be a riddle, they were not always easy to decipher.

MYTHS & FACTS

* In Wales wooden love spoons were carved and given as gifts on February 14th. Hearts, keys and keyholes were favorite decorations on the spoons. The decoration meant, "You unlock my heart!"

* In the Middle Ages, young men and women drew names from a bowl to see who their valentines would be. They would wear these names on their sleeves for one week. To wear your heart on your sleeve now means that it is easy for other people to know how you are feeling.

* Many people give candy to their sweethearts on Valentine's Day. Candy is sweet and so are sweethearts. In North America and Europe, chocolates are sold in fancy boxes shaped like hearts. Some boxes have flowers and ribbons on them.

* A belief says that in Rome, around 40 A.D., people dressed in best clothes gathered in an open ground and men whipped women so that they became fertile.

* Some people used to believe that if you cut an apple in half and count how many seeds are inside, you will also know how many children you will have.

* In Britain and Italy, woman wake up early in the morning on Valentine day. They stand by the window and the first man they spot passing by, he would be her mate or his look alike.

LOVE BYTES

Have you experienced Love Bytes.....Out of the Blue met someone online or offline & fallen in love, your crazy, heavenly or embarassing experiences.....Or Love bugs, heart breaks, surprising.....tales of 'Love is all around' or 'Love is in the air! Share your experiences with Free Souls friends online @ www.angelfire.com/me/binaal (Valentine site). We won’t disclose your identity if you don’t want us to! Send your entries to Sambhaav Free Souls, Nr. Judges Bunglow, Bodakdev, Satellite, Ahmedabad 380 015. Website: http://www.sambhaav.com / http://members.tripod.com/holy_98  / www.kidsfreesouls.com

E-Mail us : pearl@ad1.vsnl.net.in/ freesouls98@hotmail.com

REAL STUFF

INGREDIENTS FOR SUCCESSFUL RELATIONS

Friendship

Respect

Communication

Trust

Honesty

Love

Understanding

Intimacy

Commitment

Togetherness