WELCOME TO MY POETRY PAGE

All these short phrases, scribbles of my mind,

Infected onto paper, are the paragraphs of my heart...

The short stories of my soul...

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I hold an image of you.....

a wish, a part of my soul,

still and ready to pounce.....

like a cat.....

I leap into sleep......

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I have conversations -

with your gifts...

and from there......

we mostly talk about you...

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Your gifts surround me....

Dancing around in circles,

around your fire

We tell stories............

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I ink myself into existence.......

and then I get afraid.......

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I awake in the wind of your maker,

I arise in the split image moments

reflected in the eyes of your face....

I am but just a dream........

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Like liquid moments,

I flow and drip

Into a million drops...

I am dispersed...

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In reality I bark at the moon,

Within me I am howling....

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If these pages turn to leaves,

green and reflected by the sun...

Am I photosynthesis...?

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You bring me,

forbidden thoughts and unspoken words.

In Memories and moments...

I melt again ….

and again you walk into my life

Like a Sunday afternoon festival...

You then...

Capture me.

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There is a difference between what and who

we are,

there is a difference between what you can do

and who you are.

If people base their truth on what you are, they only

limit themselves, and get the short end of the deal

It is when they see you for who you are......

The possibilities are endless.....

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My want…

My longing…

Echo into the world,

Like screaming

In Cathedrals…

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At this moment I want to wrap myself in barbwire,

and look at the world through blades........

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Silence captures me once again and quietly folds it's arms around me, watching my thoughts bounce and fall, there is only one of everything, a door opens and shuts….I sink and feel myself swim and drown into the moment, feeling it's beauty in the late afternoon sun, painting my face in a glow, the disk of my face consuming itself in orange.

I see a tree, not a tree, but the dead tree, that will never exist, split by the wind brown and worn by the sun, standing at the edge of this circle…..My eyes close and language disappears….I look out at you and you are this late autumn circle. Random as trees and sentences, entering me I see you silhouetted against a tree, set aglow, from behind you the setting sun. Your beauty angelically erotic and stunning……

Your surprised body, pleasure I like, I can say it, though only once and it won't last: I want this. I want this

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For the first time in my life...

I wake up in the morning and greet the rising sun,

With a smile to my face...

Whispering your name to its light...

Asking it to keep you warm, safe and happy,

In its day.

 From my office window..

or the roof my house..

The setting sun, my moment of thanks,

For the day, for you…

After all you carry its beauty...

At night, before I go to bed...

I open my curtains and window,

to feel the night…

to look at her stars

and ask for your peaceful sleep

and sweet dreams.

I ask for a guardian to watch over your bed...

and guide you in your dreams..

to ensure you a safe return...

To the moon....

I whisper your name...

To hear it's beauty..

It's echo in the silent night...

To let the world know..

I am missing you....

Maybe it's wrong for me to say this...

"But Dammit I want this..."

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I say I love you…

And

my heart gets scared at it's magnitude.

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I am the space

You desecrate

When you pass through.

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You are the sea…

Your eyelids …

They curve over chaos

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My heart longs for you,

it's ribs bare…

It's content to wait….

Remembering you…

Like rain…

The sound of water

With sky in its lungs.

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I ripple in the blue of your eyes....

Wet like tears....

Fluid as emotion...

I am in motion....

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Amidst this circle of trees...

the clumps of grass,

I sit centered in this winter day.

The winds of change whistling

through the ribs of my cage.

This mortal heart...

the ache....

before it brakes,

splintered in a thousand...

The jagged edges of this life.

It wounds me...

The red drops...

my blood....

it spills....

trickles over the white

of my shirt....

This thought...

my inner chatter

distant and fading...

in it's ebb and flow...

I am sinking...

This need...

my breath...

I cannot find...

Till death do us part...

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A cry into the world

are my words....

wrapped in eternity,

slip sliding to the foreground

of my mouth...

where they utter silence...

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 Are we this midwinter day...

late afternoon suns,

Glowing over dry grass hills

blotted in winter colors..

I am out of season.....

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In the silence of these images

Your unspoken words….

Captured in the web

You spin…

I am retracted and still

Surrounded in darkness

Words escape me…

I am becoming this sea

That floats over chaos…

*******

You fill me in volumes

I then spill myself….

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I fulfill your lost minutes…

I think somewhere…

Between you and eternity…?

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If I had no hands to write with….

I would talk my head off

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" Hide away " Hide away"

in the depths of this darkness

the silent cry of my soul...

To the world I am not

in existence....

Hidden within in this shell

My body....

In your silence.....

I am becoming a whisper....

quiet and still amongst and through trees

I weave like the wind......

I sit and listen and unheard

are the echo of my tears...

drips dropping....

In this well of desire......

(It's better this way.....my heartache will brake the world)

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The quiet of my day

enveloped and turned

I walk with my face to the wind

with the taste of sky to my mouth...

I Weave through trees...

pulling and tugging...

the laughter of their leaves...

They sing your name...

In turn I rustle....

Shake their branches

and glide...

with my heart flayed and open

to the sun.....

Open and bare....

exposed to the light within

The beauty of your name..

it carries.......

the want for you....

in eternity.....

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Standing amidst these flowers

Your are this field..

With the taste of life in

It's beauty…

Wild Flowers colored

And turned to the sun

The light of your existence…

They smell and

they taste like the color

Of sweet rainbows…

The beauty of you…

I see them ….

The fairies of this field

Flies of butter

With wings of gold

Reflected in the brilliance

Of you….

Touching here and there

Gentle and overturned…

They flutter kissing flower to flower

And my heart melts….

And I know…..

I want to plant you….

In a million and love you

like butterfly kisses…..

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The captivation…

Of this moment

Is consequential in it's

Understanding.

It reacts in form

Grows quiet in action…

I am afraid…

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In these mornings

comforted in silence

and enfolded from

within the noisy

chatter of my mind....

Like skipping stones

they flip, flop and plonk

the liquid surface

of my soul....

I observe you in these

images and you say...

I am not here....

But I am here also.....

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You blossom in pink...

as I in wave upon wave...

Make decadent love

to your soul.......

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I rip and tear

at the fabric of my soul

woven together into moments

and fragments of the images of this mind,

my mind,

the continuity,

this journey of a existence.

I seek the answers in questions...

Like uttering,

Little lines and phrases,

I am all words...

Like mist and clouds

I disappear before the sun

I am in there and invisible,

captured in this hue,

I am the creator of shadows.

Am I the shady dealer

in the actions of this mind,

the games we play...

I ask myself.....

again and again....

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Let me be the dew on your petals

and taste the sun in your colors...

*****

Without warning

Reality Returns…

Like the wind

Slamming a door

in an empty house…

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You arise in split image moments..

like early morning suns

glowing over grassy hills

you blot me in winter colors...

Like liquid dreams

you awake me,

I flow and drip.

react and form

into a million drops

dispersing into instances

wet and tasting....

Without warning

you return....

you flow through me

internal you alight me

in red and orange...

You make me believe..

I am the sun......

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I am wrapped in this day,

comforted and in blankets of joy,

you cuddle me

and I get excited in the thought and feeling of you.

In seconds and time I elapse

and return to dunk and explode myself in these drops of lust

I splatter and split in a million drops

and I become fluid,

in motion and emotion

you return me time and time again......

Like water returning to the sea..

I Flow in rivers,

curve and snake through land and hill.

With the sun to my back

My surface shimmers in gold and silver

I reflect to the world .....

Your beauty.....

Captured within me

so clear as my liquid state...

Drink and drown.....

my thoughts....

My sound is that of waterfalls....

and the sea.......

I will not love you in certain form...

I will not love you in confinement..

But I will love you in wave upon wave and

Like the ocean forever washes ashore

Forever I will Love you....

and Adore.........

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The stars in the night

and the lush green rolling fields

cry alone tonight...

My heart no longer alone...

My heart is you...

Beating within me...

these thoughts of you,

permanent residents of my mind.

This desire that grows for you

burns inside me..

I cannot let it rest...

You are my heart,

alive within me...

I have become this fantasy,

my reality captured in you..

It has become my world

and it's constant beat.

I sigh in relief,

with the night

I curl up close beside you

finding shelter and silence

in the comfort of your presence.

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Storming forth in a grimace

The wind I force

black and thunder

I raise my voice....

Scrambling through lines and Shadows

of thought....

I have grown quiet.....

Your words....

They bury me...

Between sand and stone...

Acres of dust...

This desert...

I have become this shivering rock....

on which your mountain rests.

But have no despair or sorrow...

While the sun rise and sets

And seasons change

I am constant...

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Reality always seem to strike

When you least expect it,

It has become a fact of my life

That you will be not here...

Forever…

Or any longer,

I am but a moment,

A drop in the spill of this bucket

My life,

In a lifetime

That will never be long enough

To love you with all I can...

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Forever closer.....

and still too far

are the dreams of this heart.

It is amongst stars and cosmic tendencies

I lose myself.......

Drift, drifting away are these days

Wrapped in surcumpassed want

Unrequited ideals

and linguistic expression....

It is not this sea of sand...

Nor the sharp edged rocks

It is the barren destitute

of what we cannot change

That rolls me.....

Tumbles me in this weed.

I roll forth....

Pushed in the unkind wind......

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you cannot know the fears i have

as i think about you ....

sometimes late at night

i fear that i shall only exist

at the feet of your laughter....

lie awake long nights while you sleep

so loneliness does not trouble you

nor hunger, nor thirst.......

overwhelm your waking world with wonder

read to you poems written the night before

while you smile and look overtaken......

or just when my very breathing begins to depend on you

even as your fingers entwine in mine

some insensitive thing

crushes your butterfly spirit

and i weep at the unfairness.....

shadows of sun and darkened lands

flow over you

and they eclipse,

closes your eyes

how unhappy the world can make you...

i cannot live with the thought of having you, loving you

any other way...

a day without such care

has no meaning...

I shall find for you a name

your name shall bring light.....

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