What I would like for people to know about Self-Injury (SI):

I would like for people to understand that SI is *not* about "just trying to get attention." What I mean is, some people think that SI is just about being a attention seeker. About trying to be "in the spotlight."

SI *is* about hurting. SI *is* about needing help. SI is often done to avoid/end pain that can not be dealt with. It is a way of coping. It is a way of replacing psychological/un-controlable pain with physical/controlable pain.

What should you do if you see someone with signs of SI? Be patient. Try to understand that the SI isn't the problem. The problem, the thing to be "attacked" is what is CAUSING the pain that the person is having to deal with via SI.

Offer them understanding. Offer them an ear. Offer them a shoulder to cry on. Offer them assistance in getting the help they need to deal with the problem effectively.

DO NOT preach to them how awful and disgusting cuting/burning/etc it. DO NOT tell them the scars are ugly. DO NOT try to scare them into stopping by telling them the medical dangers of SI.

They already know all the "bad" stuff you can say to them. They already feel enough shame and guilt. You DO NOT need to add to that.

They do, however, need support, compassion, and understanding.

Now I would like to offer you an article that I wrote on this topic. It was published in a mental Health Awareness Newsletter.

My Battle with Self Injury
by Gretchen Rose Bailey


I began to self injure at a very early age as a result of abuse by several family members. I believe I began to self injure to substitute the psychological and uncontrollable pain of my abuse with a physical pain that I could control fully. I also knew that people around me could not see the injuries from the sexual abuse so as a cry for help I physically injured myself in hopes that someone would ask the right questions and save me from what was happening. As I grew older the self injury became a kind of addiction. I needed to harm myself because I felt a lot of guilt and self loathing as a result of what was done to me. I would cut myself, burn myself and force myself to purge after eating because I felt I deserved punishment. Eventually I was unable to stop harming myself. I would purge every time I ate. I would bite myself in response to flashbacks or panic attacks, and I would feel the need to cut myself in order to be able to sleep at night. As a result of my need to punish myself I lost all control and hated myself more and more. I felt extremely guilty about the scars people often asked about. I started wearing long sleeve shirts in he summer, and tried to hide all signs of my eating disorder. As time past I realized that I needed to substitute this destructive comping mechanism with a more productive one. Through therapy and a strong understanding support system I have been able to decrease the frequency and severity of my self injury. It has been a difficult battle which is far from over, but I'm closer to healing than I ever have been.
If you meet someone you know or suspect injuries, please be as supportive as possible. It is not necessary to remind them of the danger of infection or other things that could happen as a result of their self injury. Believe someone who knows; we understand the dangers, and feel enough guilt and embarrassment over our scars and our pasts. Please don't add to this. Self injurors can only stop if they have a lot of support and understanding people around them.


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