Scrooge stands at his desk, keeping a close eye on his clerk,
Bob Cratchit, who is busily copying letters.
Scrooge's nephew, Fred, enters.
FRED A Merry Christmas, uncle! God save you! SCROOGE Bah! Humbug! FRED Christmas a humbug, uncle! You don't mean that, I am sure? SCROOGE I do. 'Merry Christmas.' What reason have you to be merry? You're poor enough. FRED Come, then. What right have you to be dismal? What reason have you to be morose? You're rich enough. SCROOGE Bah! Humbug! FRED Don't be cross, uncle. SCROOGE What else can I be when I live in such a world of fools as this? Merry Christmas! Out upon Merry Christmas! What's Christmas time to you but a time for paying bills without money; a time for finding yourself a year older, and not an hour richer; a time for balancing your books and having every item in 'er through a round dozen of months presented dead against you? If I could work my will, every idiot who goes about with 'Merry Christmas' on his lips, should be boiled with his own pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. FRED Uncle! SCROOGE Nephew! Keep Christmas in your own way, and let me keep it in mine. FRED Keep it? But you don't keep it. SCROOGE Let me leave it alone, then. Much good may it do you! Much good it has ever done you! FRED There are many things from which I might have derived good, by which I have not profited, I dare say. Christmas among the rest. But I am sure I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round--apart from the veneration due to its sacred name and origin, if anything belonging to it can be apart from that-as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow-passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys. And therefore, uncle, though it has never put a scrap of gold or silver in my pocket, I believe that it HAS done me good, and WILL do me good; and I say, God bless it! BOB CRATCHIT Amen Sir! Amen! Applauding vigorously. SCROOGE Let me hear another sound from you and you'll keep your Christmas by loosing your situation. You're quite a powerful speaker, sir. I wonder why you don't go into parliament. FRED Don't be angry, uncle. Come! Dine with us tomorrow. SCROOGE The day I die and see myself in a cold, dark grave will come all the more sooner, nephew! A prophetic view of his upcoming cemetery visit with CHRISTMAS YET TO COME. FRED Uncle! But why? Why? SCROOGE Why did you get married? FRED Because I fell in love. SCROOGE Because I fell in love! sarcastically Good afternoon! FRED Nay, uncle, but you never came to see me before that happened. Why give it as reason for not coming now? SCROOGE Good afternoon! FRED I want nothing from you; I ask nothing of you; why cannot we be friends? SCROOGE Good afternoon! FRED I am sorry, with all my heart, to find you so resolute. We have never had any quarrel, to which I have been a party. But I have made the trial in homage to Christmas, and I'll keep my Christmas humor to the last. So a 'Merry Christmas,' uncle! SCROOGE Good afternoon! FRED And a 'Happy New Year'. SCROOGE Good afternoon! as Fred leaves he bids farewell to Bob Cratchit. FRED A Merry Christmas, Bob! And God bless your good wife and family. BOB CRATCHIT Thank you, sir. And a Happy New Year to you also! SCROOGE My clerk is another fellow, fifteen shillings a week, and a wife and family, talking about 'Merry Christmas.' Bah! Humbug! Fred exits as two robust philanthropists enter. MR. CHARLTON Scrooge and Marley's, I believe. Have I the pleasure of addressing Mr. Scrooge or Mr. Marley? SCROOGE Mr. Marley has been dead these seven years. He died seven years ago, this very night. MR. CHARLTON We have no doubt his liberality is well represented by his surviving partner. he hand Scrooge his credentials. SCROOGE shaking his head, he forcefully returns the papers. MR. BENTLEY At this festive season of the year, Mr. Scrooge, it is more than usually desirable that we should make some slight provision for the poor and destitute, who suffer greatly at the present time. Many thousands are in want of common necessaries; hundreds of thousands are in want of common comforts, sir. SCROOGE Are there no prisons? MR. BENTLEY Plenty of prisons. SCROOGE And the Union workhouses. Are they still in operation? MR. BENTLEY They are. Still, I wish I could say they were not. SCROOGE The Treadmill and the Poor Law are in full vigor, then? MR. BENTLEY Both very busy, sir. SCROOGE Oh, good! I was afraid, from what you said at first, that something had occurred to stop them in their useful course. I'm very glad to hear it. MR. CHARLTON Under the impression that they scarcely furnish Christian cheer of mind or body to the multitude, a few of us are endeavoring to raise a fund to buy the poor some meat and drink, and means of warmth. We choose this time, because it is a time, of all others, when Want is keenly felt, and Abundance rejoices. What shall I put you down for? SCROOGE Nothing! MR. BENTLEY You wish to be anonymous? SCROOGE I wish to be left alone. Since you ask me what I wish, gentlemen, that is my answer. I don't make merry myself at Christmas, and I can't afford to make idle people merry. I support the establishments I have mentioned - they cost enough; and those who are badly off must go there. MR. CHARLTON Many can't go there; and many would rather die. SCROOGE If they would rather die, they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population. Besides -- excuse me -- I don't know that. MR. CHARLTON But you might know it! SCROOGE It's not my business. It's enough for a man to understand his own business, and not to interfere with other people's. Mine occupies me constantly. Good afternoon, gentlemen! MR. BENTLEY Good day to you, Mr. Scrooge! MR. CHARLTON Mr. Scrooge! as they exit a caroler enters through the door. CAROLER God bless you merry gentleman! May nothing you dismay! Scrooge grabs a large ruler and runs toward him. He screams and runs away swiftly. Scrooge sits while Bob Cratchit still copies busily at his desk. A BELL signals closing hour. BOB CRATCHIT Shall I close up now, sir? SCROOGE And you'll want the whole day tomorrow, I suppose? BOB CRATCHIT If quite convenient, sir. SCROOGE It's not convenient, and it's not fair. If I were to stop half-a-crown for it, you'd think yourself ill-used, I'll be bound? And yet you don't think me ill-used, when I pay a day's wages for no work. BOB CRATCHIT It is but once a year, sir. SCROOGE A poor excuse for picking a man's pocket every twenty-fifth of December! But I suppose you must have the whole day. Be here all the earlier next morning. They both ready themselves to exit. BOB CRATCHIT I will, sir. Thank you! SCROOGE Close the door, Cratchit. I'm off for that poor excuse of a dinner at the tavern. BOB CRATCHIT A Merry Christmas, sir! SCROOGE Bah! Humbug I tell you! As Scrooge exits, carolers enter the scene singing 'Joy to the World.' Scrooge walks toward them. Bob Cratchit closes the shop door and scurries off. SCROOGE Be off you! What joy could this world entertain on such a miserable evening as this? The children run off. Bah! Humbug!
Scrooge exits . . . as he leaves, lights dim, snow blizzard sounds get louder,
snow blizzard sounds get louder, shop door and furnishings are removed.
The door to his home, with knocker, is positioned.
Scrooge's bed, with curtains is placed back into position.
Adult and child carolers enter singing - A CHOSEN CAROL - as the scene is changed.
Go to NEXT SCENE
Return to 'CAROL' Menu Selections
